His FB Message

Oh dear Lord. So H has sent me a message on FB. This time, K let me read it, although at the start he was like, "DON'T GO ON FB!!!" And I was like, why? He told me why and I promised him I wouldn't over-think too much into his [H] words this time, like that other time. So he finally agreed to let me read it.

After reading it, he was saying how he wishes to hear my side of the story, as he has expressed his side. And that he is not here to argue. And that after what happened [couple of days ago], he is definitely NOT going to keep his feelings and to try harder to throw them away. This is the part where he gets me all mad(!!!!)

He said that, he hopes that I pay more attention to my friends. "The people who cares" and telling me to consider his feelings. And I was just like thinking to myself, Chhyeah. Whateverrr! I don't need you to tell me what to do! >:O

But yeah, whatever, like I said before, I am not going to think too much into this. I don't care about him. He want to be my friend. Deal with it. Love me for who I am, or leave! I don't care. I know who I am and that I care for all the people around me [that care for me as much]. So if he can't feel it. Screw it! I don't care.

K is right. He's not worth my time. He can be a loner for all I freaking care! I know he don't have a lot of 'close friends' that he can hang out with, so I thought I'd be the nice one and hang out with him. And be his friend. But no. He says I was being "OVER-FRIENDLY" and that I "don't care about my friends". Like, whatever, you stupid emo kid! Screw you! xP

His Email

So he [H] actually emailed me last night instead of texting me or FB-ing me. I only got to read a bit of it. Coz I had just finished work @Valleygirl and it was like nearly 10pm by the time I got out. So Obviously, as usual, I went ofer to R's place and waited for my mom and sister to come and pick me up.

When I actually remembered to sign into hotmail, after FB-ing, I saw that there was an email from him. So I clicked it open. And man, it was ONE, LONG AS email. I only managed to read like 1/4 of that message. And then my sister and mom had arrived.

So when I got home, was on the phone with K. and in a way, I wanted to ask him about his ex-girlfriend, then in another way... I sort of didn't want to. But it was too late, I had already started it. I had asked him, "Can I ask you a question?" It WAS supposedly, suppose to be about his ex-girlfriend.... But I knew he wouldn't be overly impressed with the fact that I had brought it up again... So I ended up telling him about H's email to me. Telling him to open it and read it to me.

It was too long, so K decided to pretty much summarize it. And it went something like, how H thinks that I'm inconsiderate as a friend, not caring about his feelings, and all that stuff. Coz while I was happily shopping, he was most likely, bored, and like 'left out', maybe? And saying that I didn't care about him and that he had walked around The Plaza like a billion times, up and down. And yeah. Stuff like that.

K said that he will delete that email and send it to him [K] and then send it back to me, AFTER my exams. Coz he didn't want, what he [H] said about me, to effect my mood and my study mode.

In a way, I felt real.. upset after reading -or rather, hearing that. Coz he [H] said that I didn't care about the people around me and at the same time, K said the same thing about me too... So.. It just got to me. And I ended up having a little cry... I guess it was the fact that "reality kicked in".

Maybe I am inconsiderate and selfish. Maybe I am the person who doesn't care about the people that are around me... I even asked k that, but he said not selfish, coz what I did, was totally normal [reaction]. But with caring about the people around me, he said sometimes I don't care about them. Like, I'm off in my own little world, and forget that they are there.

I asked R if that "shopper" was inconsiderate and selfish. And he said no.

I mean, yeah, I admit, I do get carried away when it comes to shopping. Coz in a way, it's like soo exciting and I like want to get it over and done with. You know?

Well.. K won't allow me to reply to the email or read it yet. He said I will be able to reply it after my exams. And he also said that H is not worth it. He's not a keeper [friend]. Just lose him as a friend. Coz he doesn't respect me and that he expects too much from me. Like, all the care and stuff. And asking me to tell him where I am and all. He [K] said that's too much from friend status. The way he's asking you to care for him, is more like a boyfriend-girlfirend kind of way, rather than a friend kind of way. I was like hmm...

SO! Right now! I jus really need to focus, focus, focus! On my studies!! More exams next week!! Arrrrghhh!

His Ex-Girlfriend. Part 2

We were on the phone this afternoon. And he told me that I his ex-girlfriend is similar to me.. Oh my gosh... But our attitude is a bit different. He said that she is more considerate of [his] feelings more than I am. And the fact that I always talk back to him and she wouldn't/doesn't [when they were together]. Also, I don't listen to the things that he tell me to do/not to do [whereas she would]. And that I'm not that considerate. Only sometimes. Like :O

I was like, "Oh ok.. So now it's like I'm getting compared to her aye?" And he sort of got defensive and said, "No. Of course not." But somehow, that just made me think more. I mean, yeah I know, I told him that if he talked about his ex-girlfriend's I wouldn't mind and I told him that I would definitely not get jealous or think negative when he tells me stuff about them. But this time, I seriously cannot help but to think negative... In a way..

I said, that he must've gotten over her [his 3rd ex-girlfriend. Apparently his most memorable and best relationship ever] by now coz he had another 2 girlfriends after her. Then he had to just.. Say that he realized that the other two weren't as good as the 3rd one, so he broke it off with them. Or they broke off with him in the end. I don't know whether they knew about this. But I found it really sad..

I mean, now that I know that I am "similar" to her and all. And that he somewhat compares me to her. It's like, 'oh sorry.. I'm just not good enough for you, like she was aye?' But yeah. I just didn't want to say any of this to him... I don't want him to get all worried-mode on me. I want him to keep telling me things about her. I don't know. Now it sounds like I'm comparing myself to her... :/

Later on, I felt like asking him, why they broke up. But then I thought it would be random just asking him after like 3hrs later. So yeah.. When he called me later on at night, I really, really, really(!!) wanted to ask him, but I just couldn't seem to bring out the courage to ask him... He did say that, that relationship was the best he's ever had and all the memories of that relationship is the most clearest and painful at the same time. So... Then again, I don't have the heart to dig out the sad side [breaking up] of his most memorable relationship... But I really do want to know..

Oh it's really bothering me. Although I know that they won't get back together, as she has gone back to China, a couple of weeks ago. But they still keep in touch. I really think that this:

If ex's can still be friends, they are either:
1. Still in love.
OR
2. They never were [in love].

Is true. I think that he is still in love with her [But I don't think she has those feelings for him, maybe??]. Maybe not as much. But I know he still has those feelings for her.. And I guess that is what's killing me inside... Slowly...

And I keep thinking/comparing myself to her. Like, trying to be more considerate of him -and others! I don't know. I'm going crazy!!! @O@

Long Time No See/Talk

Today was the first time in ages that me and H finally talked. Like face-to-face.

I mean, no. I wouldn't say it was that awkward. But I think it was a tad awkward and hard for him. I don't know. But yeah, like I always do, I always like to pretend nothing had/has happened and act like normal. So... I was OK with it.

But he kept coming back into the [computer] lab and seeing and talking to me. Like, did he really miss me that much? In the end, he asked what I was doing later and I said that I was going to go to town and eat and then shop. He said that he'd come along with me. I was like, erm. Sure.

So I met up with my older sister as I needed to change my shoes for work. He missed the bus [with me] coz he had to hand in his assignment, so he took the next one and was late. I finished eating my delicious duck noodle soup @Thai House Express. Man I'm loving that dish right now! xD Haha. When I walked out, he had arrived and we went to Chada Thai to get my sister a almond bubble tea.

Since he wanted to eat @Bean Cafe, and it wasn't opened yet [opens at 5pm], I said we should go shopping. So we walked to The Plaza, and my sister went home. I went straight to TEMT, he said he needed to check his [bank] account so he told me to go ahead, I was like, OK. I was like trying on clothes and took about 30mins and then didn't buy anything. HE texted me and said to text him when I was done, so I did.

Then I walked over to Valleygirl and MAN, I spent like $109 there for 4x items. SHEESH! In a way.. I sort of left him alone, when all he wanted was to spend some time with me [I guess?] By the time I had finished shopping and paying for all that, it was time for me to work [at 5.30pm] so he had to got and eat by himself and then go home.

He looked like he was bothered about something. Maybe it was coz of me? Leaving him all by himself while I was like la-la-la happily shopping? Probably aye....? :/ Asked him what's wrong and he said nothing and that he'd text it to me tonight, whatever the problem is [right now] I was like, um. OK? He seriously looked like he was upset about something and on the verge of crying.

Don't know what his problem is. But I saw that on FB he said "Goodbye to FB" or something like that. And he blogs with Xanga, and he said that even Xanga can't help him express his feelings or something. I was like, Hmm.. There IS definitely SOMETHING wrong.. Coz of me, maybe? :/

Wonder what's wrong with him aye.... :/

Exam 1

Done my first exam today. Was Japanese Film. Sheesh. Was sort of hard. Well, not really. The first section was pretty straight-forward and easy aye. But the second section, it was alright, not too bad. Probably will get at least half of them all correct.. Hopefully! Haha. And the last section, oh gosh. Having to write a 1000 words essay! Man! That's crazy! Rambled on with whatever. Hoping it's relevant.. Or most likely it's not.. Haha.


Oh well! now I gotta study and get onto with my Japanese [language] and Chinese [language]!! Or I'm SCREWED! Especially for the Japanese man!! Eeep!!! x( Arrgh. Man I hate Japanese. The grammatical structures are soo damn hard to remember!!

Work - Again

Oh deary me. Seems like I haven't had much luck at work latey..

Did this major complex and out-of-it problem at on Wednesday. All of us [managers + me] we like what the hell did I [Q] do?? O___o it was SUCH a hassle! I felt soo bad doing it!!

And then TODAY! I made another mistake. I UNDER-CHARGED a customer $20. Oh sigh... And they haven't found out it was me -yet! But they will soon. They know that there is a post-difference of $20. But not sure who done it. And soon, they will know it's me. I somewhat feel scared. Coz i hate getting into trouble and when I make mistakes, I feel so down -like it's the end of the world or something. And yet, I make so many mistakes. I think this is the third mistake that I have made during my [about] 4 months of employment @Valleygirl :( And man. It hasn't even been 6 months and I have done THREE mistakes on the till already :( Man I suck.

Don't know WHY I did that. But I did. Maybe it's from the stress/pressure of the strict as store policies and the fact that I know that we are being watched [constantly] through the cameras at the head office [in Auckland and Australia], and that makes me soo nervous!! And probably the fact that I have exams, and I'm stressing out a bit.... Yeah... I just need to chill.... And CALM DOWN.....

I have only told K. He did his best in comforting me. And I thank him for that. Being there for me when I most need it. He's certainly improving from when we were dating at first :)

So yeah. I will DEFINITELY HAVE TO:
1. SLOW DOWN - DON'T RUSH!! TAKE MY TIME!! LIKE SERIOUSLY
2. READ/LOOK CAREFULLY AT THE PRICE
and
3. DOUBLE CHECK!!!!

whenever I am working at the counter. Or I'm going to be SCREWED -AGAIN! And I really don't want to be having another "talk" with my mangers :( esp P [SSM] coz she always has my back and looks out for me. I don't want to cause any more trouble for her coz of me :( And I know that L [SM] has my back too. But I know she wouldn't be too impressed knowing that I continue to make more mistakes x(

Hopefully I won't make another mistake, any time soon!!! xO

Fine Now

So we are all good now :) I ended up texting him through my older sister's phone, coz he texted her first asking how work was and all.

I asked him what's wrong. He told "my sister" that he had hung up on me and all. Told me that he was sad and lost. I felt so sad and worried about him.

So in the end, at about 8pm, I texted him back. Throughout the day, he kept texting me. He even called me twice. But I was at work then. So I couldn't even pick up or hear it. He thought that I purposely ignored his calls.

We talked it out. He kept saying it was his fault and said that we should jsut blame him. End of story. I was like aww, it can't always be your fault :( But we're fine now. We ended up chatting on the phone like every other night. And now, he won't EVER want to hang up first. Coz he doesn't want to be so "rude" and hang up on me like the other night :)

He's just so adorable. I love him so much. I can really feel that he doesn't want to lose me. I love him tons and tons. And I never want to let go of such an awesome guy like him. He's the best. I miss him so much.

Seems like, after every little fight or argument that we have, I tend to miss him more than usual :/ I don't know why. Maybe it's coz I'm scared I'd lose him? I don't know. But all I know is, that I love him heaps. And I miss him TONS. I really wish that we lived together or that we lived in the same city. That way, I get to see him more and get more hugs and cuddles with him when I need and want them :)

I miss his touch :(

Fight Over the Phone

Last night. after work @Valleygirl, about 10pm K called me just before he slept as he had work at 4am the next day. During his call, around 11.10pm, we sort of had this "fight". So it goes like this:


We started talking about the day we met each other and how we felt towards each other before we went out and when we were just friends. And then he said something like, that he decided to go for me, when he realized or found out that some other guy had no hope of being with me. Like, saying that I had no interest in him [that other guy]. And then I was like, "OHH. So who is this other guy??! What guy?!" He then said that it was a secret and it was just between him and his "man stuff" or whatever. I kept asking him to tell me who it was that gave him that "hope" to go for it. Or like consider me as his girlfriend and all. But he kept saying he wont' tell me.


He was texting during our conversation, I didn't mind it. But then like 5 seconds after me asking him to tell me, he decides that he has forgotten what we were talking about. I mean what the hell?? How can you forget something that we happen to just be talking about in like 5 seconds?! And the fact that we hadn't even changed topics!?! He kept saying that I should remind him on what we were talking about and that I should ask him the question or what I had wanted to know, or else he will seriously forget all about it the next day. I was like, Oh my f*&^ing God! You gotta be kidding me! Somehow, I was very annoyed with him.. I guess it was mainly for forgetting and texting instead of listening to me.


He kept asking me what it was that I wanted to know, and I was like, you know what I want to know. He kept saying that he can't remember what we were talking about. Then it went on and he said in Cantonese, that I was very "stubborn". I was like meh [in my head].


But then he used his serious tone and said something like, "If you want to know something, just ask. Otherwise i don't know what to tell you. And I will forget the next day." Or something along those lines. I was like, "MEH! Whatever. I don't want to know anymore." And that was the point where I really got all grumpy and was like whatever, go to sleep. Then he said OK. And he was about to say something, but I sort of cut in saying "bye" but like, I didn't know he was going to say something. I thought he was going to say 'bye' so I was like bye. So then he didn't even carry on with his sentence [whatever he was going to say] and said "bye" and then hung up. I was like :O so shocked! He hung up on me just like that!


I was soo annoyed for the whole night. Then I decided to get R to call me up so I can somewhat, forget about this problem and relax, talk about this H situtation and all. But R didn't get my [FB] message until later on.


Before this whole 'argument' he had told me to text him when I got home and was going to sleep [as I was at R's coz it was late and needed a ride home from my sister]. I was like OK. So then, after the argument. I was thinking, whether or not I should text him. So I ended up texting him at 12.25am, saying, "I'm home now. Bedtime. Good night. Enjoy work." I don't know. Like, did that sound a bit harsh or ... "hearltess"??


But for the whole night, I felt so.. Unhappy?/annoyed? Yet "regretful". Why? Coz somehow, I felt so childish. For like, not repeating the question. Acting immature and like suddenly get all grumpy on him. But it's not my fault... [Is it?] I mean, whenever he goes all serious-tone/talk on me, all my mood suddenly disappears. It's like ARRGH! Kills the mood entirely. Also, I felt that, I shouldn't be so hard on him, since it was getting late and he should be getting his good night's sleep, since he had work early in the morning tomorrow. Yet, I was being an immature little girl....


Feeling annoyed was mainly him forgetting what I/we were talking about. I feel so bad, yet annoyed... I have been thinking all of last night, whether I should reply his FB messages that we always send to each other when he's not in PN, and whether or not I should text him the next day after he texts he back from the message that I sent him last night. But in the end, I didn't text him back... And he had apologized over text, telling me to forgive him. And even now, I haven't replied... I don't know why... I just somehow.. Don't feel like talking to him..


Like, I miss him. Yes. And this is the first time that we have had a fight over the phone, where we are not able to see each other like the previous times where we had our "fights/arguments". So yeah.. Don't know. I think we're both wrong. But me mainly.. Coz I've been so childish.. I think I should apologize... Soon.... He's getting very worried about me and all...


I'm sorry Honey....

His Mum

So on Friday afternoon, he called me. And then during our conversation, his mother called and asked if he could drive her to her daughter [his sisters] work place, so she could deliever her some lunch. He said OK.

When they were in the car, K decided to pass the phone to his mum, and she ended up talking to me for about 5-10mins. It was quite nerve-racking. Though it was nice talking to her. She told me that she was delievering lunch to her daughter, that microwaved foods are bad for your health, asked what I was doing now and how long I had left at Uni, She thought that I couldn't speak Chinese, told me that K can't read Chinese, and how she made him but he kept saying 'Yeah, later' I was like, "Haha." And yeah.. Stuff like that.

I was reallllyyyyy nervous!!! like arrggh! Soo nervous that I had to think about what to say, and what I was about to say, just in case I sounded a tad impolite or said something wrong. Like OOSSHH! So scary and nervous!

Now he wants me to go meet his dad and have a conversation with him. And I was like, "Nooo! I already told you that I don't know how to talk to adults!!!" But he keeps insisting.. Sigh... I guess anything for my boyfriend.. My beloved boyfriend.. Well I will TRY having a good conversation with his dad/mum when I do see them face-to-face at some point.. Sigh. Scary!!

My/Our Love

It was soo tragic last night when I realized that I had "lost" my ring. The ring that me and K had ro "represent" our love for each other. And I had LOST it! Like oh my God! I was freaking out -again! I searched my bag, from top to bottom, inside and out. I was like going crazy!!!! Then... I decided to tell him that I had lost it..

He was really calm when I told him [via text] although he was working at the same time, he still made time to calm me down and telling me to not worry about it too much and that it will appear out of nowhere tomorrow. I was like, "What if it doesn't appear?? What if I never find it?" :( He said that he will buy me another one when he comes back in November or he'll get one in Auckland. I was like, "NOOO! I want it now! I want to wear it now!!" I really did want to wear it. It means a lot to me that ring..

He is just so sweet and amazing. I love him so much. I can't believe how calm he was. He said that he would've been mad at me if I had purposely lost it. But it was only an accident, so he won't be that angry. I was like, "Aww! Of course it's an accident!" I'm not going to throw away our love. He told me it didn't matter, it was only a ring, it can be replaced. But if my heart wasn't there [for him], it cannot be replaced. I was like AWW! Honey!! I love you soo much! I will never leave you! My heart is yours and yours only!! :))

The whole night, I was totally unhappy about it. And felt so bad losing it. I knew he would be unhappy about it. That's why I was quite scared telling him. I thought he would go nuts at me. But I had to tell him.

Eventually, I found it at my parents shop in the afternoon [4.30pm]. Where I was working at last night. And took it off coz I didn't want to make it dirty. I was SOO happy and relieved when I found it. And immediately told him I found it! :D

He had called me earlier in the afternoon, for a chat. And he told me that, he did feel a bit unhappy when he had heard that I had lost the ring. I felt so bad when he said that. But later on, when I told him that I had found it, he was happy and said that he will definitely be unhappy if I lost it again. I was like, I'll try not to lost it again!! x(

Ohh... I love him so much.. And I'm so happy that I have found it and happily wearing it :) I love him so so so so much!

Connection Error

Was soo sad last night when K couldn't call me last night :'( Well he did call me. But that only lasted for like 4mins and then we both got cut off. Man, I was freaking out!! xO I didn't even know what happened. I tried calling him like 10x + and it never got through!! Texted him like 4-5 times and didn't get any reply. I was like Oh my gosh!! What's happening!? Where did my honey go?!! Freaking out - bad time!!

Then my older sister came in and told me that he had told her [via MSN] that there were no connection [coverage] in his area, so he wasn't able to call me again. I was like NOOOO!!!! Can't be!!! I need to talk to my honey!! Or I won't be able to sleep!!! xO

It was so saddening. I started crying. I don't know why, but I did. I just wanted, like really really really wanted to talk to him. Hear his voice and everything. But I couldn't even get through to him. Then the idea of using my phone to go on MSN and FB came into my mind.

I FINALLY managed to get through to him on FB first, then we ended up chatting on MSN. Like *phew* a big sigh of relief came over me. I was so damn relieved that I was able to talk to him, even if it wasn't on the phone. Knowing that he was fine and being able to talk to him before I sleep, was so good. I was able to sleep 'peacefully'. I think, if I didn't get to talk to him on MSN, I wouldn't of slept well and would've been worrying hard out about him :/

Hmm.. I guess I really do love him a lot... xD He told me that this made him realize how much I mean to him and how much he cares for me. He said he literally went nuts and tried everything to get through to me. He even thought of driving [it was like 12am] out and seeing where he could get some coverage so he ccan call me. I was like, 'Aww honey :)' And it was the first time that he ever went nuts like this. Hearing this, made me smile :)

He's just so sweet. He means so much to me :)

♡

Another Girl

Why does he have to be talking about other girls?? Last night on the phone, he randomly bought up that he'd go flirt or something like that with my Korean friend, M, who lives/studies in Auckland. He met her when I was up in Auckland in June. He told me that time, that he thought she was cute coz of the fact that she was so quiet and shy. The way that she talked was quiet [=calm] which made her so cute and stuff like. At that point, we were just friends. So I didn't really mind him saying that, and considering it was me, who asked what he thought about her.

Later on, he tells me that, if we weren't going out, he would've been considering M, and thinking about asking her out and getting to know her and all. I was like, "Oh..." But I didn't take it to heart. But somehow, last night, when he said that he would go find M, coz I wouldn't do something [or something like that], he said he'd go find her, and I said, you don't know where she lives. He goes, "I have my ways of finding out." After that, I some what, felt all upset and sad. I don't know why.. But I just did...

He then realized that I was no longer in a happy mood and apologized for saying that. And that it was only a joke. I was like OK.. I told him to sleep, as it was getting late and he had work early in the morning at 4am. So I didn't want him to be so tired considering it was like nearly 12am. He said he'd call me again tomorrow.

After we hung up, I texted R, coz he texted me about 11.15pm asking if I was still awake, but at that time, I was on the phone with K. So I texted him that and then later on, he called me. And we ended up having a 2hr 2mins talk. The battery on his phone ran out. So we ended the conversation then.

Anyways! So I told R about the situation, coz he asked how me and K were going. I was like, "Meh. The same old." [in Cantonese]. And he was like, "Wow, you don't seem too happy. I thought when girls are dating someone, and get asked that question, they get all excited and say it's good not "The same old" ..." So that's when I told him the situation. He said that it was normal for me to be upset. Considering he did talk about another girl. And saying, who wouldn't be upset in that situation?

I told him, that I don't mind him talking about other girls. As long as it wasn't about [dating/flirting etc.] with my sisters or friends. If it was just a random girl in town or on the streets, then I wouldn't mind. Then R said, "Wow. You have such a good [tolerance] temper/"thoughtful". You're such a good person! You're my idol!" I was like, "Haha. Am I?"

But yeah, anyways, I told him that now that I think about it, I think that I was quite immature/childish just getting upset over such little thing. Considering how unlikely its going to happen [him and M]. But R said that it wasn't immature/childish. It's normal. And that K shouldn't of said such thing.

Later on he asked if k knew that I was talking to him on the phone. I said no. Coz I think we all know that K will be unhappy if he knew. R was like, "That's really sad that you're not allowed to talk to your other [guy] friends.." Then I told him, "Na. Well, if I put myself in his shoes, and he was talking to his [close] female friend all the, like me and you do. I would get quite unhappy and jealous as well. So I understand where he is coming from." He was like, "Hmm..."

So in the end, you could say that, R made me happy again. Although I still think about it. But no matter how much R can make me happy and smile when I'm down, I will still love K. My heart will always belong to him, no matter how much he annoys me, pisses me off, makes me angry or upset at him etc. I will still love him in the end. Coz I know he truly loves me...

Am I stupid.............?

Manager

So it seems that my manager at Valleygirl ain't so bad after all. I mean, yeah, she did give me this vibe where I thought she had something against me or something like that. But working with her on Saturday [and Friday] made me realize, that she really isn't that much of a bad person or holding some sort of "grudge" against me.

I mean, I admit, last week I was a bit cranky and some what, my mood was crap and I was acting all grumpy and all. And I know she wanted me to do some customer service and all. But that time, I was soo not feeling motivated to do anything, let alone talk. So.. Yeah. I guess I can understand why I got that vibe from her.

I need to perk up a little and carry on with my happy work-mode :D I think I got all happy and motivated this week, was all because of K. Having him here, and seeing him, made me extremely happy and motivated to do anything. He's that special I guess :) He is defintely my "charger", like he says :) Love him so much.

I miss him now. Hmm.. And he's working right now.. Miss him.

So yeah, my manager L, isn't that much of a "bad" person after all. She's great. And so is my 2IC, A. She's nice. I love the girls @Valleygirl! And I love my SSM, P as well :) And most of all, the one I love the most, would be my beloved boyfriend, K ♡

He's Gone...

He left this afternoon after seeing me during my lunch break. I was so sad. And I can't believe that this morning, when I woke up at about 9am, thinking that I don't need him to pick me up and take me to work. Coz I thought that if I saw him again, I will miss him so much, that it will effect me at work. So I thought I'd walk there.

But he came and picked me up and even called me up, coz I hadn't texted him back at about 10.32am and at 10.47am. I felt so bad when he told me he was at my place since 10.30am. But glad he had called me up and woken me up too. Coz I had work at 12pm. And needed to get ready and all.

He said that he will try make it and see me on my lunch break. But there were no promises. I was like aww. OK.. He had lunch with his parents while I was working. His mum came back down to PN from Auckland this morning. And he told me that she was hoping/thinking that we were going to pick her up. I was like aww. We could've. But it's OK :)

My Honey also had to go to my grandparents place again. Coz my parents wanted to give them some veges. So K said he could deliver it to them. When he went there, he was still on the phone with me and so I could hear the whole conversation between him and my grandma. He jokingly said to her that I'm a bad girl and that I have another boyfriend in PN. And she went all "crazy" at him saying, "No way! She's not that type of girl! She will only choose you! You are so polite, such a good boy, and so respectful to the elderly!" He was like to me, "You hear that." I was like, "Haha." And smiling at the same time.

I'm so glad my grandparents love him as much as I do. I love him so much. He's such a little cutie. I love him heaps and heaps :) And I miss him so much now. I can't wait to see him again at the end of next month x) It's going to be another lonnnggg wait :/

He's Back!

My Honey is back!! Well actually he has been here since Thursday night. Oh man. Was I damn happy or what to see him that night?! xD Sheesh. I love him so much. As soon as we saw each other, we gave each other a big, long, tight hug! Mmm... I can feel it now.. I love him so much. And I had certainly missed him heaps!

He even worked at my parents shop in place of my mum [she's in HK]. And it was great working with him. I love him. He's just so kind. I mean, it's good to know that he could help. He's so silly. He has to find something to do when he was working with us. Silly boy :)

Tonight, I got to spend the whole night with him, coz mum came back at 5pm. And he went to take her back to work and then come back to town to pick me up :) We went to Steak Out and he ordered this Eye Fillet thing. And I ordered a Fish Fillet. It was a nice dinner. Was going to have dessert. But like, sheesh. got so full and couldn't stuff anymore in haha.

We went to his house later on, to get his laptop and hard drive so he could get some shows/dramas/movies from my dad. And to also show me wearing his shirt. Like one of those 'business' type shirts. It was a black with thin white stripes. He looked amazing with it on. I loved it. And hugging him while he was wearing it, was like, aww gosh! Hotness! Haha.

Then... We started doing stuff. Haha. Then we eventually went back to my place and he got his dramas and all from dad and he showed me this [cantonese] movie called, "Break Up Club" and he showed me this sad bit and I had my head on his shoulder, and it felt good. But watching that sad bit was just so saddening. In a way, after watching it, I felt so sad and somehow, felt that he might be leaving me. I just suddenly came down with this sadness and felt so down. Especially when he had to leave.

Maybe I felt like that, is coz when he left, he didn't really seem like, he ... Hmm.. How do you say it.. Seemed like it didn't matter to him [that the fact that he was leaving] so I felt that he didn't care about me. I felt sad. And seeing him leave and having his back turned to me, walking away, just made me even sadder.

But.. I know I'll be fine. Hopefully...

"Lying"

Last night I was talking to R on the phone from like 11.34pm - 1.55am. And during that time, K was working. And since I needed someone to talk to, coz H had FB-ed me about stupid stuff. I had already FB-ed R about it. And he attempted to call me. But I was busy on the phone with K when he was on his break so he couldn't get through.

After the call with K, I texted R and asked him what he called me for. Then within like 5 seconds, he called me and we talked for like 2hrs 20mins. BUT! K said that he would call me around 12.45am if i hadn't texted him to say that I was going to sleep. But he ended up calling me about 1.10am. So I had to put R on hold for a while until K's break was over.

When he asked me what I was doing and if I was watching drama or FB-ing. I was like, "No." He asked if he had woken me up. I was like, "No.." He then asked what was I doing then? I was like "Erm.. Nothing.. Talking?" He was like, "To?" And I was like, "Erm.. You....?" He was like, "No. I mean before I called you." I was like "Erm.. Uh..." Then he asked, "So what were you doing then?" I was like, "Erm.. So! Are you on your break now? How long is your break?" And he was like, "Honey! Don't change the topic! Answer my question!" Then I was like, "Naww... How about you answer me first?" He said, "OK. Yes. I'm on my toilet break. So it will only be for a couple of minutes. Now you answer my question." I was like, 'Aww..."

I tried changing the topic. I didn't want to tell him that I was talking to R.. Coz you know, R is his biggest threat and knowing that I was talking to him at that time of the night. I think he would've gone all mental at me... So I had to "lie" to him.. I didn't realize that I had lied to him until R pointed it out when I told him.. Sigh. But yeah, in the end, I told him that I was sleeping :/

Hmm.. I guess K would've figured that I was lying to him. Coz I texted him after I got off the phone with R and he [K] texted back saying that he thought that I was asleep. And Asked if I was lying to him. I was like *GULP* Scary K mode! O___O! But yeah, I decided to ignore that text haha!

SIGH.... I think I will eventually end up telling him that I was on the phone with R last night.. I don't want to keep it from him and yeah... Just doesn't feel right.. And obviously, don't want him to get the wrong idea!!!!! x

Mommy

Aww! My mommy has left us this morning to catch the train to Auckland. Aww I miss her already :( She's going to HK on Suunday afternoon for a week. She'll be back on Friday but won't get back to PN till Saturday evening. Sigh. I miss her.

Now us four kids are stuck with dad. Not that we hate him or anything. Just that he can be quite hard to communicate with sometimes. And he can be quite scary sometimes... Most of the times? And we may end up having all these arguments coz he just doesn't understand us. He's stuck with his morals and ancient ways.. But hopefully, we'll be all good. No arguments and all while mum has gone for the week! :S

I wish mommy a safe trip there and back. And hope she has fun while in Auckland and HK. It's about time my mommy had a trip where she relaxed and didn't have to stress and worry so much.

I love you mom!!! And I miss you!!!

❤

Work

Somehow, it seems that my manager, L, at Valleygirl, doesn't seem to like me that much... At the moment? I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking too much. Coz yesterday when I walked into work she was like to P, our Senior Store Manager [SSM] and said in a surprised toned or shocked [I don't know which one], "Is Q working today?!" And I just kept walking and pretended not to hear that.

I mean I may of been a bit grumpy on Wednesday when I was working. I don't know why. But it could've been the fact that it was the [primary & secondary] school holidays and it got real busy at work and I gto stressed with all the put backs. But yeah. She asked if I was OK. Coz I seemed a bit grumpy. Then later on, she asked me to improve on my customer service coz she had been watching me the whole time and hadn't seen any coming from. So that added more pressure to me. SO yeah..

Today when I walked in, to see if the top that my mom wanted to buy and could wear when she goes to HK tomorrow [for a week]. When I walked in, L saw me and said in a low voice to P, "What is she doing here?" And I was just like, oh my God. Like can't I walk in the store without a reason or something? Like what the hell is her problem??

Right now, I don't really want to work with her aye. I prefer working with our 2IC [2nd in charge], A, even though she can be more demanding in ways of getting our jobs done. But she's quite nice and doesn't give you that much of a pressure I guess. But then again, A and L are like good friends. So if L doesn't like me.. Then A might start picking on me too? Well I hope not.

All I know at the moment is, the other Sales Assistant [SA], M, who started working at the same time as me, is pretty cool, nice and eay to communicate with. And with our SSM. She's very nice and kind. I like her. And never have doubted her kindness. She seems to always look out for me. I like her :)