Yesterday in the late afternoon/early evening, about 5pm, my whole body felt really weird. Like it felt really.. "tingly" Whenever I touch something cold, like a cold surface or something, it makes me/my skin tingle and it's really... Not a nice feeling. And at the same time, I felt like my body was about to collapse. It was really painful. At the same time, I had to go work at my parents' shop. So it was even more painful. Considering how much of a "happy face" I had to put on to not show that I was in pain in front of the customers.
But the thing was, I wanted to tell K, But he was busy working, and so I didn't want him to worry about me after he read the text and had to go back to work after his break or whatever. Coz I didn't want him to be thinking about me, whether I was OK or not. So I thought it was best not to tell him yet.
Then he finished work about 8pm. And he said that he didn't have to work over time coz the night before he said that he may have to. By then, I was majorly in pain, and I even had to take a little nap. Ijust felt really queasy... Dizzy and just totally unwell. Like I was totally smashed inside -and out, with the tingly feeling. My back started to hurt a lot. I was like, in soo much pain. I could barely move. I was thinking of telling K. But it took him like, an hour to reply each of my texts.. So I thought, 'Why bother?' So I didn't.
But in the end, I told him, just before he called me. And then he asked me, if I blamed him for being a bad boyfriend and that he wasn't there when I needed him. And if I was angry/mad/upset that he wasn't there and that he didn't reply. I was like "No. Of course not. I know you're busy. So yeah."
To be honest, I DID want him to be there for me when I needed him the most. When I needed someone to care and listen to me express my pain and all, regardless of whether they could help me out or not. But he wasn't there when I needed him. Although I understood that he had work. But it was AFTER work that I felt, that he wasn't there for me... But I don't blame him. Coz he didn't even know that I was suffering from bad body pains and a very sore back. So I can't blame him or be too upset at him for that.
Although he said that if I had told him, he would've texted me back faster to see how I was going and all. But then when you think about it, it's like, so that means, if I wasn't in pain or sick or whatever, he wouldn't even bother texting me back until like, an hour or more?
I don't know. Maybe I am asking for too much... I don't know. I just want to see his texts. That's all I need to make my day and make me happy. But.. I guess it can be very hard even though it's not a very hard thing to do... Sigh. I don't know... All I know right now is that, I just want him to be there when I need him the most... But it will be hard I guess. Considering how far apart we live away from each other :(
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