So it's been two days since our 2nd anniversary and I still haven't received his gift to me yet. I also found out on the day of our anniversary that he hadn't even written in the card yet.... I initially thought that he had written in it in the morning as it was left on the table with all his pens around it. Then to find out at the end of the night that he had not even written in it... It was like a stab to the heart...
We didn't do anything exciting for our anniversary. We only went out for lunch with 2 of his friends and then shopped a bit, had coffee then went back to his place. We sort of did our own separate things. He watched TV and I watched dramas on his laptop. We ended up cuddling up together an hour or so later and then he went to cook dinner for us. It was great. we had raw salmon, grilled scallops with salad and out main with grilled salmon with salad and for dessert we had this oven baked berry and apple tart. It was a good night. But at the same time, it was all the same. It was pretty much what we always did whenever he came back to PN. There was absolutely nothing special about the day.. OUR day...
Despite that day, the NEXT day he went to get his windscreen fixed so he couldn't come over and see me as it took 4 hours to get it fixed. So we both stayed home pretty much. I don't know, but I just felt very upset. Cos the night before he told me that he would walk over to my place after he dropped off his car. But in the end he walked back to his place...
The stuff he does, makes me feel like he doesn't want to be with me. At least not until he knows that I am unhappy with him and he knows it. Whenever he knows that I'm unhappy with him, he says all this sweet stuff to me, and tells me how much he misses me and wants to see me. In the end, I just think it's all too late for that. I know he loves me, but the effort that he puts into this relationship, just doesn't seem enough.
Even my mum knows that I want to make the most out of our time together when he's back. But no, he doesn't seem to care... It's not his usual "cold" vibe that he gives you, it's more of his attitude or personality -I don't know. Just he doesn't put enough effort into this and it makes me feel very sad....
It goes to the point where I want to give up this relationship or re-think everything between us. Whether it was right from the start. He was great at the start of our relationship as any other normal relationships starts off with. But it's only been 2 years!!! And he's already getting a little TOO comfy in this relationship. He hardly spoils me or gets me something out of the blue. And now, it's our anniversary and he hasn't even mentioned giving me my gift yet and he hasn't even written in the card yet... it's pretty depressing...
I guess my mum has a point when she said that it's not about how many years you've been together, it's about whether the two people have that kind of "interest" of surprising each other and just making them happy, just because. Mine use to do that, but now he doesn't... So it's like, if we do happen to move in together next year, then our relationship would be the equivalent to a married couple with kids... Nothing exciting.. And that would only be our 3rd year together next year... And.. I don't want our "spark" to blow out......... I still do truly love him but there are the little things which he does, that makes me doubt everything...
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