Seriously, I hate working with my now-pregnant manager. Like seriously, she's so lazy. She makes you do everything and like complains about this and that not being well done, and like blames stuff on you -just because. Like, today after work, she was like, "Oh you've got to make sure all the [clothing] garments are together in the same colour. Cos Q, I know that you want to get out exactly at 5.30pm and you don't do it properly." And you know what? It F&*%ed me off. I didn't say anything to her, cos like normal, I don't want to cause conflict at work. But seriously?? Who wouldn't want to get on on time?? Especially when we DON'T get paid for over time work AND we have to do 10x more than other stores would have to.
Not only that, but she seriously does nothing. Besides stand there and talk to customers or her friends that come into the store, takes like 45mins breaks when she's on her 30mins break and the same with her 10mins break -taking 15-20mins, does her OWN set tasks for the store (sometimes she even makes/asks you to do it for her) or make you go do the put-backs when you're clearly serving customers at the counter, while SHE takes your place at the counter and you have to go do the put-backs. I mean what the hell is wrong with her?? She definitely does not even deserve to be the manager. Like, at one point, she sucks up to us sales assistants, saying she helps us voice our problems at work to the Head Office, then the next minute, she's the one complaining about this and that and makes you do this and that or help her with this and that, when clearly, she's capable of doing it herself -on her own!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not picking on the pregnant woman or anything. She's been like this since day 1 when I started working there. She's seriously so rude too, sometimes. Like we have this new girl who's sort of recently started working at our stores. And she doesn't want her to work on the Monday 10th with her, cos we're doing merchandising and wants me to swap shifts with the new girl. She even said that she's "f&^%ing useless." I mean like, seriously?? Has she ever thought about how freakin' useless she is sometimes?? Or the fact that she's freakin' lazy as well?? She's just so mean. Just because she's got no one to do all the jobs FOR her, so that she can leave on time or earlier, when the new girl is working, doesn't give her the freakin' right to say such nasty things about her!!! She's so cruel. I seriously cannot wait till she's on her maternity leave and then steps down from being the store manager. She seriously, doesn't deserve that position.
I absolutely hate working with her. She makes me dread going to work. She's fine when it's like outside of work or when work is over. Otherwise, she's all about criticizing people and demanding them to do this and that. I really don't like her working ethics.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Jealousy
So me and my mom were talking about my boyfriend. I jokingly said to her that "he is your son in-law" and she then asked me, if I was 100% certain that he's "The One". I said yes. But then she just like you know, say the usual thing to assure me, like most mother's would. She just like said that since he's very easily to get jealous (referring to his jealousy over my guy BFF, R), he might you know, cause major conflict when we're living together. Like he'd be guarding me and acting very very over protective etc. And it would be like as if I have no freedom. And whether or not I'll be able to put up with it for the rest of my life.
She says, if he got over the 'R issue', there will still be other guys, going in and out of my life. And obviously he's going to get jealous at some point if I get close to another guy. So it'll just be a cycle.
When I think about it, it's kind of true. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love K to death!!! But he does have an issue with some of the guys that I hang out with and all. Right now, it's my guy BFF, R. And he's always sounding very upset or just unhappy whenever his name is mentioned. He always over-thinks whenever I talk to my BFF or text him etc. He keeps thinking that I'll cheat on him with my BFF. Which is obviously not true. Because I'm clearly not attracted to my BFF that way. Although my BFF does like me more than a friend. Which is probably why, my boyfriend has gone even more protective over me, whenever R is around or when I'm talking to him or about him.
I don't want to be stuck in a "psycho" relationship. Like where someone controls what you do, when you're coming home, why are you going out, who are you going out with etc. It gets really annoying and frustrating. I mean, K really needs to learn to trust me. He keeps saying he does, but it just doesn't feel like he does trust me, whenever I bring up R's name :/
He's really a great boyfriend, but he's just got that so-called 'flaw' and it does bother me a lot. I mean a little bit of jealousy is totally OK, but like just OVER the top kind of jealousy is totally unnecessary. I love him to death and want to be with him forever, cos he is definitely the "perfect" guy for me. He treats me well and all. Just that jealousy part, gets to me at times when it happens. I really do hope that he will learn to trust me more, when it comes to me hanging out with guy friends in future. I want him to loosen up a bit and not having to want to go out with me all the time if I'm going to be with guys etc.
She says, if he got over the 'R issue', there will still be other guys, going in and out of my life. And obviously he's going to get jealous at some point if I get close to another guy. So it'll just be a cycle.
When I think about it, it's kind of true. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love K to death!!! But he does have an issue with some of the guys that I hang out with and all. Right now, it's my guy BFF, R. And he's always sounding very upset or just unhappy whenever his name is mentioned. He always over-thinks whenever I talk to my BFF or text him etc. He keeps thinking that I'll cheat on him with my BFF. Which is obviously not true. Because I'm clearly not attracted to my BFF that way. Although my BFF does like me more than a friend. Which is probably why, my boyfriend has gone even more protective over me, whenever R is around or when I'm talking to him or about him.
I don't want to be stuck in a "psycho" relationship. Like where someone controls what you do, when you're coming home, why are you going out, who are you going out with etc. It gets really annoying and frustrating. I mean, K really needs to learn to trust me. He keeps saying he does, but it just doesn't feel like he does trust me, whenever I bring up R's name :/
He's really a great boyfriend, but he's just got that so-called 'flaw' and it does bother me a lot. I mean a little bit of jealousy is totally OK, but like just OVER the top kind of jealousy is totally unnecessary. I love him to death and want to be with him forever, cos he is definitely the "perfect" guy for me. He treats me well and all. Just that jealousy part, gets to me at times when it happens. I really do hope that he will learn to trust me more, when it comes to me hanging out with guy friends in future. I want him to loosen up a bit and not having to want to go out with me all the time if I'm going to be with guys etc.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Second Time
Last night, me and my boyfriend had another fight over the phone -yes, again. It was over something very stupid. I was just jokingly accusing him of cheating me me with another girl in China 4 years ago (and we weren't even dating then). And then about 11.30pm, he said he wanted to go to sleep cos he's starting to get a headache, and has work the next morning and he was feeling tired. But I was childish and continued.
I was going to let him go to sleep after one last sentence about that topic. But BEFORE I even finish the damn sentence, he talked over me and then HUNG UP ON ME -AGAIN!!! SECOND TIME, BRO! Oh my Gosh. At first I was sad and shocked he hung up on me again. But after a while, I was just purely angry. Every time I thought back about the moment he had hung up on me, tears of anger would want to come out. But I had to hold them in. I was really upset.
But of course, after he hung up on me, I texted him saying I'm sorry for being so immature and continuing. But it was OK if he never called me again, so that he could get his sleep without having a headache cos of talking to me over the phone so late. I know it was clearly my fault for starting it, and being so annoying and immature about it. But at the same time, I just wanted to hear his voice for longer...
What he did was not only mean but very hurtful. I mean, how could you hang up on someone like that?? I don't get it. Not once, but twice!!! I felt so hurt and angry at the same time. I don't know how he does it. It's like, if you're going to regret it the next day, don't do it!!! Far out! It's just not cool!
I dunno. This is the second time. And it seems like it happens every year now. Last year it was about in September/October that it happened. And it's the same this year. Maybe it will happen again next year? I dunno what will happen if it happens for the third time... I'm already ignoring his texts, although he's texted me that he's sorry for hanging up on me and all. I've also texted him saying that I don't want to talk to him today either. So yeah...
Certain situations like these, makes me think, "Are we suppose to be together?" or "Are those Chinese zodiac things right about us, about not being compatible together?" According to my dad, we won't work out eventually. But I don't want us to end. I love being with him and I don't want anything bad to happen to us. But situations and fights/arguments like these, makes me think twice about whether the zodiac thing is right or not. My mum says that we'll be fine as long as we work things out together and like just balance each other out and not "take advantage" of each other or always being so demanding etc.
I know that K always is the first one to apologize and I know it's unfair. To be honest, last night, he did sound pretty annoyed before he hung up on me. So I didn't think he'd even text me today or even apologize.... But he did. Which I'm pretty surprised. He said he called early cos he missed my voice heaps and haven't talked to me for quite a long time at night, but he didn't know it would end up like this.. I felt bad, as it was my fault for being such a b*&%$...
I want to text him back, but my mind says, "No! Screw him!" I just don't know what to do.. ignore him for a day? Or should I talk to him again later on tonight? I'm still slightly pissed off at him, whenever I think back to the moment where he hung up on me. Right now, I feel fine. But I don't know, probably slightly mood-less at the same time and just don't want to talk to him.
I'd most likely end up talking to him by the end of the night anyways... Cos I'd feel bad about it and don't want to drag on this problem for too long. Cos I know we both promised not to leave our problems/arguments/fights for over 24 hours. And I was the one who asked for that. So I gotta live up to my word. But it takes time to forgive him "properly" without being forced to forgive him.... You know?
(Of course we're all good now. I ended up talking to him around 4pm. Oh I'm so weak-minded hehe. But I love him so much)
I was going to let him go to sleep after one last sentence about that topic. But BEFORE I even finish the damn sentence, he talked over me and then HUNG UP ON ME -AGAIN!!! SECOND TIME, BRO! Oh my Gosh. At first I was sad and shocked he hung up on me again. But after a while, I was just purely angry. Every time I thought back about the moment he had hung up on me, tears of anger would want to come out. But I had to hold them in. I was really upset.
But of course, after he hung up on me, I texted him saying I'm sorry for being so immature and continuing. But it was OK if he never called me again, so that he could get his sleep without having a headache cos of talking to me over the phone so late. I know it was clearly my fault for starting it, and being so annoying and immature about it. But at the same time, I just wanted to hear his voice for longer...
What he did was not only mean but very hurtful. I mean, how could you hang up on someone like that?? I don't get it. Not once, but twice!!! I felt so hurt and angry at the same time. I don't know how he does it. It's like, if you're going to regret it the next day, don't do it!!! Far out! It's just not cool!
I dunno. This is the second time. And it seems like it happens every year now. Last year it was about in September/October that it happened. And it's the same this year. Maybe it will happen again next year? I dunno what will happen if it happens for the third time... I'm already ignoring his texts, although he's texted me that he's sorry for hanging up on me and all. I've also texted him saying that I don't want to talk to him today either. So yeah...
Certain situations like these, makes me think, "Are we suppose to be together?" or "Are those Chinese zodiac things right about us, about not being compatible together?" According to my dad, we won't work out eventually. But I don't want us to end. I love being with him and I don't want anything bad to happen to us. But situations and fights/arguments like these, makes me think twice about whether the zodiac thing is right or not. My mum says that we'll be fine as long as we work things out together and like just balance each other out and not "take advantage" of each other or always being so demanding etc.
I know that K always is the first one to apologize and I know it's unfair. To be honest, last night, he did sound pretty annoyed before he hung up on me. So I didn't think he'd even text me today or even apologize.... But he did. Which I'm pretty surprised. He said he called early cos he missed my voice heaps and haven't talked to me for quite a long time at night, but he didn't know it would end up like this.. I felt bad, as it was my fault for being such a b*&%$...
I want to text him back, but my mind says, "No! Screw him!" I just don't know what to do.. ignore him for a day? Or should I talk to him again later on tonight? I'm still slightly pissed off at him, whenever I think back to the moment where he hung up on me. Right now, I feel fine. But I don't know, probably slightly mood-less at the same time and just don't want to talk to him.
I'd most likely end up talking to him by the end of the night anyways... Cos I'd feel bad about it and don't want to drag on this problem for too long. Cos I know we both promised not to leave our problems/arguments/fights for over 24 hours. And I was the one who asked for that. So I gotta live up to my word. But it takes time to forgive him "properly" without being forced to forgive him.... You know?
(Of course we're all good now. I ended up talking to him around 4pm. Oh I'm so weak-minded hehe. But I love him so much)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Missin' You So Much
The reason why my boyfriend has only been staying for the weekend, is cos he's changed areas in his job. And now it's 5 working days and 2 days off. Before it was 6 working days and 4 days off, meaning that he could come back and see me longer. Now, it's so hard to see him longer than like, 1 day and a half-ish. It's so sad :(
Now that he's gone back for work, it feels like it'll be aaaggeessss till we're able to see each other again. I just miss him even more now. Every month, I only get to see him like for 1 day and a half-ish. It's very painful. It makes me feel so lonely without him by my side.
Sometimes it feels like he's the only person in this whole world (besides family), that I can turn to, with any problem that I got. He means the world to me and if anything happens to him, I'd be ever so devastated :( I don't want him to work in that new area anymore. Not only does he not get enough sleep/rest, he has to wake up so early and has a lot of stress at work cos of the work load that he has to do. I worry about him heaps.
There are times, when I wonder and think to myself, if he didn't have a girlfriend, would he still be the same? Like, sleeping late at night, hoping/waiting to call me or having to try text me whenever he can? It makes me think, he gets so tired, is cos he has a girlfriend... Maybe if he didn't have a girlfriend, he'll like the job more, and wouldn't have to plan as many trips to come back and see me (and his parents)? Wouldn't have to stay up late, waiting to call me or checking to see what I'm doing etc.
Either way, I miss him heaps and I try my best to not be a "princess" and let him have most things his way. I don't want to see him get sick or anything which may make his health worse :( I worry about him heaps. And I miss him more than ever now :(
Now that he's gone back for work, it feels like it'll be aaaggeessss till we're able to see each other again. I just miss him even more now. Every month, I only get to see him like for 1 day and a half-ish. It's very painful. It makes me feel so lonely without him by my side.
Sometimes it feels like he's the only person in this whole world (besides family), that I can turn to, with any problem that I got. He means the world to me and if anything happens to him, I'd be ever so devastated :( I don't want him to work in that new area anymore. Not only does he not get enough sleep/rest, he has to wake up so early and has a lot of stress at work cos of the work load that he has to do. I worry about him heaps.
There are times, when I wonder and think to myself, if he didn't have a girlfriend, would he still be the same? Like, sleeping late at night, hoping/waiting to call me or having to try text me whenever he can? It makes me think, he gets so tired, is cos he has a girlfriend... Maybe if he didn't have a girlfriend, he'll like the job more, and wouldn't have to plan as many trips to come back and see me (and his parents)? Wouldn't have to stay up late, waiting to call me or checking to see what I'm doing etc.
Either way, I miss him heaps and I try my best to not be a "princess" and let him have most things his way. I don't want to see him get sick or anything which may make his health worse :( I worry about him heaps. And I miss him more than ever now :(
Sunday, September 18, 2011
"Should Get Married"
So my boyfriend came back down to Palmy for the weekend and tonight, just before his flight back to Auckland, we had dinner at his place with his mom. After dinner, he went for a shower, while me and his mom sat there, having a chat about, I don't know. Everything. Mainly about life.
The thing that shocked me the most was that she said to me that, me and her son [my boyfriend] should get married!!!! I was like WHAT!!?!??! You gotta be kidding me, right?!?!! She was then like, "You can still study when you're married. It would be nice if there was someone to look after K when he's at home. Cook him some homemade soup and look after him in general." I just didn't know what to say after that... Just sat there kinda shocked and speechless. She also mentioned that, she and her husband [K's parents] could move up to Auckland as well, cos K's older sister is in Auckland too, and so they don't have to live in Palmy by themselves as they can't speak English that well, and needed to rely on us young[er] ones.
To be honest, I don't mind marrying him. It's just a little TOO early to be thinking about that. I mean I'm still VERY young and I do not intend to get married ALREADY! I have a lot I want to do before I stay really committed to the relationship. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm not committed right now, it's just that the situation would most likely turn into: get married → have kids → become a housewife → no time for self etc etc. And that is not what I want... Not yet anyways.
I mean, we plan on moving in together after I graduate from uni anyways.. So there's no rush to get married yet. When we move in together, we'll see each other everyday and I'll be able to look after him and he will be able to look after me. It's just it'll be a year until we get to move in together. But I'll be moving up to Auckland of course. I'm trying my best to pass every single one of my papers without fail. My goal is to graduate, move up to Auckland and live with my boyfriend.
So marriage? Hmmm... No thanks. Not for now sorry, Aunty! :/
The thing that shocked me the most was that she said to me that, me and her son [my boyfriend] should get married!!!! I was like WHAT!!?!??! You gotta be kidding me, right?!?!! She was then like, "You can still study when you're married. It would be nice if there was someone to look after K when he's at home. Cook him some homemade soup and look after him in general." I just didn't know what to say after that... Just sat there kinda shocked and speechless. She also mentioned that, she and her husband [K's parents] could move up to Auckland as well, cos K's older sister is in Auckland too, and so they don't have to live in Palmy by themselves as they can't speak English that well, and needed to rely on us young[er] ones.
To be honest, I don't mind marrying him. It's just a little TOO early to be thinking about that. I mean I'm still VERY young and I do not intend to get married ALREADY! I have a lot I want to do before I stay really committed to the relationship. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm not committed right now, it's just that the situation would most likely turn into: get married → have kids → become a housewife → no time for self etc etc. And that is not what I want... Not yet anyways.
I mean, we plan on moving in together after I graduate from uni anyways.. So there's no rush to get married yet. When we move in together, we'll see each other everyday and I'll be able to look after him and he will be able to look after me. It's just it'll be a year until we get to move in together. But I'll be moving up to Auckland of course. I'm trying my best to pass every single one of my papers without fail. My goal is to graduate, move up to Auckland and live with my boyfriend.
So marriage? Hmmm... No thanks. Not for now sorry, Aunty! :/
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Never Will Be The Same Again?
This is the first time -ever, that me and him has ever had a fight/arguement that lasts for more than a day or 24 hours even.........
I don't know whether he is angry at me for not answering his [phone] calls 5x or that it's coz I told him I was considering about going to town after my work mates 21st birthday party..... But either way, since last night, we haven't really been talking the same... And it's killing me...
It feels like we're on the verge of breaking up... But then he says that he loves me and will never leave me... But I just can't feel that... I serioulsy don't know what's wrong... And why it's so hard to get over. Maybe I'm missing out something.. Or just haven't thought about it clearly from his point of view....?
I don't know whether we will be able to go back to how we were before all this... But he says he will be fine maybe on Monday or Tuesday... Even if he does feel better, I still don't see how we can talk like we have before... Like I said before, we've never had an arguement/fight for such a long period of time... This is the first..
And next month is our 1 year anniversary... And I was planning to make him this little scrapbook of all our memories so far... And now.. With all this happening... I don't even know if it'll be happening and whether I should be continuing or not... I got everything I need so far. Just need to print out some photos and then arrange them...
It's just that, if we do end up being all good after a couple of days then I wouldn't be able to finish the scrapbook on time, as I have other things like, work and my studies to focus on... But if we really happen to end things... Then it'd just be another piece of sad memory, hanging around me..............
I hope for the best. But at this rate, I really don't know what will happen, and I seriously don't have the motivation to actually get started on the anniversary gift.... Although I know I really need to or I might not get enough time to finish it on time....... *Sigh*
Someone please help me... I can't tell anyone this. But myself........
P.S. We're all good now ;) hehe (26/07/2011).
I don't know whether he is angry at me for not answering his [phone] calls 5x or that it's coz I told him I was considering about going to town after my work mates 21st birthday party..... But either way, since last night, we haven't really been talking the same... And it's killing me...
It feels like we're on the verge of breaking up... But then he says that he loves me and will never leave me... But I just can't feel that... I serioulsy don't know what's wrong... And why it's so hard to get over. Maybe I'm missing out something.. Or just haven't thought about it clearly from his point of view....?
I don't know whether we will be able to go back to how we were before all this... But he says he will be fine maybe on Monday or Tuesday... Even if he does feel better, I still don't see how we can talk like we have before... Like I said before, we've never had an arguement/fight for such a long period of time... This is the first..
And next month is our 1 year anniversary... And I was planning to make him this little scrapbook of all our memories so far... And now.. With all this happening... I don't even know if it'll be happening and whether I should be continuing or not... I got everything I need so far. Just need to print out some photos and then arrange them...
It's just that, if we do end up being all good after a couple of days then I wouldn't be able to finish the scrapbook on time, as I have other things like, work and my studies to focus on... But if we really happen to end things... Then it'd just be another piece of sad memory, hanging around me..............
I hope for the best. But at this rate, I really don't know what will happen, and I seriously don't have the motivation to actually get started on the anniversary gift.... Although I know I really need to or I might not get enough time to finish it on time....... *Sigh*
Someone please help me... I can't tell anyone this. But myself........
P.S. We're all good now ;) hehe (26/07/2011).
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Ears Pierced!
Yayyy! I got my ears pierced today! Woop! It was sooo sore when the lady first punctured the holes into each of my ears!! It even turned red... But I'm just very happy that my boyfriend went with me. I want him to be there for me for everything!!! Hehe.
Anyways. I'm not allowed to change it till 6 weeks time and I have to sanitize it every night. It's going to be a hassle :/ But oh well. I guess it's worth it in the long run :D I can't wait till I'm able to change them everyday and not having to sanitize them! Hahaha! So we'll see how it goes and pray to God, that my ears won't get infected!!! That's my only fear right now! (besides exams of course xD).
Anyways. I'm not allowed to change it till 6 weeks time and I have to sanitize it every night. It's going to be a hassle :/ But oh well. I guess it's worth it in the long run :D I can't wait till I'm able to change them everyday and not having to sanitize them! Hahaha! So we'll see how it goes and pray to God, that my ears won't get infected!!! That's my only fear right now! (besides exams of course xD).
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