All Better

So we are all good now. When K texted me in the early morning after his work [like 3am] and I read it this morning at about 8am, his text said that his left leg was very sore and that he wanted to cry, he couldn't walk and wanted to chop it off. It was so sad to hear. All I wanted to do right after reading that text, was to go up to him and give him a BIG hug and kiss him, tell him that everything is going to be OK. I just really wanted to do that. I miss him so much. And I know he must've been under a lot of pressure or stress. Otherwise, he wouldn't say that he wanted to cry :(

He ended up calling me at 10.30am and we talked until 12pm. At first, I was unhappy, like moodless. But after a while of talking to him, everything was all good again. He told me that he really couldn't text me back at all last night was coz he was busy and he couldn't go on his 10mins break until 10pm. And he was really unhappy about that and said that he'd wag work [for one day] just so that he could come back to PN earlier to see me. After hearing that, I totally perked up! :D He said he'd do that just to piss them off [for not letting him on his break]. I was like YAYYY!! Wag work and come see me!!! xD haha. He said he might. So hopefully he can xD hehe I'm such a bad girlfriend xD

I really love my boyfriend. He's the bestest of the best! No one could EVER replace him!!! xD hehehe

I can't wait till he comes back! ♡

When He's Back

R came back today afternoon at 1pm and I went to visit him as I had the key to his room. He bought me back some Dunkin Donuts from the Auckland airport and he also bought me a big variety of cakes from Auckland.

I told K that he [R] was coming back and he told me to be careful when I'm around him and all. When it was time for K to go to work, he sent me a text saying, "Honey I'm at work now. You have fun at work and enjoy the rest of your day. I miss you a lot and not sure how to tell you. I thought a lot too. I love you heaps but not sure how to express." After reading that I was like, WHAT!? Where did that come from??

But in the end, I think it was the fact that I was with R and he felt jealous? And scared that I'd leave him for R? I dunno. But yeah. He always think that, no matter how many times I tell him that me and R are just good friends. Like BFF's. So yeah..

Then he called me at 10pm during his break, [he didn't even text me for the whole night :( so sad] and he sounded quite unhappy/upset. He did admit that he was a bit jealous, but he was OKabout it now. And that he didn't text me back coz he was real busy at work and wasn't able to take a break until then [10pm]. Somehow, I didn't believe that. At the end of the conversation, he didn't even say what he usually says before we hang up. He usually would tell me that he loves me and that he misses me. But this time he didn't. I asked if he missed me, he said, "I always miss you" in a .. flat tone. It was like.. sad :(

I notice that whenever he is unhappy [at me mostly] that he doesn't end the conversation with "I love you!" and/or "I miss you!" So that is how I know that he is unhappy/upset.

I think it is best if I never mention R's name in-front of him. Coz every time I do, this is what happens. It's worse when I hang out with R. So.. Yeah. I don't want this to always cause us both to fight or to be unhappy. I love K so much. After the phone call, suddenly, I felt like I was going to lose him. Thinking just that, made me feel so sad and unhappy. Like, I didn't want to lose him. Losing him would be the hardest thing for me. I love him so much. He means the world to me now. I don't know what I'd do without him in my life or him not being my boyfriend. I love him so so much.,

I can't wait till he comes back.. Although right now, I am a tad unhappy coz... He's unhappy? But yeah. I know that I don't want to lose him. I'm so strange.. It's only been like 3 months and I have fallen for him so deeply. Am I crazy? Or is it coz this is my first real relationship and first love? :/

I Lie?

He called me this afternoon while I was on my lunch break. He asked me when R was coming back to PN. [R had already texted me before K called, to not tell K coz he didn't want to meet up with C, as he has gone up to Auckland and knew that K would tell C].

So when I told K that he was coming back tomorrow, he instantly said that I was lying. I was like :O He said that R had told C that he [R] was coming back to PN tonight at 6pm [which was what R told me through text to tell him [K] if he asked]. I was like no, tomorrow. Then he's like saying that I'm always lying. After he said that, it was like, to me it was like, I can't believe he thinks I lie all the time! >:O I was so .. Hurt? I don't know. But yeah. I just felt sad after hearing that.

I don't know whether he meant it as a joke. But it certainly did not sound like it... I don't think I have ever lied to him before. Even if I have lied, it was only a little lie. Like telling him where I was and stuff, but in the end, he'd eventually find out where I am etc.

But seriously??? Me?? Always lying to him?! Oh come onnnn! He's gotta be kidding me, right? :/ Hmm... Yeah. I'll just pretend it's not effecting me :/

Three Months!

WOW! It's been 3 months already since me and K have been together! D: Wow. And by 'wow' I mean it as in, wow, it has felt like we have been together longer than that! :O But apparently not. Only been like 3 months. Geez.

My SM told me her and her boyfriend has only been together for 2 months and yet she feels like they have only been together for a couple of weeks! Like wow. Amazing eh? Different people, different thoughts, maybe?

Well, this month, I have sent him some songs as an anniversary 'present' :D They were: TEENAGE DREAM - KATY PERRY and PARACHUTE - CHERYL COLE. Those two songs are the ones that describe how I feel towards him and just my feelings in general. Like, it relates to me and him -if you know what I mean xD And last month I just uploaded that photo of him on FB [where I photoshopped it a bit]. Hmm.. I wonder what I should do next month eh? :/

Well I hope he likes them. I'm going to give him these little 'gifts' every month. I need to think of something new/different every month xD haha

I love him so much. Miss him. Can't wait till he comes back to PN :)

Bit More About Him

So he told me a little bit about his ex-girlfriend again last night.

He told me that he didn't talk to his ex-girlfriend for like about 3-4 days coz she was apparently 'with another guy.' And obviously not in a friend-way, was more like in a intimate way, which made him angry at her and just damn annoyed. And that he likes to be by himself if he is very very very angry [coz of me mainly] and that he wouldn't tell me where he would be.

The only reason that he'd be that angry is, if he finds out that I cheat on him or doing something that is totally unfaithful to him. Which I don't think I will do... Hopefully... :/ But yeah. Other than that, he said that he wouldn't get that angry and not talk to me for ages. He said the longest that he hasn't talked to someone [his ex-girlfriend/s most likely] would be about 2 weeks. I was like WHOA! Now that's a lonngggg time! D:

So yeah, I better be a good girl and not do anything unfaithful to him, which I don't think I will. Coz I love him deep down. I think it's this distance that we have, that keeps our love together.... Maybe? I wonder if I'd feel the same [like miss him tons and tons] when we live together and whether I'd still love him just as much?

I know this sounds quite harsh, but it's reality, right? Although I DO wish to be like this, all lovey-dovey with him for the rest of my life. It would be perfect :) But as we all know, we don't know what the future holds for us.. So.. I hope everything turns out right for me and him :)

Counting Down

He's coming back soon! Well sort of. Like another whole week and a half(?) Yeah. It's such along wait. And he is only able to stay for like a week. Like that's not long enough!!! x(

Aw I miss him so so much. I wish we lived together. Sometimes, I think about just getting married and everything will be fine. But then when I think deeply, marriage isn't the answer to everything. So.. Then again, I have to wait until the day comes. Sigh.

I really miss him a lot. I hope I don't have to work too much at Valleygirl, so that I could at least spend the day with him, even though I cannot spend the night with him, unless it's the weekend [coz my older sister is able to work for my parents].

AWWW!! I seriously miss him a lot! I don't know why! But I just do...

:(

work

Oh God! There has been so much pressure and stress from work!! BOTH sides! My parents shop and at Valleygirl!

It's like, my older sister cannot got to my parents shop to help them coz she has work from 4pm - 9pm so then I have to rush back to parents shop like pronto! Or else my dad is going to have a mental at me for being late to work, as he thinks that I'm having exams only recently and the fact that I have been going back to work late.

So it's like, after working at Valleygirl [finish either at 5pm or 5.30pm], I have to power walk to the bus stop and catch the bus back to my parents shop like real fast. And if I miss the bus I have to wait like 20mins for the next one and that costs a lot of time and that makes my dad go all psycho at me. So it's like so much pressure on me, coz at Valleygirl, I don't always get to leave on time coz there is like so much stuff to do and all. especially on the days that I finish at 5.30pm, coz I have to vacuum clean, tidy the racks etc. And sometimes I don't leave until like 5.45pm or 6pm. So it's like pressuring me to work faster as now I have to catch the bus before 6pm [last bus at 6pm].

That's what made me so angry and annoyed today at Valleygirl. Even my SSM saw me in a "bad mood" and asked my SM to see if I wanted to go home and get someone else to replace my shift. I was like, na. It's OK. I'll be fine. At the same time, my SM gave me this warning letter [coz I had undercharged customers 3x], so yeah. I'd say that it was one bad as day for me!

I even had a little cry to myself. It's like all thsi pressure is on me. I hated it. I just didn't want to work anymore. Didn't want to do anything at all. OH GOSH!! It was sooo damn stressful!! But luckily I had K to calm me down [although it didn't work] but at least I had someone to express my feelings to.

ARRGGHH! I hate pressure!!! I will have to like chill for now... And see how things go. Coz I DO want to finish on time andget back to my parents shop, coz I don't want my dad to go all psycho and nag me again. Sigh. :/