Re: 2nd Anniversary

So it's been two days since our 2nd anniversary and I still haven't received his gift to me yet. I also found out on the day of our anniversary that he hadn't even written in the card yet.... I initially thought that he had written in it in the morning as it was left on the table with all his pens around it. Then to find out at the end of the night that he had not even written in it... It was like a stab to the heart...

We didn't do anything exciting for our anniversary. We only went out for lunch with 2 of his friends and then shopped a bit, had coffee then went back to his place. We sort of did our own separate things. He watched TV and I watched dramas on his laptop. We ended up cuddling up together an hour or so later and then he went to cook dinner for us. It was great. we had raw salmon, grilled scallops with salad and out main with grilled salmon with salad and for dessert we had this oven baked berry and apple tart. It was a good night. But at the same time, it was all the same. It was pretty much what we always did whenever he came back to PN. There was absolutely nothing special about the day.. OUR day... 

Despite that day, the NEXT day he went to get his windscreen fixed so he couldn't come over and see me as it took 4 hours to get it fixed. So we both stayed home pretty much. I don't know, but I just felt very upset. Cos the night before he told me that he would walk over to my place after he dropped off his car. But in the end he walked back to his place... 

The stuff he does, makes me feel like he doesn't want to be with me. At least not until he knows that I am unhappy with him and he knows it. Whenever he knows that  I'm unhappy with him, he says all this sweet stuff to me, and tells me how much he misses me and wants to see me. In the end, I just think it's all too late for that. I know he loves me, but the effort that he puts into this relationship, just doesn't seem enough.

Even my mum knows that I want to make the most out of our time together when he's  back. But no, he doesn't seem to care... It's not his usual "cold" vibe that he gives you, it's more of his attitude or personality -I don't know. Just he doesn't put enough effort into this and it makes me feel very sad.... 

It goes to the point where I want to give up this relationship or re-think everything between us. Whether it was right from the start. He was great at the start of our relationship as any other normal relationships starts off with. But it's only been 2 years!!! And he's already getting a little TOO comfy in this relationship. He hardly spoils me or gets me something out of the blue. And now, it's our anniversary and he hasn't even mentioned giving me my gift yet and he hasn't even written in the card yet... it's pretty depressing...

I guess my mum has a point when she said that it's not about how many years you've been together, it's about whether the two people have that kind of "interest" of surprising each other and just making them happy, just because. Mine use to do that, but now he doesn't... So it's like, if we do happen to move in together next year, then our relationship would be the equivalent to a married couple with kids... Nothing exciting.. And that would only be our 3rd year together next year... And.. I don't want our "spark" to blow out......... I still do truly love him but there are the little things which he does, that makes me doubt everything... 

His "Super" Ex-Girlfriend

Ok, so maybe the "super" is a little bit TOO over exaggerating, but to be honest, she does seem pretttyyy super to me...

So I was just going through my boyfriend's pictures in his laptop last night (yes, with him beside me too). And I once again, came across the "Anita" folder. This time, when I opened it, it seemed to me not only were there more pictures, there were wedding photos of her and her husband. I don't know when they got married, but like seriously? What. The. Fcuk. Are those pictures doing in there? I mean looking at them through Facebook and all is fine, but saving them into the "Anita" folder, is not cool... 

On the positive side, she looked amazing in those photos, but on the negative side, it was like what the hell?!! I know she was his most memorable relationship (before me) but really?? "stalking" her life/photos and saving them, is NOT OK! >:/ I've also noticed that some of the photos seemed like she was in NZ but I'm not sure whether they were from way back when she was with him/living in NZ or whether it was after she got married then came back to NZ. 

But what can I do? Nothing. He says he's over her, then why are those "new" pics there?? I don't know if he'll ever really get over her. I don't know whether he ever compares me to her. Maybe he thinks I'm more childish than her (as I am younger than both of them). And I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but she sort of DOES look like me, which is kinda freaky. She wears glasses, has a round face (except my jawline is a tad stronger and square-ish lol) and yeah.... Sort of does look like me.... Which is NOT good....

I don't want to be over thinking about this, but I can't help it. There's so many questions that I want to ask him, but I don't think I should cos it's  a "sensitive" topic to him. I know that they still keep in contact but I don't know whether they have seen each other since she left him and/or since she got married. Oh all these questions in my head.............. :/

2nd Anniversary

YAY! Today is me and my boyfriend's 2nd anniversary! I can't believe it's been 2 years already. It sort of feels like we've been together for more than that. I don't know why, even though we're doing it long distance and we hardly get to see each other for long. Maybe it's cos I feel so close to him.... :) He's honestly a  great guy.

But the thing is, it sort of doesn't really feel that special this year... I think it's cos it's not our first anniversary and we're not making that much of a big deal out of it, like we did for our first. To me, every special occasion deserves a hint of nerves and surprises. Like, I don't feel nervous (like I normally would cos it's a special day) and it just feels like just another day.... Which is pretty sad. He hasn't even said "Happy Anniversary" to me yet this morning. At this time, last year he would've said it the first thing as he woke up. But not this year....

I don't want this kind of "surprise" and "excitement" in our relationship to fizz away that quickly... I mean, other couples still have huge surprises after being together for ages! (And yes I know I shouldn't compare my relationship to others, but it comes to the point where I can't help it...). For example, the couple that I've been "following" on Instagram, Arnold and Heart, they've just recently had their 6th anniversary and Arnold took her out for dinner and got her something nice. I've also noticed for Valentine's Day, Arnold ASKED her (Heart) to be his Valentine although it would be obvious what her answer would be, and he would also get her flowers and gifts (when asking). Which I think is really sweet. 

Me and K has only been together for 2 years, and I see no "excitement" or surprises coming up... Imagine what we'd be like and what we'd be doing on our 6th anniversary.... He said before that it's only our second anniversary, so no need to go all out on the gifts like we did on our first one. That, I didn't mind. But not having some sort of "special" plans for the day and all, kinda makes me feel sad..... Maybe I should say something to him, but I don't want myself to sound like "the high expectations girlfriend"..... :/ I've had my work mates asking me if my boyfriend has something "special" planned, and I reply, "not sure" or "don't know" with a smile. Cos deep down, I know there is nothing planned really.....

I know we're both trying to save for next year, as we're planning on moving in together, but sometimes, things happens only once, and if you miss out, then you miss out. I know anniversaries happen every year (if nothing bad happens) but still... Make every one (anniversary) special and memorable... It doesn't have to be al about money, but I just want the day to be a LITTLE bit different to the many other days in the year....

High Standards

So it's nearly me and K's 2 year anniversary (yay) and I have sort of found him something BUT I just need to get it all sorted and arrange this and that so his gift will be completed in time! Hehe. But for him.. I think he's stuck... He says nothing is up to my standards... (aww I'm sorry, honey)


I know he wants to get me something good but knowing me, I am a little on the fussy side... 


Last year for my 21st birthday he got me a GUESS bag. Don't get me wrong. I love it. But it wasn't the one that I wanted... It was the same print but just a different style... I admit.. I kind of complained about it to him but I've learnt to accept his gift and now I use it pretty much every day and all the time. 

I perhaps didn't realize how much I had hurt his feelings deep down by complaining about it. But honestly, I wasn't like in-your-face complaining. Just saying that it wasn't exactly the one I wanted. And so this year I guess he just doesn't want to get another gift that will "disappoint" me... :/ eek! Sorry, honey! I didn't mean to! I still love you hehe.

I can't wait til our 2 year anniversary!! I've been waiting so long.......... hahaha it feels like we have been together for way longer than 2 years yet we have hardly seen each other like a "normal" couple. Awww I love that boy hehe he makes me gush! >▽< 　♥

Most Adorable Couples -Ever!!

So it's been a while since I have blogged and I duno, I've just been lazy I guess haha.

Recently while I was browsing through YouTube channels, I came across this beauty video by ThatsHeart. I don't know what drew me to her and her videos, but after watching a few of her videos which (some) features her boyfriend in them. I realised how much of an ADORABLE couple they are! 

They are so sweet, funny and just too damn cute together. I'm addicted to their videos (they both have YouTube channels) especially the ones where both of them are in it. They've been together for like 6 years!!! Like oh my gosh! So long! Yet they are still very loving and caring towards each other. When you watch their videos that they make together, it makes you feel that "love never dies" in their relationship. They make us all so envious of their perfect relationship :) 

Watching these videos makes me wish me and my boyfriend could be like that. I'm not saying me and my boyfriend don't have the perfect relationship, but it's just that we live so far apart.... And makes me miss all the "couple things" that other couples can do. 

Although our plan is to move in together (yet the couples Heart and Arnold hasn't even moved in together after so many years of being together!) next year, it feels like it's still a long wait. Somehow I have a feeling at some point we will have this huge argument about (you guessed it) money. I guess that's the main reason couples fight when they move in together. But I surely do not hope that will be the case with us. 

Anyways! I just miss that boy! He's coming back this weekend! Yay! Hehe. For the meantime, you can check out this video from Arnold's channel featuring his beautiful girlfriend, Heart! Enjoy! :)

Sleep VS Girlfriend

Tell me if I'm wrong. 


Your relationship is a long-distance one, you guys hardly ever get to chat whether it's online, voice-calling or texting because both of you are either working or busy with something else (e.g. Uni) so neither of you have that time. Although you text during the day whenever you guys can. When it's night time, you guys talk on the phone for a decent amount of time to catch up on each others days and all but no. Your gf/bf decides to be all sleepy and tired when you have been in the same situation or that they have slept earlier and longer than you and yet they are still tired and insists on sleeping and yawns at about 5x per 10mins. 


Yes, being sleepy and tired is fine. I accept that. But NOT listening to what they have to say to you is plain rude and annoying! Yes I get that you are tired and sleepy but at least listen to what I say!!! If you wanted to sleep, then you shouldn't of have called!!! 


What is the freakin' point in calling when you don't intend to talk longer than freakin' 10mins?? And after that you start your yawning sessions and practically do not even bother with what the other person says??


If that's the case, I prefer my boyfriend to not call me at night if he is "sleepy and tired" or if he is planning on sleeping soon. The convo would just be pointless. It would be better if we just stayed chatting via texting that voice-calling. 


There are guys who are "gamers" and guys who are "sleepers". They will all eventually lose their girlfriend's cos they either game too much or sleep too much. 


The point in having a girlfriend is to spend time with them and spoil them with love and care. Not freakin' sleep or game!!! If you want to do that, then you might as well be single. Cos there'll be no one that needs your care and love  or you "precious" gaming or sleeping time to be wasted on them.

Feeling the Distance

I'm starting to feel the distance in my long-distance relationship with my boyfriend. I don't know what it is, but I feel that we're not as close as we use to be. Maybe it's cos whenever he's working, so am I. Or when he's working, I'm not vice versa. As a result, we can't text each other or leave each other messages cos either one of us are busy or both are busy.


Sometimes, it feels like I'm the one with no like, spamming him with texts and he never really spams me... Like the most texts that he's ever sent/spammed me with was like 10 probably. Whenever we talk on the phone at night, he's always too tired or sleepy to talk cos he's got work  early in the morning the next day, so we eventually only talk for a short time. When we talk, it's pretty much full of nothing..... I don't even know what we talk about...

It feels so meaningless. 


I still love him heaps. But this distance between us is in a way causing some fights and arguments which isn't what I want... But it just happens.... I don't know whether it's just me or what. Maybe it's cos of the lack of communication this month, but I don't know.... 


At times I wonder to myself whether this relationship will last if it continues to be like this. I want it to continue but it feels like we hardly talk to each other and it's not longer that fun. I wonder to myself whether this whole thing has become a daily routine. Like, wake up, text "good morning" etc and continue texting and everything else we do.


I feel kinda sad whenever I think about this. But what can I do? I can't tell him. I don't want to have another heart-to-heart talk with him. I feel like I'm the crazy girlfriend who over thinks too much and has so many problems? :/ 


I can feel that he feels the same way about me, but sometimes, when he does text me or call me, the way he speaks to me, isn't the same as we use to talk. It's more simple and blah. When I look back at the texts that he's sent me from way back, like in 2011 (at this time, May), his texts are so much sweeter and draws me closer to him, and still makes me smile just re-reading them again.


There is a huge difference between last year and this year.......... And it's only been 21 months since we've been together. Not even 2 years yet. I want to be with him... But I guess these are the obstacles that we have to go through in order to be together.... I think.......... I dunno. I can't even sleep properly now. Every night I roll around in bed, thinking about him, and everything else that comes into mind. Even my head is feeling a bit dizzy and headache-y now. I don't know what's wrong with me... :/