His Ex-Girlfriend. Part 2

We were on the phone this afternoon. And he told me that I his ex-girlfriend is similar to me.. Oh my gosh... But our attitude is a bit different. He said that she is more considerate of [his] feelings more than I am. And the fact that I always talk back to him and she wouldn't/doesn't [when they were together]. Also, I don't listen to the things that he tell me to do/not to do [whereas she would]. And that I'm not that considerate. Only sometimes. Like :O

I was like, "Oh ok.. So now it's like I'm getting compared to her aye?" And he sort of got defensive and said, "No. Of course not." But somehow, that just made me think more. I mean, yeah I know, I told him that if he talked about his ex-girlfriend's I wouldn't mind and I told him that I would definitely not get jealous or think negative when he tells me stuff about them. But this time, I seriously cannot help but to think negative... In a way..

I said, that he must've gotten over her [his 3rd ex-girlfriend. Apparently his most memorable and best relationship ever] by now coz he had another 2 girlfriends after her. Then he had to just.. Say that he realized that the other two weren't as good as the 3rd one, so he broke it off with them. Or they broke off with him in the end. I don't know whether they knew about this. But I found it really sad..

I mean, now that I know that I am "similar" to her and all. And that he somewhat compares me to her. It's like, 'oh sorry.. I'm just not good enough for you, like she was aye?' But yeah. I just didn't want to say any of this to him... I don't want him to get all worried-mode on me. I want him to keep telling me things about her. I don't know. Now it sounds like I'm comparing myself to her... :/

Later on, I felt like asking him, why they broke up. But then I thought it would be random just asking him after like 3hrs later. So yeah.. When he called me later on at night, I really, really, really(!!) wanted to ask him, but I just couldn't seem to bring out the courage to ask him... He did say that, that relationship was the best he's ever had and all the memories of that relationship is the most clearest and painful at the same time. So... Then again, I don't have the heart to dig out the sad side [breaking up] of his most memorable relationship... But I really do want to know..

Oh it's really bothering me. Although I know that they won't get back together, as she has gone back to China, a couple of weeks ago. But they still keep in touch. I really think that this:

If ex's can still be friends, they are either:
1. Still in love.
OR
2. They never were [in love].

Is true. I think that he is still in love with her [But I don't think she has those feelings for him, maybe??]. Maybe not as much. But I know he still has those feelings for her.. And I guess that is what's killing me inside... Slowly...

And I keep thinking/comparing myself to her. Like, trying to be more considerate of him -and others! I don't know. I'm going crazy!!! @O@