Letting Go?

Recently, I am missing my boyfriend ever sooo much! I don't know why, But I do. I think about him like literally 24/7 and like need to know what he has been up to and all. And wishing that he was right here with me.

I miss him so much that sometimes, it gets so 'painful' that I start to think, whether I should let go of this relationship or not... It's so hard for me. I know it would be hard for him also. But sometimes, I think to myself, I just cannot take this any longer. I want my boyfriend to be with me, live in the same city as me, just so I can see and spend time with him whenever he is free or when I'm free.

But that fact is, we can't. And that's the thing that I'm missing out on the most in my first relationship. Everything is perfect for me in this relationship. Everything besides this distance that we have between us. Although we text and talk on the phone everyday, I still feel this distance that we are so far apart from each other and it's so hard to be able to see each other for a long time.

I don't want to give up this perfect relationship. Especially not with K. I love him so much. I just cannot force myself to let go of such a good guy like him. If I do, I know I will truly regret for the rest of my life. I just wish that time will fly past quickly. So then I will finally be able to graduate, then be able to move up to Auckland and live with him. I miss him so much.

It's like I want to spend every second of my life with him. I don't know whether I will get sick of him, but I'm sure I will at one point. But in the end, I will still love him and go back to him, just like I do with my siblings and parents. Finding them annoying. Wish I could get away from them, and when times pass, and they're not with you anymore, you feel so lonely and need to go back to them and all. If you know what I mean :)

But this long-distance relationship is REALLY REALLY HARD! I don't know why it has to be me that has to be in this long-distance relationship. It's so hard and painful. There are many times where I wish I hadn't gone into this relationship or even just letting go of this relationship. In the end, I cannot force myself to do that.. I love him so much. Hearing his voice and recieving his text messages mean the world to me at the moment, considering how far we are apart from each other. I miss him a lot