I miss him so much... I really want to see him. I want to be with him right now. I want him..... *sigh* Why is it so hard to see him? Yeah yeah... I know it's a stupid question. If only he worked at the PN airport then I'd be able to see him when he gets his days off. Instead of having to wait months to be able to see him again... I'm so sad. I want him so much. I want to hug him..But I can't :( So sad.
He said he'd surprise me. When I said that I wanted to see him last night (via text).He said that he might be outside my house right now. I soo wished he was. So he said he'd surprise me and that he wants to see me. And telling me to be prepared to get surprised. I really hope he comes back down to PN soon. Maybe next month? Hopefully? I mean. I know it'll cost him a lot of petrol to come to PN and then back to Auckland. But I guess its worth it though I feel bad coz he has to waste so much money on that.
I feel that we really have grown closer. I mean, I've meet pretty much his whole family. HIs parents and his sister. And he has meet my grandparents and my cousins and my aunty and uncle. Just hasn't really met my parents. He's only seen them. But he's seen all my sisters and have met them (but have not really met my younger sis) but he knows of her and my brother.
And considering that my grandma has blurted out a lot of our family "problems" while we visited her. He knows a lot about us and all. So I guess, you can say, he's part of the family now! Haha! But mum didn't like it when I tol dher that grandma said all that even when K was around.She really does worry a lot huh?
I WANT HIM!!! I WANT TO SEE HIM!!! I WANT TO HUG HIM!!!
To me now, seeing hot guys around or hangingout with my other guy friends, means nothing to me. Like, I won't give them the wrong idea, like I'd usually would (apparently...) and that hanging out with them to me is really JUST friends. And that I won't think about them that way or even give them that chance. Coz all I want is K. He's the apple of my eye. And right now, NO ONE can replace him!!
I know that my friend Y may not really like him, but I don't care. It's me liking him, not her. I accept him for who he is. Whether he's short, chubby, tall, fat, good looking or average. All I want is him and for him to love me as much as I love him.
I went onto his FB last night. And I saw this video that he had posted. It was a song titled [越长大越孤单] which literally translate to "lonelier as I grow up" or "lonelier as growing up" but either way, I heard this song in his car, and I guess it got to me, coz of the fact that now I knew what the song is talking about. Coz the song is in mandarin and I don't undertand that. I feel so .. I don't know. Sad? That he feels that way. And coz of the fact that I can't help him when he's upset or feeling sad or stressed.
I want to be there for him when he needs that somebody to be by his side and listen to his sorrows or happiness. Just everything. I want to be the one he turns to whether he is happy or sad. And obviously, I want him to be the one who I turn to when I'm happy or sad.
I don't want anyone BUT him! I keep reminising about the times when we were together in Auckland and every moment that we spent together and the times where he'd just hold me tight. All the fun times we had together. I really miss all that. I wish I could see him VERY soon. I want to be with him. He's everything to me.
I want to text him, but I know he is busy at work. All I want is to talk to him everyday if I can. So that our "bond" doesn't break or get distanced again. I want to stay close to him. Want to be the first person that's on his mind and the last person on his mind at the end of the day.
He told me once that I was impotant to him. I asked him who were his top 3 people that he cared about the most,.And he replied with, "My parents and you." I was like awww!! You're so sweet! It totally made me smile. Whether he meant it or not. I don't care. It made me smile. I like him sooo much. I guess Ifall deeper and deeper when he says something sweet like that.
But the thing is, I've been told, considering I have rejected so many guys and so many guys like me, when it's MY turn to fall for a guy so deep that I cannot get out (or something), it would be MY turn to get hurt badly by the guy that I love sooo much (obviously hurt emotionally not physically haha). But I really hope that, that person, will not be K, the one to hurt me. I believe he won't... Coz he has certainly captured me and my heart all in one. And yes... I'm turning into such a cheesy talker now. Haha. And that's all because of him! Haha!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
He feels the same?
(Yes. Another entry)
I don't know. But I think K feels the same way as me too. Coz this morning at 10.17am he texted me from work saying that, I better wake up and get ready or I will miss my flight and that he misses me already and telling me to take care and that he always love me. I was like AWWW!! It like totally got to me!! His sweetness just gets to me like that. After I told him that I was at the airport, and I miss him too and that I'd text him again when I arrive in PN and of course, that I love him too. When I did arrive in PN, I texted him. Coz he's the only person on my mind. I told him I had arrived in PN and that I hope to see him soon and that I love him. Then he texted me after work @ 2.15pm saying that it was good so that he can stop worrying. And said that 'hopefully that you will always love me.' And I was like awww! And obviously told him I'd always love him.
He texted back saying that he's home and that it's not the same without me. And that he's going to take nap and would text me when he wakes up. And that said, maybe I wished to go back to him and sleep with him and do "interesting" things with him. And said he loved me again. I laughed. I just didn't know what to say coz he was so sweet. But I wanted to say something to show that ... I like him?
He's just so sweet. I want to be with him. I want to hug him again. Aww... I feel so cold and lonely without him by my side :( All I hope for now is that, we keep texting each other and that we won't lose this closeness again and that he won't find another girl... I want to see him!!!! ARGGGH!! He needs to ask me out as soon as possible :D haha. Sounds like I want him to propose to me haha. I want him!!! Arggh! He's all mine!!! >O< hands off! Haha.
I don't care whether he is short or the fact that he is the same height as me! OR whether it means that I shouldn't wear high heels around him. Or that he is a tad "fat/chubby." I don't care. Though I see that he HAS lost some weight. Either way, I have accpeted him for who he is. I like him. ALL MINE!!! Hehehe.
I don't know. But I think K feels the same way as me too. Coz this morning at 10.17am he texted me from work saying that, I better wake up and get ready or I will miss my flight and that he misses me already and telling me to take care and that he always love me. I was like AWWW!! It like totally got to me!! His sweetness just gets to me like that. After I told him that I was at the airport, and I miss him too and that I'd text him again when I arrive in PN and of course, that I love him too. When I did arrive in PN, I texted him. Coz he's the only person on my mind. I told him I had arrived in PN and that I hope to see him soon and that I love him. Then he texted me after work @ 2.15pm saying that it was good so that he can stop worrying. And said that 'hopefully that you will always love me.' And I was like awww! And obviously told him I'd always love him.
He texted back saying that he's home and that it's not the same without me. And that he's going to take nap and would text me when he wakes up. And that said, maybe I wished to go back to him and sleep with him and do "interesting" things with him. And said he loved me again. I laughed. I just didn't know what to say coz he was so sweet. But I wanted to say something to show that ... I like him?
He's just so sweet. I want to be with him. I want to hug him again. Aww... I feel so cold and lonely without him by my side :( All I hope for now is that, we keep texting each other and that we won't lose this closeness again and that he won't find another girl... I want to see him!!!! ARGGGH!! He needs to ask me out as soon as possible :D haha. Sounds like I want him to propose to me haha. I want him!!! Arggh! He's all mine!!! >O< hands off! Haha.
I don't care whether he is short or the fact that he is the same height as me! OR whether it means that I shouldn't wear high heels around him. Or that he is a tad "fat/chubby." I don't care. Though I see that he HAS lost some weight. Either way, I have accpeted him for who he is. I like him. ALL MINE!!! Hehehe.
Decision Made
I just came back from Auckland. Went there with my BFF, S and K, who drove us up. Was such a good trip. Arrived in Auckland, had so much fun, from catching up with out friends and hanging out with them and my cousins and shopping and going to Mission Bay (a beach). It was the time of our/my life!! And the best thing besides all that, was spending time with K.
Thinking about him gets me all happy and high. Makes me smile from the bottom of my heart.Makes me feel like a little girl that has just fallen in love or something. He makes me feel giddy (haha). I like him soo much. Spending so much time with him has made me realize, that I do like him more than just a friend or that I'm going through another one of my "guy phases". I can tell this is different to all those "guy phases" that I have, coz I know that he, is the one I want to be with. And I know that if I ever hear or see him with another girl in his arms, I would be very very jealous and upset.
I think about like pretty much every second of the day. I mean yeah, that may sound a tad TOO much and weird. But he's all I have on my mind right now. Maybe.... He does like me too? Coz when we spent time in Auckland, he did what he did when we were in Wellington. Like, putting his arms around me and like holding me close to him. It felt gooooood... haha. Every time that we are alone, he does that. Like pulls me close to him and whispers in my ear or he just sort of make an excuse saying that isn't it what I dream of having him hold me close when it's cold and all? I love him for that. He's just so sweet.
He drove me and my other friends all around Auckland, like everywhere that we wanted to go, he'd take us without hesitating, like a lot of other people would. I mean, with just that, I love him for it. He even came with me to my grandparents place -twice! and had a good conversation with him. It was so sweet of him. I like the way how he respects my grandparents and has a conversation with them and make them 'love' him. Like giving them good impression of him to them. He's awesome like that.
It was really embarassing as well as *squeal* when my grandpa asked if K was my boyfriend, like I wanted to say yes. But obviously I couldn't, coz of the fact that he isn't!! ahaha. Then grandpa asked again, and I obviously said no again. But he was like, maybe it's just the start of the relationship aye? And I just smiled. I mean, we sat together on the couch, so close to each other, while grandma and grandpa was talking to us/me. It did feel like we were a couple. It was such a great feeling :) And the funny but cute thing is, that last night, the night before I left Auckland, we went to visit her before one last time before I went off to PN, grandma was telling K to come over anytime to just have a chat with them or anything (like eat or whatever). It was so cute. It's like my grandma loves him already *big smile* But then later on when I asked him whether he was gonna go and visit my grandparents one day, he was like "No. Only when you're here." I was like, "Why?" He said, "Coz it'll be random if I dropped in and said 'Hi! I'm gonna stay for dinner tonight!'" I laughed.
My grandparents think he is a smart boy, coz he works at the Auckland airport and like he's just plain awesome (haha). It was so sweet and cute when he denied he was smart. Hehe. And yeah, my grandma pretty much told him my whole life story about when I was a kid and what I was like and what kind of person I am. It was like oh my gosh. Shame. But aww. coz K gets to know something about me that no other guy knows. And he IS the first guy that has ever met my grandparents! And love him already! Haha. I feel so special and lucky.
So last night, me, S, K, R, Y and M went out for dinner for the last time while we were in Auckland. We went to this Japanese restaurant called, Daikoku, and they ordered warm/hot sake, and I didn't realize that it was that strong and taking one sip got me all hot and my face burning and I felt dizzy and started to feel sleepy. (Coz I'm a sleepy drunk). And then I took a second sip, and that was when I practically wanted to drop down and sleep. Everyone was so worried about me, but I soo did now want to make this huge scene.
K told me he was worried about me. I was so touched. And obviously my BFF, S was too. She was there for me. Let me put my head on her shoulder while I sleep for a bit and recover. But in the end, I recovered. Though I still felt a bit sleepy, but not as much as I was before.
When K took me and S home last night (my cousin's place), I got to spend some alone time with him outside. I wanted to giv him something, but I didn't know what. And since my grandparents both gave me $50 each, I gave him $50 for the petrol that he used on me and taking me ad my friends around. But he wouldn't accept it. It took me a longggg time to get him to stop refusing and let me put it in his pocket. But before I could put it in his pocket, he pulled me in for a hug. It was like aww. And we just sort of kept "arguing" over the fact that he should take the money but he doesn't want to.
At one point he stopped resisting and we just settled in for the hug and kept talking about whether I had fun in Auckland and how he was worried about me when I got a tad tipsy/drunk.Then my cousin, A came out to say goodbye to me coz I won't be able to see her tomorrow coz she has her course to go to. So she came out to say goodbye and we hugged. When she came out, K didn't like instantly let go of me like when they saw someone -like a family member or friend, and they'd let go of me like a lot of the other guys I had this "phase" with. He just kept hugging me until she came over. She was like, "I'm not trying to intrude on you guys, but yeah. Just wanted to say goodbye... etc." It was sort of embarrassing having your cousi to see you like that. But oh well. Kevin doesn't mind. HEE! After she went back inside, we carried on with our hug. It was like aww. So warm and I wanted to stay like that forever, though I felt that he was shaking coz it was a cold night. But hugging him was so warm for me. Maybe it's coz I'm not big enough towarm him up... haha.
We hugged and talked. I asked him when I was able to see him again, he said, not sure, maybe July or August. I was like, aw. I hope I don't have to wait for like 5 months to see you again. And he's like na. I was relieved. I wanted to see him as soon as he could come back down to PN. He has work at 4am the next morning and said he wasn't planning to sleep. And it was like 11.30pm. Or something? I told him that I'd miss him and couldn't wait for hm to come back to PN again. He was like, "There's something called 3G, you know?" And I was like, "Yeah... But i costs." He was like, "just go onto that plan." I was like, "That BestMate plan?" He's like yeah. And I was like OK and smiled.
Funny thing was, when we hugged, he kept touching my butt (haha). Then he was like, "You really do have a nice ass." And I laughed and said thanks. He kept saying it though -not lik every second. More like.. said it once or 4 times? And said that it felt good and didn't want to let go.Then he was like sorry, but it's true. I was like haha thanks *smile* and said, "You only like me for my ass?" haha. But like, he's the first guy to ever make a move by touching my butt and giving me a compliment. It was different but at the same time, I didn't mind him doing so. All I know was that I wanted to hug and stay with him like that forever. He has his own different smell. Like no perfume kind of stuff. Just him. It was good just being able to smell him and putting a bit of my lips on his bare neck and smelling him. (Man, I sound like so... Pervertic and creepy haha). But I loved it.
Then my other cousin, I and my BFF, S came out, and S was like, "we're not checking up on you guys or anything, but I need to give you some petrol money." And gave him $20. That's when he remembered the $50 that I gave him. So then I had to go back to making him take both the $50 and $20. He said that he doesn't need the money now andto give him the money when he needs it. Or that we should treat him lunch when he comes back down to PN. And we were like, "Na, Petrol costs way more than lunch." Then he was like, "No, petrol doesn't cost that much." Then goes to my cousin, and asks her, "You drive aye? Petrol doesn't cost that much aye?" And she was like, "No. It costs a lot." And he was like "Ohh. You were suppose to be on my side!" And we all laughed and made him accept it. But he still wouldn't.
So I went to the other side of his car and went to that erm... thing you pull out (haha), storage thing? Coz that's where he puts his wallet (he doesn't use a wallet. He has this metal case thing for his cards), and he tried locking his doors from the drivers side and he failed to (ahhaahha!!) so I managed to put the money in his wallet and said, the money will be there when he needs it. And that's when, it was finally time for us to say our goodbyes for real. I was so sad.
But then again, when my cousin and S came out, he thought it was my aunty, and even THEN! He didn't pull me away. Even though I told him it wasn't my aunty but he kept saying it was, he still kept on hugging me and said in a joking way, that I'd have to explain to them (aunty and uncle) about our hugging situtation as well as then having to explain to my parents. I didn't care. I just wanted him. But it turned out to be my cousin and S.
When we walked in the house, S was like, from a distance. You guys look like you were in a kissing position. I laughed and told her there were no kissing involved. Hugging only. She was like, "Oh, it jus looked like it." I just smiled and wish it was.. haha.
*Sigggghhhh* I'm off in my own litle world ... haha. I have made mu decision. I want K and he's all I want. I'm not gonna regret going out with him coz some other hot guy suddenly walks into my life. Well at least I hope not. I hope we don't lose our communication and our closeness that we had built during all those days that we spent together just building on that closeness.
I miss him so much right now.
Thinking about him gets me all happy and high. Makes me smile from the bottom of my heart.Makes me feel like a little girl that has just fallen in love or something. He makes me feel giddy (haha). I like him soo much. Spending so much time with him has made me realize, that I do like him more than just a friend or that I'm going through another one of my "guy phases". I can tell this is different to all those "guy phases" that I have, coz I know that he, is the one I want to be with. And I know that if I ever hear or see him with another girl in his arms, I would be very very jealous and upset.
I think about like pretty much every second of the day. I mean yeah, that may sound a tad TOO much and weird. But he's all I have on my mind right now. Maybe.... He does like me too? Coz when we spent time in Auckland, he did what he did when we were in Wellington. Like, putting his arms around me and like holding me close to him. It felt gooooood... haha. Every time that we are alone, he does that. Like pulls me close to him and whispers in my ear or he just sort of make an excuse saying that isn't it what I dream of having him hold me close when it's cold and all? I love him for that. He's just so sweet.
He drove me and my other friends all around Auckland, like everywhere that we wanted to go, he'd take us without hesitating, like a lot of other people would. I mean, with just that, I love him for it. He even came with me to my grandparents place -twice! and had a good conversation with him. It was so sweet of him. I like the way how he respects my grandparents and has a conversation with them and make them 'love' him. Like giving them good impression of him to them. He's awesome like that.
It was really embarassing as well as *squeal* when my grandpa asked if K was my boyfriend, like I wanted to say yes. But obviously I couldn't, coz of the fact that he isn't!! ahaha. Then grandpa asked again, and I obviously said no again. But he was like, maybe it's just the start of the relationship aye? And I just smiled. I mean, we sat together on the couch, so close to each other, while grandma and grandpa was talking to us/me. It did feel like we were a couple. It was such a great feeling :) And the funny but cute thing is, that last night, the night before I left Auckland, we went to visit her before one last time before I went off to PN, grandma was telling K to come over anytime to just have a chat with them or anything (like eat or whatever). It was so cute. It's like my grandma loves him already *big smile* But then later on when I asked him whether he was gonna go and visit my grandparents one day, he was like "No. Only when you're here." I was like, "Why?" He said, "Coz it'll be random if I dropped in and said 'Hi! I'm gonna stay for dinner tonight!'" I laughed.
My grandparents think he is a smart boy, coz he works at the Auckland airport and like he's just plain awesome (haha). It was so sweet and cute when he denied he was smart. Hehe. And yeah, my grandma pretty much told him my whole life story about when I was a kid and what I was like and what kind of person I am. It was like oh my gosh. Shame. But aww. coz K gets to know something about me that no other guy knows. And he IS the first guy that has ever met my grandparents! And love him already! Haha. I feel so special and lucky.
So last night, me, S, K, R, Y and M went out for dinner for the last time while we were in Auckland. We went to this Japanese restaurant called, Daikoku, and they ordered warm/hot sake, and I didn't realize that it was that strong and taking one sip got me all hot and my face burning and I felt dizzy and started to feel sleepy. (Coz I'm a sleepy drunk). And then I took a second sip, and that was when I practically wanted to drop down and sleep. Everyone was so worried about me, but I soo did now want to make this huge scene.
K told me he was worried about me. I was so touched. And obviously my BFF, S was too. She was there for me. Let me put my head on her shoulder while I sleep for a bit and recover. But in the end, I recovered. Though I still felt a bit sleepy, but not as much as I was before.
When K took me and S home last night (my cousin's place), I got to spend some alone time with him outside. I wanted to giv him something, but I didn't know what. And since my grandparents both gave me $50 each, I gave him $50 for the petrol that he used on me and taking me ad my friends around. But he wouldn't accept it. It took me a longggg time to get him to stop refusing and let me put it in his pocket. But before I could put it in his pocket, he pulled me in for a hug. It was like aww. And we just sort of kept "arguing" over the fact that he should take the money but he doesn't want to.
At one point he stopped resisting and we just settled in for the hug and kept talking about whether I had fun in Auckland and how he was worried about me when I got a tad tipsy/drunk.Then my cousin, A came out to say goodbye to me coz I won't be able to see her tomorrow coz she has her course to go to. So she came out to say goodbye and we hugged. When she came out, K didn't like instantly let go of me like when they saw someone -like a family member or friend, and they'd let go of me like a lot of the other guys I had this "phase" with. He just kept hugging me until she came over. She was like, "I'm not trying to intrude on you guys, but yeah. Just wanted to say goodbye... etc." It was sort of embarrassing having your cousi to see you like that. But oh well. Kevin doesn't mind. HEE! After she went back inside, we carried on with our hug. It was like aww. So warm and I wanted to stay like that forever, though I felt that he was shaking coz it was a cold night. But hugging him was so warm for me. Maybe it's coz I'm not big enough towarm him up... haha.
We hugged and talked. I asked him when I was able to see him again, he said, not sure, maybe July or August. I was like, aw. I hope I don't have to wait for like 5 months to see you again. And he's like na. I was relieved. I wanted to see him as soon as he could come back down to PN. He has work at 4am the next morning and said he wasn't planning to sleep. And it was like 11.30pm. Or something? I told him that I'd miss him and couldn't wait for hm to come back to PN again. He was like, "There's something called 3G, you know?" And I was like, "Yeah... But i costs." He was like, "just go onto that plan." I was like, "That BestMate plan?" He's like yeah. And I was like OK and smiled.
Funny thing was, when we hugged, he kept touching my butt (haha). Then he was like, "You really do have a nice ass." And I laughed and said thanks. He kept saying it though -not lik every second. More like.. said it once or 4 times? And said that it felt good and didn't want to let go.Then he was like sorry, but it's true. I was like haha thanks *smile* and said, "You only like me for my ass?" haha. But like, he's the first guy to ever make a move by touching my butt and giving me a compliment. It was different but at the same time, I didn't mind him doing so. All I know was that I wanted to hug and stay with him like that forever. He has his own different smell. Like no perfume kind of stuff. Just him. It was good just being able to smell him and putting a bit of my lips on his bare neck and smelling him. (Man, I sound like so... Pervertic and creepy haha). But I loved it.
Then my other cousin, I and my BFF, S came out, and S was like, "we're not checking up on you guys or anything, but I need to give you some petrol money." And gave him $20. That's when he remembered the $50 that I gave him. So then I had to go back to making him take both the $50 and $20. He said that he doesn't need the money now andto give him the money when he needs it. Or that we should treat him lunch when he comes back down to PN. And we were like, "Na, Petrol costs way more than lunch." Then he was like, "No, petrol doesn't cost that much." Then goes to my cousin, and asks her, "You drive aye? Petrol doesn't cost that much aye?" And she was like, "No. It costs a lot." And he was like "Ohh. You were suppose to be on my side!" And we all laughed and made him accept it. But he still wouldn't.
So I went to the other side of his car and went to that erm... thing you pull out (haha), storage thing? Coz that's where he puts his wallet (he doesn't use a wallet. He has this metal case thing for his cards), and he tried locking his doors from the drivers side and he failed to (ahhaahha!!) so I managed to put the money in his wallet and said, the money will be there when he needs it. And that's when, it was finally time for us to say our goodbyes for real. I was so sad.
But then again, when my cousin and S came out, he thought it was my aunty, and even THEN! He didn't pull me away. Even though I told him it wasn't my aunty but he kept saying it was, he still kept on hugging me and said in a joking way, that I'd have to explain to them (aunty and uncle) about our hugging situtation as well as then having to explain to my parents. I didn't care. I just wanted him. But it turned out to be my cousin and S.
When we walked in the house, S was like, from a distance. You guys look like you were in a kissing position. I laughed and told her there were no kissing involved. Hugging only. She was like, "Oh, it jus looked like it." I just smiled and wish it was.. haha.
*Sigggghhhh* I'm off in my own litle world ... haha. I have made mu decision. I want K and he's all I want. I'm not gonna regret going out with him coz some other hot guy suddenly walks into my life. Well at least I hope not. I hope we don't lose our communication and our closeness that we had built during all those days that we spent together just building on that closeness.
I miss him so much right now.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Apple of my Eye
I think I have totally fallen for him. Well maybe not totally. But like, I haven't felt this way about someone for a veryyyyyy long time.I really like him. So maybe I can't really say that I "love" him. Coz I think that may be a bit too strong for now.
Like, everything that he texts me, seems to have some sort of "hidden" meaning to it. Like, it makes me feel like he really does care about me (and prehaps, like me). Or maybe it's just that he's like this to all the girls that he knows? Like show his caring side to them? I don't know aye.... All I know so far is that I don't think I will tell him until he says something about it first. As usual. I don't like to tell somebody that Iike them first. Coz it's embarrassing if I got rejected. Though it will be embarrassing for the guy who says it too.
Like, everything that he texts me, seems to have some sort of "hidden" meaning to it. Like, it makes me feel like he really does care about me (and prehaps, like me). Or maybe it's just that he's like this to all the girls that he knows? Like show his caring side to them? I don't know aye.... All I know so far is that I don't think I will tell him until he says something about it first. As usual. I don't like to tell somebody that Iike them first. Coz it's embarrassing if I got rejected. Though it will be embarrassing for the guy who says it too.
Friday, June 18, 2010
What I see
And to add, what do I actually see in him? Well. I had a very big thinking session yesterday. (Well, maybe not that big, just occasionally when I had nothing to do and was zoning out -as usual).
I have 'realized' that what I actually like about K is NOT the fact that he has a car and can go driving me around. Coz even if I do go out with him, he doesn't live in PN, so it wouldn't affect me anyways, whether he has a car or not. He can only drive me around when he's here in PN or if I'm in Auckland and he's not working. So that's not a reason wy I like him.
I like him because fo who he is. I mean, he's sweet, kind and is romantic. A lot of girls love that. I mean, there are some bad thing/points about him. Like his height... We're like practically the same height. But according to him, I'm taller than him by a bit. When I wear heels, it'd be sooo obvious that I'm taller than him and would look weird in a way. But then again, I guess if I loved him for who he was, I'd accept that. And right now, I don't mind it. Though sometimes I do. And another thing.. I know he's not the most good-looking guy out there. But then again, what's the point in finding a handsome guy to be your boyfriend? He's just gonna get snatched away by some other girl or that you're gonna be having some serious competition with the other girls out there.
So! I guess I like him for who he is. Not for what advantages I can get out of him.
I have 'realized' that what I actually like about K is NOT the fact that he has a car and can go driving me around. Coz even if I do go out with him, he doesn't live in PN, so it wouldn't affect me anyways, whether he has a car or not. He can only drive me around when he's here in PN or if I'm in Auckland and he's not working. So that's not a reason wy I like him.
I like him because fo who he is. I mean, he's sweet, kind and is romantic. A lot of girls love that. I mean, there are some bad thing/points about him. Like his height... We're like practically the same height. But according to him, I'm taller than him by a bit. When I wear heels, it'd be sooo obvious that I'm taller than him and would look weird in a way. But then again, I guess if I loved him for who he was, I'd accept that. And right now, I don't mind it. Though sometimes I do. And another thing.. I know he's not the most good-looking guy out there. But then again, what's the point in finding a handsome guy to be your boyfriend? He's just gonna get snatched away by some other girl or that you're gonna be having some serious competition with the other girls out there.
So! I guess I like him for who he is. Not for what advantages I can get out of him.
Does he?
I'd like to know whether he feels the same for me. I mean, last night, we were texting and I said that "Oh. Seems like you know me better than I know myself hahaha." Then he replies saying, "Haha. Maybe I notice you more that anyone else. Or you can alsi say that I care more than you that anyone else. Don't force me to say anymore, or the trust will come out. Haha. Sorry I had too much to dtink. Hahaha." I mean yeah, it sorta doesn't make any sense, but we get what it means, right? I mean, he suppose to say, "...I care more about you than anyone else" and "...or the truth will come out" not "trust". So. I dunno. Does he like me too or did he just say it out of the blue coz he was drinking and probably wasn't thinking straight?
After a few texts, he said that he was going to sleep (it was likev 12.05am), and said good night to me and all. I replied saying that I hope he sleeps well. Good night and sweet dreams. Then for the second time, he says, "Thanks Q. Love you." and I just replied back with..... "Love you too." I mean was that wrong to say? I do like him though. I have thought about it.. I mean, if he doesn't like me that way and has that other girl that he likes in Auckland, why is he talking to me like that? And don't tell me he is pretending that I am her and hoping that he could say all that stuff to her... It better not be. But if not... What other reasons are there? He likes me too? I dunno about that. He's tipsy? But he's a strong drinker. Pretending I am her? Hmm. Probably. Arrgh! he's giving me mixed signals!!!! @__@ I don't like that *sniff*
Oh so many possibilities. He's so nice to me. Like yesterday, I forgot to bring my assignment to uni and he happened to txt me a couple of minutes or so later. And I was planning to take the bus home and back or leave it till tomorrow. But when I told him my situation, he offered to drive me home and back to uni. I mean, I thought T was the only one that would actually do that. Coz I know that he likes me and all. And he's a good friend, coz quite a few times, he thought that I had a boyfriend, but was still willing to help me out and talk to me like normal friends. Coz usually, when a guy finds out or knows that a girl is taken, they usually back off a bit, keep a distance from you, coz they don't want to stir up any trouble between him and the boyfriend. So yeah. That's what I want in friends. And I guess you could say, because of that, I don't really want a boyfriend yet. Coz I want to be close to all my guy friends and not have any of them feel that just coz I'm taken, it means that we should hang out less.
Anyways! Going a bit off topic here (haha). So, what I'd like to know is, whether K feels the same for me too. Coz of all that stuff that he said to me. Well texted me. I think I will keep all those texts for a while... Haha. Man I'm weird. Soon, we will be travelling up to Auckland (with my BFF, S). So, I can't wait and hope that I get some alone time with him when I'm up there in Auckland! :) And at the same time, being able to hang out with my cousins, relatives and other friends up there.
So... MAYBE our relationship will get a tad bit closer while we are in Auckland? Ahaha. I'm dreaming big, ain't I? haha. But we'll see how it goes. But I still, REALLY REALLY want to know, if he likes me that way too....
After a few texts, he said that he was going to sleep (it was likev 12.05am), and said good night to me and all. I replied saying that I hope he sleeps well. Good night and sweet dreams. Then for the second time, he says, "Thanks Q. Love you." and I just replied back with..... "Love you too." I mean was that wrong to say? I do like him though. I have thought about it.. I mean, if he doesn't like me that way and has that other girl that he likes in Auckland, why is he talking to me like that? And don't tell me he is pretending that I am her and hoping that he could say all that stuff to her... It better not be. But if not... What other reasons are there? He likes me too? I dunno about that. He's tipsy? But he's a strong drinker. Pretending I am her? Hmm. Probably. Arrgh! he's giving me mixed signals!!!! @__@ I don't like that *sniff*
Oh so many possibilities. He's so nice to me. Like yesterday, I forgot to bring my assignment to uni and he happened to txt me a couple of minutes or so later. And I was planning to take the bus home and back or leave it till tomorrow. But when I told him my situation, he offered to drive me home and back to uni. I mean, I thought T was the only one that would actually do that. Coz I know that he likes me and all. And he's a good friend, coz quite a few times, he thought that I had a boyfriend, but was still willing to help me out and talk to me like normal friends. Coz usually, when a guy finds out or knows that a girl is taken, they usually back off a bit, keep a distance from you, coz they don't want to stir up any trouble between him and the boyfriend. So yeah. That's what I want in friends. And I guess you could say, because of that, I don't really want a boyfriend yet. Coz I want to be close to all my guy friends and not have any of them feel that just coz I'm taken, it means that we should hang out less.
Anyways! Going a bit off topic here (haha). So, what I'd like to know is, whether K feels the same for me too. Coz of all that stuff that he said to me. Well texted me. I think I will keep all those texts for a while... Haha. Man I'm weird. Soon, we will be travelling up to Auckland (with my BFF, S). So, I can't wait and hope that I get some alone time with him when I'm up there in Auckland! :) And at the same time, being able to hang out with my cousins, relatives and other friends up there.
So... MAYBE our relationship will get a tad bit closer while we are in Auckland? Ahaha. I'm dreaming big, ain't I? haha. But we'll see how it goes. But I still, REALLY REALLY want to know, if he likes me that way too....
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Just Can't....
It seems like I cannot let go of K right now... I mean, whenever there is a chance to go see him, I totally go for it, whether I'm only going to see him for like a couple hours or whether it would be more than that.
I think about him all the time. I don't know whether it's because I like him, due to the fact that he has a car and can like drive me around and all whenever I need or want him to. But... I know I think about him a lot, and wish and hope for him to text me.
Maybe after my trip to Auckland and we sort of stop communicating, I will start to forget about those feelings that I have for him. I mean, we still do text when he's back up in Auckland. But just not as often as we would text when he's down here in PN for a holiday. I guess that's how we get closer and also how we grow further apart when he's back in Auckland.
But then again, I don't know why I'm still thinking about him, when yet I know that he likes (or well at least that's what I think) someone else?? I mean, yesterday he asked me where to get those paper for folding those little stars. He like bought quite a lot. I don't know whether he is telling the truth about, he's buying it so he can fold it when he's bored. Or whether he is folding all thsoe stars for a girl. The girl that he likes.
I mean, yeah, they are only stars. But that's not the point. I mean, a guy going through all that time to go fold you that many stars. Not only does it take time, it also takes patience and money. So, for a guy to go through all that, is hard to see/have.
I guess that's what I'm annoyed about. Him folding that many stars for some other girl... But then again, he is quite a romantic person. Something that a lot of girls like.
I seriously don't know what I see in him. I mean, he's short and I know he doesn't mind the fact that he's short. He's not that good looking compared to HI. But I think it's the person inside him that I like. Though sometimes, he looks or gives off that impression that he doesn't care about you at all. But I don't know whether that's how he is or what. I know that he is caring at times. Like that night when we were in Wellington, he kept asking if I was cold and all and lent me his jacket.
I want to see him all the time. OK. Maybe not all the time, just whenever I can. Coz I don't think I'm that obsessed with him yet (haha) so yeah. I dress up for him (like dress nicely - nothing dirty alright??!) although.. I think I do that to every guy anyways, but the sad thing is, if I wear high heels around K, I'm like literally taller than him. And that's something I don't like. He says he doesn't mind. But I do. I don't like it when a guy is shorter than me -friend or not. But when I don't wear heels, I guess we're about the same height, or either one of us are taller than the other.
Well, soon i get to go to Auckland with him and spend some time with him. Although my best friend, S is coming along with me/us. I would LOVE to spend some alone and quality time with K, but then again, when we are alone, like just us two, it CAN get a tad awkward, coz we don't have that much to say after a while. So then again, I guess it's alright if we don't get some time alone together.
But I know for sure, I'll have fun with alone or not alone with him! :)
I think about him all the time. I don't know whether it's because I like him, due to the fact that he has a car and can like drive me around and all whenever I need or want him to. But... I know I think about him a lot, and wish and hope for him to text me.
Maybe after my trip to Auckland and we sort of stop communicating, I will start to forget about those feelings that I have for him. I mean, we still do text when he's back up in Auckland. But just not as often as we would text when he's down here in PN for a holiday. I guess that's how we get closer and also how we grow further apart when he's back in Auckland.
But then again, I don't know why I'm still thinking about him, when yet I know that he likes (or well at least that's what I think) someone else?? I mean, yesterday he asked me where to get those paper for folding those little stars. He like bought quite a lot. I don't know whether he is telling the truth about, he's buying it so he can fold it when he's bored. Or whether he is folding all thsoe stars for a girl. The girl that he likes.
I mean, yeah, they are only stars. But that's not the point. I mean, a guy going through all that time to go fold you that many stars. Not only does it take time, it also takes patience and money. So, for a guy to go through all that, is hard to see/have.
I guess that's what I'm annoyed about. Him folding that many stars for some other girl... But then again, he is quite a romantic person. Something that a lot of girls like.
I seriously don't know what I see in him. I mean, he's short and I know he doesn't mind the fact that he's short. He's not that good looking compared to HI. But I think it's the person inside him that I like. Though sometimes, he looks or gives off that impression that he doesn't care about you at all. But I don't know whether that's how he is or what. I know that he is caring at times. Like that night when we were in Wellington, he kept asking if I was cold and all and lent me his jacket.
I want to see him all the time. OK. Maybe not all the time, just whenever I can. Coz I don't think I'm that obsessed with him yet (haha) so yeah. I dress up for him (like dress nicely - nothing dirty alright??!) although.. I think I do that to every guy anyways, but the sad thing is, if I wear high heels around K, I'm like literally taller than him. And that's something I don't like. He says he doesn't mind. But I do. I don't like it when a guy is shorter than me -friend or not. But when I don't wear heels, I guess we're about the same height, or either one of us are taller than the other.
Well, soon i get to go to Auckland with him and spend some time with him. Although my best friend, S is coming along with me/us. I would LOVE to spend some alone and quality time with K, but then again, when we are alone, like just us two, it CAN get a tad awkward, coz we don't have that much to say after a while. So then again, I guess it's alright if we don't get some time alone together.
But I know for sure, I'll have fun with alone or not alone with him! :)
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