Confused

Hmmm.. I think I MAY have developed some feelings for R... Oh I don't know! ><

He makes me smile all the time and like we can be mean to each other, without neither of us having a nut at each other. I mean, to me, he is the perfect guy for me. BUT! it's the INSIDE that captures me, not the OUTSIDE. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but he's not that good-looking. Not even average, I must say. Everybody who has meet him, has told me that he looks like a nerd. And hey, I don't have anything against them or anything. Just that, sometimes he DOES look a bit clueless/lost and I don't know.. puts me off maybe? But he's l

ike sooo adorable and all from the inside. I love him for that. 

Sometimes, when I think about it, and then see other girls with their oh-so-hot boyfriends, I feel like, 'Oh, why can't I find a good-looking boyfriend like her?' I mean, yeah, that may sound pretty greedy of me, but that's how I feel. And then sometimes I'd think to myself, 'Well, I'm sure that if I love him enough, I wouldn't care about his looks', but you know what? I don't think I can do that, just yet. 

Maybe I am waiting for some good-looking/average guy to knock at my door. But.. Somehow, I think that it would be impossible.. Don't know why I think that. But I do. I really do like R. But, maybe it's coz I can't handle the criticism of 'Why the hell are you going out with a guy like him?' and all that. Or maybe it's really the fact that his appearance REALLy does not capture my heart. I wish he would look average at least. I don't care whether he's got money or not. Average wealth is fine to me. I just want what he's got in the inside, and possibly, a better looking outside... I hope. 

And maybe when that day finally comes, it would be too late. Maybe he would've found someone else who like him for who he is -from the inside and out. Or maybe.. I would've found someone better? But who knows. All I know is that I want someone like him. But a bit better looking on the outside. He's perfect on the inside. But not so perfect on the outside. *sigh* But don't worry. I will still be thinking about this situation. I want to go out with him and become his gf, but.. there are just so many 'buts'. I think I'm thinking like this is all mainly focused on his appearance. Sorry R. You will have to wait longer...

So Bored..

Well, not a lot has been happening lately. Just you know, right now is the start of the exam month/'season'. And I have been preparing for my physical geography exam (which was this morning) for like the last 5 or so days. Man, was it hard work, cramming everything into my head or what? I kept

getting distracted... and seem to always lose concentration. Well, I guess I finally got through. Though last night, I practically 'died'. Felt so wasted, so tired, so sleepy. Got about 3 hours nap. Wasn't that comfy but was an OK sleep. But felt good and recharged afterwards! Yeah, so I woke up at 7.30 a.m. to go take a shower and then spend a couple of minutes studying for my geo exam. Did some last minute studying and yeah, went into the exam room. When it started, sort of did alright in Section A. Sort of OK in Section B and didn't do Section C, as I had no idea on any of those topics. One thing I'm pissed about is, that I screwed up the Carbon cycle! And last night, my brother (DC) was teaching me and telling me about it. *Sigh* What a let down =(

Anyways. So I've only got two more exams to go. The Chinese and the Japanese one. Hope it all goes well!

Hmm.. Well, recently, K asked me this question on Facebook (FB), "When are you going to give me your heart.. hahaha". This question got asked was mainly coz of this FB application. I think it was called the 'Give Hearts' application(?). Yeah, well, I give him those hearts, pretty much everyday. But I also give them to other people too. He said that as well as saying that the heart that I had just given was a 'very nice heart'. So I answered to that 'unusual' question, 'Umm... I don't know.' and then yeah, he asked me again, and I said that I didn't know what he was talking about, and he said that I was a smart girl, and that I should be able to work it out. I told him that I didn't want to get the wrong idea, and so yeah, he won't tell me, but I'm hoping that it's not what I think it is...

I mean, I wouldn't know what to do if you know.. it's actually what I think it is, that he's trying to get 'through' to me. So yeah... I'd like to know, but at the same time, I don't want to know the truth...

Mmm.. I'm feeling so tired and restless here.. I have a sore back at the moment... I have nothing much to do... I want to go see R, but I don't know whether he is up yet or not (even though it's like 2.51 p.m now) and I think maybe he will be studying...? So yeah.. and I don't want to go home yet... Man. I feel so .. miserable(?) and bored over here... *sigh*

Close Buddies

Yep. Once again, I haven't been blogging for quite a while. 

Well anyways, yesterday was R's birthday. So I decided to get him a birthday cake, coz he said he wanted a chocolate cake from New World. But the thing was, I didn't realize that the cake that he wanted was the one on Pioneer Highway not the one on Broadway Ave. Luckily! I went with H after I helped him out with his essay and having lunch with him and his friend. Yeah, so we went to the one on Broadway Ave first, by bus. We went there, and we 

couldn't find the one that he wanted, so we went to Woolworths across the street. We couldn't find any. But I think we bought some nice silver candles from there. So went carried on with out trip, by foot(!), in the rain (it was raining every now and then), very windy too! We walked back to Downtown, as I had needed to go to the bathroom, on the way there, I saw that hot BK manager again!! *yay* ^^ 

So me and H were just walking from A to B. It was pretty far I tell you. I think it took us about 20 minutes to walk all the way t the Pioneer Highway New World. Was sure  a tough journey.. But luckily I had company with me! We made quite a few trips to other shops and places for the candles, decorations for his (R's) cake and also H wanted to go rent out a game. Man, we walked for like 2 - 3 hours, straight up. And man, were we tired or what?! Finally, when we were just outside his place, we had to decorate his cake with some candles we bought on the way, from Pak 'n' Save. They were some "Happy Birthday" candles. Very pretty after we decorated the cake. Of course. We missed out one thing, the lighter, so we could light up the candle. And R said that he doesn't  have one at his place. But we went to his place anyway

s, since we were so tired. When we got there, I said 'happy Birthday' to him. And then we just sat down on his bed and watched this Cantonese drama with him. After that, we just mucked around in his room, K2 said that we will have dinner at 6.30 p.m. and I got hungry so i searched for food in his room (haha) and  I found some panda cookie thing to eat. Was good enough for my stomach. Shut my stomach up for then.

So we went out at about 6.45 p.m. We finally decided that we would go to Aqaba to have dinner. I ordered a Thai Green Curry Chicken, R ordered a Scotch Fillet -he also had dessert (Black Forest Cheesecake) afterwards too, and H ordereed the same Scotch fillet and I'm not really sure what K2 ordered. But it was some sorta fish fillet thing. Was a great atmosphere. We all laughed, talked, joked around and everything. Was certainly a good night. Then about  8 p.m. we went back to his place, me and H had to go to Countdown, to go buy a lighter so we could light up the candles. When we got back, we went into their kitchen place and we lit the candles and all, got cameras out, put the lights on, etc etc. We sang him the "Happy Birthday" song and then R blew out the candles. And then we finally got to eat the chocolate gâteaux (cake). Was yum. K2 thought it was better than (who I think it was - R's ex gf's) cake from some years ago... But R disagreed. I didn't care. Coz for K2 liked it, so I'm all good with that! =)

After eating that one piece of cake, we washed the dishes, we just all crowded around the sink, while me and H were washing the dishes. And then we all went back to R's room. We then decided to go home, so K2 took me and H home at about 9 p.m. 

Hmmm!! I think it was a great day! Though I still can't believe that I had to go through ALL that just for R! (haha), I think that was the FIRST time ever, that I have ever done such thing. But in the end, I knew it was worth it, considering that I would have nothing else to give him on his first birthday celebration with me! ^^ I think altogether i spent about $30 on his birthday ("present"). But it's worth it, coz he's such a good friend! 

Not Bad

Yeah. So long time no blogging. Hmm.. Well here are my thoughts. 

I've decided to give up on K2, seeing as there are absolutely no chance that I will ever get a chance to be his girlfriend. And it's not like he's showing any interests to me.. =( Sad. I know. But that's OK. At least now I don;t have to be hung up on some stupid guy (even though he is still me friend - though we aren't that close). 

Also, I still have R, so it's OK. We can still have fun together. And I know that R doesn't like me (more than a friend), coz he told me that, he talks differently to the girl he likes (apparently that Malaysian girl we saw at IPC. He think she's hot. But I think she looks really.. boring ><>

AND! I met a new friend, H. Though you could say we sorta met via Facebook - R's page (haha). So we got to know each other and talked a lot on Facebook and then got each others numbers and then started talking on MSN. Yeah. Apparently he's seen me around at uni (that's pretty much how we first had our 'convo'). BUt to be honest, I have never seen him around at uni before... @_@ H is a good guy. He's very kind, and a very forgiving person. Though.. Honestly... He's not that great looking. BUT! He's got style. And you know? It doesn't seem to bother me that much, how guys don't look so 'hot'. It's the INSIDE that counts. 

I mean, I thought K2 was hot and all. But do I have a chance with him? No. I don't think so. But for now, I like to think of all of my guy mates, just as friends! xD Makes my life easier. Less things to think about.