So I ended up calling my boyfriend last night after he called me 3x and texted me like 20+ times. I thought that maybe I could leave it till this morning, but I'm glad I didn't.
Cos my poor Honey cried and was totally upset. It just hurted me so bad, knowing that he was soo sad and was crying. That poor baby. I'm so glad I called him up and told him everything is going to be OK and talked things out once again. Love him to pieces.
I could never leave that cute little boy. Love him forever and ever!!!!!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Feeling Like Crap
Today, I had the WORSEST day ever! Because in the morning, I woke up with cramps and then we had some ginger tea. Was in soo much pain! Haven't felt like that before! Then after a while, I got better and was able to get out of bed and get ready for work. Was totally fine while I was walking to work. During the first like 50mins of my work, I was STILL fine, and then it just got to me. I felt soo sick. Like, dizzy, faint-ish, on the verge of collapsing, feeling hot and then started sweating.
I thought I could wait until I went on my 10mins break at 4pm. But I guess I couldn't. And ended up going into the store room. Lying on the chair. after my manager and 3IC found out, my manager decided that I should go home.
So I ended up going home at about 3.30pm. But first, i went to McDonalds to have some food. Cos my 3IC told me that it was cos I didn't eat anything at all. And yes, my boyfriend told me to eat before I ate. But I just didn't have time.
After that, went to shop a bit then went to buy my dinner at the supermarket. Then walked home.
Of course I told my boyfriend about it, he was very very worried too. And I feel bad for making him worried and making my manager worried too. I'm so happy that my work mates are soo caring towards me and that my boyfriend will always be there for me. Love him heaps.
But now I'm totally fine, right after I had my lunch at McDonalds. A burger and a hot choclate.
Thanks to all those people who cared about me :) Love you all.
I thought I could wait until I went on my 10mins break at 4pm. But I guess I couldn't. And ended up going into the store room. Lying on the chair. after my manager and 3IC found out, my manager decided that I should go home.
So I ended up going home at about 3.30pm. But first, i went to McDonalds to have some food. Cos my 3IC told me that it was cos I didn't eat anything at all. And yes, my boyfriend told me to eat before I ate. But I just didn't have time.
After that, went to shop a bit then went to buy my dinner at the supermarket. Then walked home.
Of course I told my boyfriend about it, he was very very worried too. And I feel bad for making him worried and making my manager worried too. I'm so happy that my work mates are soo caring towards me and that my boyfriend will always be there for me. Love him heaps.
But now I'm totally fine, right after I had my lunch at McDonalds. A burger and a hot choclate.
Thanks to all those people who cared about me :) Love you all.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Moody
I have been real stressed and just moody lately. Mainly cos of the fact that I have soo many assignments and they are so hard to do. AND the fact that I have to work heaps as well, so meaning not much time to work on my assignments!
The assignments that I am stressing mostly about are the Japanese ones! Cos they are ALL in Japanese writing and it takes me soo long to read and understand them!! I have to like Google Translate it! So irritating!
And I got this 200 word essay -written in japanese due next Firday! And the thing is, I have to work like everyday, 11.30am - 5.30pm coz my manager is taking her annual leave! So I wouldn't have much time to actually do my assignments!
And I guess all this stress is making me take it out on my boyfriend. Like the littlest things that he does, makes me go all upset and mad at him. Like tonight.
He didn't text me for like an hour, then 40mins then 30mins. And I got really irritated and thought he was just too busy for me, so I went all grumoy at him. At the same time, I was working at my parents' shop, and was mopping the floor and as I tipped out the water and wash out the bucket, all the freakin water splashed onto my shoes! Making my foot all wet and mushy! Was NOT a good feeling! And having that, it just made me more annoyed! >:(
I then decided to text K that, I wasn't in the mood and didn't want to text anymore for tonight and told him not to call me tonight.
He continued texting me and said he won't give up. He sounded reallt really sad after an hour or so. He kept apologising. I felt very sorry for him. But I just wasn't in the mood for talking and I had set my phone onto "silent" mode.
He said that he will continue to text me until I replied, otherwise he is not going to sleep. I was like, 'Aww, silly boy. Don't do that.'
I don't know... Maybe I will call him later on tonight.. Or maybe I will just leave it and go to sleep and see hat happens tomorrow mornign or something.
The assignments that I am stressing mostly about are the Japanese ones! Cos they are ALL in Japanese writing and it takes me soo long to read and understand them!! I have to like Google Translate it! So irritating!
And I got this 200 word essay -written in japanese due next Firday! And the thing is, I have to work like everyday, 11.30am - 5.30pm coz my manager is taking her annual leave! So I wouldn't have much time to actually do my assignments!
And I guess all this stress is making me take it out on my boyfriend. Like the littlest things that he does, makes me go all upset and mad at him. Like tonight.
He didn't text me for like an hour, then 40mins then 30mins. And I got really irritated and thought he was just too busy for me, so I went all grumoy at him. At the same time, I was working at my parents' shop, and was mopping the floor and as I tipped out the water and wash out the bucket, all the freakin water splashed onto my shoes! Making my foot all wet and mushy! Was NOT a good feeling! And having that, it just made me more annoyed! >:(
I then decided to text K that, I wasn't in the mood and didn't want to text anymore for tonight and told him not to call me tonight.
He continued texting me and said he won't give up. He sounded reallt really sad after an hour or so. He kept apologising. I felt very sorry for him. But I just wasn't in the mood for talking and I had set my phone onto "silent" mode.
He said that he will continue to text me until I replied, otherwise he is not going to sleep. I was like, 'Aww, silly boy. Don't do that.'
I don't know... Maybe I will call him later on tonight.. Or maybe I will just leave it and go to sleep and see hat happens tomorrow mornign or something.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
After Telling Him
So I ended up telling him about me, going into his email last night. It took me SOOOO long to tell him!!! He called me up earlier than usual and I was soo not ready for that, and then I decided I should tell him. But I ended up telling him through text. Cos I was just too damn scared and couldn't bring myself out to say it to him.
After telling/texting him that. He was amazingly fine with it! :O I was soo shocked and like, not sure whether he was seriously upset or totally fine with it! He said that he was aware that I would go into his account and read his emails, since the day he gave me his password to it. And he didn't mind, and even asked if I had any questions to ask (knowing that I read only his and his ex-girlfriend's emails), and asked if I was OK, whether I felt uneasy after reading it.
I told him I was fine, just scared after reading most of the emails. Oh! And I asked him about that, 22 December 2010, email. He told me that he only meant it as a friend, kind of 'miss', not the way me and him, kind of miss. I mean, it's hard to believe at first, but then again, I know my Honey is very faithful to me, and would never lie to me.
He told me a lot of stuff about her (and their relationship). Stuff like, why they broke up and what happeened and yeah. Stuff that I had always wanted to know, but was too scared (cos I don't want to bring back sad and painful memories back, for him) and now, I have all the answers.... Until NEXT time when I have another question! Haha.
Aww so glad I told him and made things clear :)
After telling/texting him that. He was amazingly fine with it! :O I was soo shocked and like, not sure whether he was seriously upset or totally fine with it! He said that he was aware that I would go into his account and read his emails, since the day he gave me his password to it. And he didn't mind, and even asked if I had any questions to ask (knowing that I read only his and his ex-girlfriend's emails), and asked if I was OK, whether I felt uneasy after reading it.
I told him I was fine, just scared after reading most of the emails. Oh! And I asked him about that, 22 December 2010, email. He told me that he only meant it as a friend, kind of 'miss', not the way me and him, kind of miss. I mean, it's hard to believe at first, but then again, I know my Honey is very faithful to me, and would never lie to me.
He told me a lot of stuff about her (and their relationship). Stuff like, why they broke up and what happeened and yeah. Stuff that I had always wanted to know, but was too scared (cos I don't want to bring back sad and painful memories back, for him) and now, I have all the answers.... Until NEXT time when I have another question! Haha.
Aww so glad I told him and made things clear :)
Friday, March 11, 2011
"Curiosity Killed The Cat"
I'm Sorry... But out of the blue, I decided to go into his email account for the very first time. And the first thing I look at is through his inbox of course. I see a lot of emails from me and the rest were just his business.
And yes... I had tried to find his ex-girlfriend's emails in his inbox. But I couldn't go through many many pages of them emails [from other people], so I went to search her name in the "search" box... I typed in her surname. And what do you know? There are quite a few emails from her. The current ones were from 2010. I can't remember what month or date, and I don't intend to. But the emails were all casual emails. Nothing too surprising or shocking.
But then I went into his "drafts", cos once he told me, that was where all his "secrets" are kept or that is the place where he blogs. Once I clicked on that. I saw that there were quite a lot of emails that has got to do with her. And I have learnt that they use to call each other "benben" and "tata" and another one like, "zhazha" or something. I sorry, I poked my nose into his past, and now I am damn curious about what happened.
Oh and I also found out that on the 22 December 2010, he emailed her saying that, since she was gone, he kind of misses her. After reading that, I was damn shocked and felt sad! I mean, I thought we were happy together! Why would he say such thing to his EX-GIRLFRIEND?!?!!? O____o Hmmm... I dunno. I want to ask him about that now. Maybe that time I wasn't a very good girlfriend towards him, so he went back to talking to his ex-girlfriend or something? Or he just really missed her? Hmm..
Oh and I also found out that on the 22 December 2010, he emailed her saying that, since she was gone, he kind of misses her. After reading that, I was damn shocked and felt sad! I mean, I thought we were happy together! Why would he say such thing to his EX-GIRLFRIEND?!?!!? O____o Hmmm... I dunno. I want to ask him about that now. Maybe that time I wasn't a very good girlfriend towards him, so he went back to talking to his ex-girlfriend or something? Or he just really missed her? Hmm..
There were heaps of emails. And now I have also learnt that it was HER that broke it off with him. Now I want to know the reason... And i don't intend on asking him... Apparently they started dating in February 2002, for 6 years. That's a LONG time! I know if I were to ask him about her and his past [of their relationship], he wouldn't tell me. Cos after all, it's not that easy, and I do have that uneasy feeling, even if I wanted to know more.
Now that I know this much... I don't know whether this is considered "snooping around" his stuff or not.. I don't know whether to tell him or not.. And if I don't tell him, I know that on our 1 year anniversary, I promised to let him see my blog, and then, he would definitely see this post, and I don't know how he would react... it could end up as a disaster and we may end things or having the worse anniversary -ever. Or we may be able to talk it out?
If I tell him sometime today, it might not be that bad. Although he might be a tad upset inside, and not show it towards me. But I don't want to keep secrets from him!!! xO Awww! ... I don't know!!!
Should I tell him, or should I not? Cos now I feel uneasy... It feels that I'm lying to him... *Sigh* What should I do....? Tell him... Or don't tell him....?
Maybe I will tell him... At some point... Eek.
Our Very First Kiss
Awww! Guess what? My boyfriend still remembers the day that we first kissed. That's so sweet, isn't it?
I mean, even I didn't remember until he sort of went, "Reeeaalllyyy?" Which made me think twice, that it was true, that it wasn't the day that we were at his place. It was actually on that Monday night back in August, outside my house, when he dropped me off home.
Remembering that now, is just so sweet. That first kiss that we shared... Like 4 days before he asked me out and then 2 days later, at his house, we kissed again. Like Oh my gosh. So strange (cos of the fact that we weren't together at that time). But now that I think back to it, it was very sweet indeed. Aww.. It just makes me smile, just thinking about it.
I'm just soo glad that I agreed to be his girlfriend. If I didn't, I'm sure that it would be the worst decision ever!
Love him so much!
x
I mean, even I didn't remember until he sort of went, "Reeeaalllyyy?" Which made me think twice, that it was true, that it wasn't the day that we were at his place. It was actually on that Monday night back in August, outside my house, when he dropped me off home.
Remembering that now, is just so sweet. That first kiss that we shared... Like 4 days before he asked me out and then 2 days later, at his house, we kissed again. Like Oh my gosh. So strange (cos of the fact that we weren't together at that time). But now that I think back to it, it was very sweet indeed. Aww.. It just makes me smile, just thinking about it.
I'm just soo glad that I agreed to be his girlfriend. If I didn't, I'm sure that it would be the worst decision ever!
Love him so much!
x
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Romantic And Not-So-Romantic
Hmm.. I don't know. This is just another random entry, where I just casually enter my little thoughts into, I guess.... :o
So I just wanted to say that, although my boyfriend loves me and cares for me a lot. But I just feel that he's not as romantic as I thought he would be. And yes. I have already told him [my boyfriend] this. I mean, I'm not asking for him to do anything like, totally out of it. Like, setting up a mini surprise party or like, drive me to some sort of "romantic" destination or buying me a frekain' $1 million ring/jewelery.
All I want is for him to, sweet talk me a little, do little things for me -without me knowing, and I find out later (although he has done something like that already), buying something that I say that I really, really, really, REALLY like/love, but am too poor to afford it :( BUT! I know he's not rich himself, but spoiling me a little, like once every 6 months or more is fine :O
Maybe I'm losing track of what I really want to say, now that I'm typing it all out... :s Hmm.. Maybe... I mean, I'm sorry, but this time I have to compare him with R -again. Sorry Honey x(
I know i shouldn't be comparing my boyfriend to my guys best friend -who likes me more than a friend. But like, in a way, I think R is more romantic in his on little way. His way is like, quirky with a touch of romantic-ness. And the thing is, he spends time on something that he gifts to his "special someone" and just like, he puts in the time and effort. Regardless of the money he has to spend on it. BUT! I'm not saying that my boyfriend is a cheap ass and cares a lot about money. But I'm just saying, he [my boyfriend] could perhaps spend a little more time in giving me those special gifts.
And and! Like, sometimes, with the thiings he says [K] isn't as touching as R's words. But, deep down, I know that I love him [K] a lot, and I know that he is the one that I wanna be with. No one else. I definitely don't see a future in me and R. Even if his words are so sweet and touching. Always putting me ahead of any other girls he knows -whether it's true or not. I don't know. Cos I don't know if he says the say things to his other female friends. And he does a lot of things for me.
I definitely love K a lot and don't intend on leaving him. Cos he is the perfect -well near perfect boyfriend. He loves me, cares a lot about me, puts me in first place, buys me any thing that I ask for -directly, and just loves me as a whole. There's a lot more. But it'll probably be boring, reading the whole list.
Hmmm.... Well I guess I can't change my boyfriend's, personality and attitude. I know he's a romantic person deep down, and he says he is, but he is scared that he'd make a wrong move [in-person -not text] and then he'd regret it. So yeah. I dunno. I mean, even if it happened to be a "wrong" move, I mean, at least I still know he made the effort, right? All I know is that I love him soo much! And no one can EVER replace him :)
So I just wanted to say that, although my boyfriend loves me and cares for me a lot. But I just feel that he's not as romantic as I thought he would be. And yes. I have already told him [my boyfriend] this. I mean, I'm not asking for him to do anything like, totally out of it. Like, setting up a mini surprise party or like, drive me to some sort of "romantic" destination or buying me a frekain' $1 million ring/jewelery.
All I want is for him to, sweet talk me a little, do little things for me -without me knowing, and I find out later (although he has done something like that already), buying something that I say that I really, really, really, REALLY like/love, but am too poor to afford it :( BUT! I know he's not rich himself, but spoiling me a little, like once every 6 months or more is fine :O
Maybe I'm losing track of what I really want to say, now that I'm typing it all out... :s Hmm.. Maybe... I mean, I'm sorry, but this time I have to compare him with R -again. Sorry Honey x(
I know i shouldn't be comparing my boyfriend to my guys best friend -who likes me more than a friend. But like, in a way, I think R is more romantic in his on little way. His way is like, quirky with a touch of romantic-ness. And the thing is, he spends time on something that he gifts to his "special someone" and just like, he puts in the time and effort. Regardless of the money he has to spend on it. BUT! I'm not saying that my boyfriend is a cheap ass and cares a lot about money. But I'm just saying, he [my boyfriend] could perhaps spend a little more time in giving me those special gifts.
And and! Like, sometimes, with the thiings he says [K] isn't as touching as R's words. But, deep down, I know that I love him [K] a lot, and I know that he is the one that I wanna be with. No one else. I definitely don't see a future in me and R. Even if his words are so sweet and touching. Always putting me ahead of any other girls he knows -whether it's true or not. I don't know. Cos I don't know if he says the say things to his other female friends. And he does a lot of things for me.
I definitely love K a lot and don't intend on leaving him. Cos he is the perfect -well near perfect boyfriend. He loves me, cares a lot about me, puts me in first place, buys me any thing that I ask for -directly, and just loves me as a whole. There's a lot more. But it'll probably be boring, reading the whole list.
Hmmm.... Well I guess I can't change my boyfriend's, personality and attitude. I know he's a romantic person deep down, and he says he is, but he is scared that he'd make a wrong move [in-person -not text] and then he'd regret it. So yeah. I dunno. I mean, even if it happened to be a "wrong" move, I mean, at least I still know he made the effort, right? All I know is that I love him soo much! And no one can EVER replace him :)
Friday, March 4, 2011
He WAS Unhappy
So I found out last night, during out phone conversation that he DID felt upset/sad, when I got called up into work. He said that he felt unhappy that I got called into work, and said something along the lines, of me not caring about him. And only caring about work. I felt so sad then. Cos I thought he'd understand. I mean, I know he understands, but he didn't need to say it that way :(
When he was here, he said it was totally fine and shrugged it off and said that he understood that it was important. I really did think that he was that understanding. But I guess not. Then again, I cannot blame him. Cos like he had mentioned, if I were to go up to Auckland just to see/hang out with him, and all he does is work, I'd feel damn unhappy and upset as well. So I understand. But I DID ask him if it was alright, and he said it was. But then... He said that I could've said no... :/
Hmm... I'm so sorry Honey. I really DO hope that the next time that you come back for a long period of time, I won't work when they call me in. Will only work on the times that I have been rostered x( Cos I really DO want to hang out with him and spend everyday with him, when he is here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)