Feeling the Distance

I'm starting to feel the distance in my long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know what it is, but I feel that we're not as close as we use to be. Maybe it's cos whenever he's working, so am I. Or when he's working, I'm not vice versa. As a result, we can't text each other or leave each other messages cos either one of us are busy or both are busy.


Sometimes, it feels like I'm the one with no like, spamming him with texts and he never really spams me... Like the most texts that he's ever sent/spammed me with was like 10 probably. Whenever we talk on the phone at night, he's always too tired or sleepy to talk cos he's got work  early in the morning the next day, so we eventually only talk for a short time. When we talk, it's pretty much full of nothing..... I don't even know what we talk about...

It feels so meaningless. 


I still love him heaps. But this distance between us is in a way causing some fights and arguments which isn't what I want... But it just happens.... I don't know whether it's just me or what. Maybe it's cos of the lack of communication this month, but I don't know.... 


At times I wonder to myself whether this relationship will last if it continues to be like this. I want it to continue but it feels like we hardly talk to each other and it's not longer that fun. I wonder to myself whether this whole thing has become a daily routine. Like, wake up, text "good morning" etc and continue texting and everything else we do.


I feel kinda sad whenever I think about this. But what can I do? I can't tell him. I don't want to have another heart-to-heart talk with him. I feel like I'm the crazy girlfriend who over thinks too much and has so many problems? :/ 


I can feel that he feels the same way about me, but sometimes, when he does text me or call me, the way he speaks to me, isn't the same as we use to talk. It's more simple and blah. When I look back at the texts that he's sent me from way back, like in 2011 (at this time, May), his texts are so much sweeter and draws me closer to him, and still makes me smile just re-reading them again.


There is a huge difference between last year and this year.......... And it's only been 21 months since we've been together. Not even 2 years yet. I want to be with him... But I guess these are the obstacles that we have to go through in order to be together.... I think.......... I dunno. I can't even sleep properly now. Every night I roll around in bed, thinking about him, and everything else that comes into mind. Even my head is feeling a bit dizzy and headache-y now. I don't know what's wrong with me... :/