Too Good To Be True

My little sister and her boyfriend, B is starting to have some problems. Not that he notices that or anything. But yeah. She has been quite unhappy lately coz of him. And I feel really sorry for her :(

She says that he doesn't put her in first place and that he always put his uni work and his other extra-curriculum activities before her. She said she understands that his school work is important but she doesn't feel that he needs to be so "paranoid" about his extra-curriculum activity(s). He never seems to make time for her. But instead, he only talks/texts/calls her when he has nothing to do. Like you could say that she is a "time-filler" for him.

He doesn't realize this, is maybe because it's his first relationship, he doesn't watch anything that has got to do with love in it. He is a gamer, so love isn't in that equation. He doesn't know how to show his love and care for that 'someone special'. I understand that is hard.

She just wants him to make more time for her, and like me, wants him to text her back ASAP. But it seems like it's even harder for him. He says that he is 'trying to be a good boyfriend' but my sis really does not seem to feel it. Even I, cannot feel it.

Today, she even asked/told me that she is considering about breaking up with him and whether she should or not. I was totally shocked. But in a way, you could see that day coming. Even though she loves him a lot. And he probably does too. But he just doesn't know how to show it. When she sees me and my boyfriend together, or sees/knows the things that my boyfriend does for or to me, she feels jealous that her boyfriend doesn't do that kind for stuff for her. She says that my boyfriend even puts me into his future [regardless of whether we do get married and all[, but with B, he doesn't even say a thing or mention a thing about it. Not even a bit of hope that he thinks about her or having her in his future. She feels really sad about that.

I asked her, she really should think about this. Coz not only is she not able to see him until end of November [he studies in Auckland University] and breaking up over the phone is totally wrong. And people will obviously think she is plain mean. And asked her if she would feel jealous or totally unhappy if she saw him with another girl. She said, "Yeah. Of course. But I'll get over it." I was like, "It's not the matter of being able to get over it. Coz obviously you'll get over it. It's just the pain you'd get when you see/hear that he's got a new girlfriend." She was like, "Hmm..."

So yeah. She ended up bursting into tears when she explained to me how she felt and all. I was like, 'Aww!' But there was nothing I could do. Besides telling her to tell him exactly how she felt and what she wanted/did not want and what she like/did not like about him. I mean, at least, in the end, when things really go downhill, she can at least say that she has already told him or hinted towards him the things she wanted from him.

When I think about myself in my own situation. I think about how happy me and K are together. And sometimes I think that my FIRST real, proper relationship, has turned out to be this good. I have a loving, caring and considerate boyfriend. Who puts me in first place and does sweet and romantic things for me and at the same time, does nice things for my siblings and parents. He's just a perfect boyfriend [minus the height haha] but really, he is the most greatest boyfriend any girl could have. I couldn't ask for more [besides getting him to text me back faster].

I think about whether our relationship can really last long, not that I don't want it to. But isn't this kind of "dream" like, too good to be true?? Like, my older sister, she broke up with her boyfriend #1 and I'm guessing [but hope not] that my younger sister will break up with her first real boyfriend too... I mean, it seems like I'm the only one -right now. With a proper, happy, 'too good to be true' relationship. Like, my relationship seems like it could last until I die. But can it really?

I know that I don't have to follow their "foot steps" in love and all. But this is just seriously too hard to believe when you think about it, right? And from the start of us [me & K] meeting as friends, I have NEVER thought about him becoming my boyfriend. I had NEVER considered him to be my boyfriend and that I'd end up being together with him. But in the end, here I am, his girlfriend.

It's amazing what fate brings to us. I really do hope that my relationship with K last forever until the day we both die. I love him a lot and I think about him and put him into my future as well. I don't want it to end.............

Mr Emo

So yeah, we're back to the friend who is constantly emo. So recently, he texted me, and asked me how I was and saying that he was hoping to hear from me and a simple "I'm fine thanks" would do. And that he only wants to have a simple conversation. The rest can wait for later in life and that he will be waiting for my reply if I'm willing to reply him.

I didn't text him back, coz mainly, I didn't want to waste my texts on him and so I decided to FB him instead. I did tell R and K about this. R said that I should go for it [replying him] but K said that if the conversation goes any deeper or longer, he may end up being emo again and then I'd get all upset coz of him. So in the end... I Fb-ed him. I just said that "I'm fine thanks. What about you? And a simple coversation would be nice."

According to my older sister, she said that H got all nervous and all when he saw that I had replied him and got all paranoid about it. Saying what if it's the last reply that he ever gets from me. And all that stuff. She and I was like like oh my gosh. Just open it!

So he replied saying, "Me? Don't ask. If you wanna know, ask your sister. She knows everything." And after reading that, I was like, "PSSH! Well sorryyyy! Just too cool, aren't cha?" Like, from my point of view, he just suddenly sounded just too cool for me. Like too cool to even associate with me. But I know, deep down he's still "hurt" or whatever but he's trying to sound like he's OK but at the same time hinting that he's not OK coz he's telling me to ask my sister about him/his feelings/how he is. Which I don't need to, coz my sister told me allll that, way before he texted me. But it's not like I'd ask her even if she hadn't told me.

I didn't reply to his message. Then yesterday, he FB-ed me again. And asking me what I have been up to. And that he has been talking to S and that she said that she misses me. And then he said something about being behind in his assignments, due to "um.. reasons" And I was like, "Pssh. What are you trying to hint? You want me to ask you what those reasons are or what?" But obviously, I didn't say that. I haven't even replied him yet. I kinda forgot to last night.

But whatever. R said that maybe I am thinking too much into this situation [what H is saying] but I think that is definitely what he is trying to hint or imply. But I don't know.. I should reply him aye? I haven't even told K about the result of me replying to H's text.. He never asked and I never bought it up. So yeah... Only R knows about this situation really. Oh and my sister of course.

Should I Tell Him?

Last night, K asked me if there were any guys were chasing me at the moment. And I was like "Erm. No? Not really?" He was like, "OOOH. That means a yes."

To be honest, I wouldn't say there is a guy chasing me. Coz I'm not actually certain that, that guy is going for me...

That guy would be one of my friends, ex-boyfriend. He's called L. And he's like Cambodian or something. And he's just really dodgy in a way and he's creepy [to me and S & Y anyways]. He's also pretty cheap as well. Coz he said that for my friend [his ex-girlfriend] he would get her coke for her birthday. We were all like, 'Oh my gosh! Is he serious?!" But it seemed like he was.

Later on, the broke up and she moved on to another couple of guys. And he was back to his lonely self I guess. And he disappeared for a while.

Until recently, he started talking to me on this other social-networking website called, BEBO. And that was before I started using FB. So I haven't actually been on that site in ages unless I get notifications via email.

So yeah, he just started talking to me. Asking me how I am and that he sort of misses me. And I was just like WHAT?! That is totally weird. Considering I don't even know him that well and we've only seen each other like less than 10 times. And have hardly talked before.

Then he gives me his number, asking me to text him and to maybe meet up with him some time. And I was like, yeah sure. One day. Coz I'm busy these days.

He then adds me on FB! And I was like Oh my Gosh! NOOOO!! So yeah, I haven't actually accepted his request yet.. So yeah. Still thinking about it.

So the point is, I don't know whether I should tell K this or not. But for sure, I have told my best friend S. She knows all about it and is the only one who knows about it. Besides Y, although she hardly goes on FB or replies.

Yeah. So like, should I tell K or na? I mean, he may think I'm over analyzing the whole situation OR he may get jealous. So um. I don't know aye. Maybe I'd end up telling him eventually...

Seems Like He's Not Giving Up

So I had a chat with R last night. Seeing as he randomly called me and K wasn't able to call me last night coz he was working. We talked for like 2hrs 1mins and 3 seconds [haha]. It was indeed a very good conversation. I mean you could say that we hadn't talked like that in ages. So it was good to be able to catch up, even though we had been talking through FB.

He told me that he was going to go for me after he found a job. And by the sounds of it, he doesn't seem to care that I have a boyfriend or not. He's always like, mentioning that "In the future" or "When we go out, I think that..." And you know, it's sort of like, 'Don't you realize that I have a boyfriend right now or something??" But you know, I can't stop him from saying all those things.

I mean I know that he cares for me a lot and all and "LOVES" me. But still. He needs to respect that the fact that I have a boyfriend too. And can't pretend that my boyfriend is invisible... He says that k is the type to get jealous easily. It's true I guess. But then you got to think about the previous relationships that he had before. And the fact that it was him that got hurt in all those relationships that he had. So.. I guess I can't really blame him for being so over-protective or getting jealous easily..

He said that he liked me in March. And that he didn't realize that he ACTUALLY 'love' me until he found out that me and K are going out. And I was like 'Oh...' At that point. I seriously don't know what to say.

Although, it was very nice of him to always be to straight-forward and honest with me. With everything really. But like, it seems like, he still is determined to make me his girlfriend/wife. He said that he when we go out on a date, he promises that he will make it very touching for me. And I asked him why would he do such thing? And he said, "Well you wouldn't want a date to not be touching or romantic, do you?" And I was like, "Well.. True.. But I never said or agreed to go on a date with you..." He was like, "Haha. I don't care."

So yeah.. He apparently does love or like me. So.. I don't know how to bring this up to K... I know he has this really... Big... Bad/negative impression of R. But he should really not take it to heart... And I know that R is a very big threat to K. But sometimes, I think that K needs that kind of threat, to make him care for me more or.. Like show that he cares.

I mean, I don't need K to shower me with gifts and all. But I just want him to be there. Like text me back ASAP. Coz when I text R back, he replies within 5 seconds. It's like WHOA. But it's nice in a way. I mean yeah I know that R doesn't have much to do everyday. But still.. It would be nice if K could make that kind of effort..

Either way, I don't know what else R has in mind to do for/to me. So.. Um.. Yeah... Hopefully k won't be too jealous. Coz there is no way that I am ending or ruining my friendship with R coz of him. I mean, R is a good friend. It's hard to find someone like him [as a friend] I just don't seem to see the 'boyfriend material' side of him or get that feel from him. So K shouldn't really worry too much about me moving on to him [R]. So yeah...

I don't know.

Need Him There For Me...

Yesterday in the late afternoon/early evening, about 5pm, my whole body felt really weird. Like it felt really.. "tingly" Whenever I touch something cold, like a cold surface or something, it makes me/my skin tingle and it's really... Not a nice feeling. And at the same time, I felt like my body was about to collapse. It was really painful. At the same time, I had to go work at my parents' shop. So it was even more painful. Considering how much of a "happy face" I had to put on to not show that I was in pain in front of the customers.

But the thing was, I wanted to tell K, But he was busy working, and so I didn't want him to worry about me after he read the text and had to go back to work after his break or whatever. Coz I didn't want him to be thinking about me, whether I was OK or not. So I thought it was best not to tell him yet.

Then he finished work about 8pm. And he said that he didn't have to work over time coz the night before he said that he may have to. By then, I was majorly in pain, and I even had to take a little nap. Ijust felt really queasy... Dizzy and just totally unwell. Like I was totally smashed inside -and out, with the tingly feeling. My back started to hurt a lot. I was like, in soo much pain. I could barely move. I was thinking of telling K. But it took him like, an hour to reply each of my texts.. So I thought, 'Why bother?' So I didn't.

But in the end, I told him, just before he called me. And then he asked me, if I blamed him for being a bad boyfriend and that he wasn't there when I needed him. And if I was angry/mad/upset that he wasn't there and that he didn't reply. I was like "No. Of course not. I know you're busy. So yeah."

To be honest, I DID want him to be there for me when I needed him the most. When I needed someone to care and listen to me express my pain and all, regardless of whether they could help me out or not. But he wasn't there when I needed him. Although I understood that he had work. But it was AFTER work that I felt, that he wasn't there for me... But I don't blame him. Coz he didn't even know that I was suffering from bad body pains and a very sore back. So I can't blame him or be too upset at him for that.

Although he said that if I had told him, he would've texted me back faster to see how I was going and all. But then when you think about it, it's like, so that means, if I wasn't in pain or sick or whatever, he wouldn't even bother texting me back until like, an hour or more?

I don't know. Maybe I am asking for too much... I don't know. I just want to see his texts. That's all I need to make my day and make me happy. But.. I guess it can be very hard even though it's not a very hard thing to do... Sigh. I don't know... All I know right now is that, I just want him to be there when I need him the most... But it will be hard I guess. Considering how far apart we live away from each other :(

His Ex-Girlfriend

He showed me a picture of his ex-girlfriend yesterday, over the phone [3G/video calling] and like... I remember him telling me that she looked like me. But I seriously do not see the resemblance...

OK. So yes. Maybe there were a couple of things where you could say that we "looked similar". Such as the fact that she wears glasses too and the fact that her face was round like mine. But I think her one was more rounder. I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm wayy better than her. But it's the honest truth. Like... To be honest, I don't want to sound nasty or anything... But I think I look way better than her.

I mean... Come on... How can he say that I look like her. It's ridiculous! D: And uh. In the first photo that he showed me of her, she kind of looked like a man... So I asked him for a better photo of her. He was like, "Oh my God. You seriously want to see another photo of her?" I was like, "Yes..."

So the other photo was better, but honestly, she was quite umm.. How do u say it nicely.. uh. Big? Or maybe it was just the clothing that she was wearing. Coz she was wearing a big puffy jacket. But I don't know.

To be honest, I thought he would have better tastet than that. I thought she'd be quite hot... If not, at least pretty decent, good-looking.. But no... And he said that she was the one that he loved the most out of the 5 girls that he dated. Like, Oh you serious? But I gotta see photos of the other girls to "judge" the one I have seen already.

But oh well. Now he's got me. So it doesn't matter. I guess... :)

No Matter What Happens...

No matter what happens, if I see his face, everything seems to be all better... No matter how sad, upset, stressed etc. Just seeing his face, It totally makes me feel happier and forget everything that was unhappy or making me unhappy in my mind.

I guess that is one thing that I love about him.

I sort of hinted/told him [indirectly] about how I was feeling last night. About how when I'm down, I want him to be there for me. And just to text me or comfort me. But in a way... He didn't get it. But I guess it's totally understandable, considering, I wasn't very direct all. He said that he hopes/wishes that he could be right there by my side when I am down. But I told him that wasn't the point. I don't need him to be right there by my side to comfort me.

I understand that we are very far apart right now. And all I ask from his, is to text me back as soon as possible [ASAP]. And to call me/talk to me everyday or night. Just seeing his text, makes me happy. It's enough o make my day. I hate having to wait HOURS for his texts. It's so painful in a way.. Just waiting to hear from someone that you really love...

But seeing him last night [even over the phone] was enough to make me feel better and that I knew that he truly loved me and me only. Made me feel much much better. I love seeing him. Seeing him makes me feel so happy. I don't know why. But it makes me feels so relaxed and relieved...

He said that, if I didn't want him to do something, or wanted him to do something. And if I didn't like or like him doing, I should tell him. And the thing that I really want him to do is, to text me back ASAP. But like, I have already told him that plenty of times. And he has said that he would try. But ... I can't keep telling him. Coz I don't want to give him pressure to check his phone every second.. But he said that is what he wants from me. To tell him what he should/shouldn't do. And to control him. I don't want to control him like that. He has his own freedom and his own life. I don't want to be a control freak... I don't want people around him OR me to think that I am a very controlling girlfriend...

I hope he will understand how I feel one day. All I ask for is for him to text me back ASAP. Is it really that hard to ask for............?