Just Can't....

It seems like I cannot let go of K right now... I mean, whenever there is a chance to go see him, I totally go for it, whether I'm only going to see him for like a couple hours or whether it would be more than that.

I think about him all the time. I don't know whether it's because I like him, due to the fact that he has a car and can like drive me around and all whenever I need or want him to. But... I know I think about him a lot, and wish and hope for him to text me.

Maybe after my trip to Auckland and we sort of stop communicating, I will start to forget about those feelings that I have for him. I mean, we still do text when he's back up in Auckland. But just not as often as we would text when he's down here in PN for a holiday. I guess that's how we get closer and also how we grow further apart when he's back in Auckland.

But then again, I don't know why I'm still thinking about him, when yet I know that he likes (or well at least that's what I think) someone else?? I mean, yesterday he asked me where to get those paper for folding those little stars. He like bought quite a lot. I don't know whether he is telling the truth about, he's buying it so he can fold it when he's bored. Or whether he is folding all thsoe stars for a girl. The girl that he likes.

I mean, yeah, they are only stars. But that's not the point. I mean, a guy going through all that time to go fold you that many stars. Not only does it take time, it also takes patience and money. So, for a guy to go through all that, is hard to see/have.

I guess that's what I'm annoyed about. Him folding that many stars for some other girl... But then again, he is quite a romantic person. Something that a lot of girls like.

I seriously don't know what I see in him. I mean, he's short and I know he doesn't mind the fact that he's short. He's not that good looking compared to HI. But I think it's the person inside him that I like. Though sometimes, he looks or gives off that impression that he doesn't care about you at all. But I don't know whether that's how he is or what. I know that he is caring at times. Like that night when we were in Wellington, he kept asking if I was cold and all and lent me his jacket.

I want to see him all the time. OK. Maybe not all the time, just whenever I can. Coz I don't think I'm that obsessed with him yet (haha) so yeah. I dress up for him (like dress nicely - nothing dirty alright??!) although.. I think I do that to every guy anyways, but the sad thing is, if I wear high heels around K, I'm like literally taller than him. And that's something I don't like. He says he doesn't mind. But I do. I don't like it when a guy is shorter than me -friend or not. But when I don't wear heels, I guess we're about the same height, or either one of us are taller than the other.

Well, soon i get to go to Auckland with him and spend some time with him. Although my best friend, S is coming along with me/us. I would LOVE to spend some alone and quality time with K, but then again, when we are alone, like just us two, it CAN get a tad awkward, coz we don't have that much to say after a while. So then again, I guess it's alright if we don't get some time alone together.

But I know for sure, I'll have fun with alone or not alone with him! :)