I miss him so much... I really want to see him. I want to be with him right now. I want him..... *sigh* Why is it so hard to see him? Yeah yeah... I know it's a stupid question. If only he worked at the PN airport then I'd be able to see him when he gets his days off. Instead of having to wait months to be able to see him again... I'm so sad. I want him so much. I want to hug him..But I can't :( So sad.
He said he'd surprise me. When I said that I wanted to see him last night (via text).He said that he might be outside my house right now. I soo wished he was. So he said he'd surprise me and that he wants to see me. And telling me to be prepared to get surprised. I really hope he comes back down to PN soon. Maybe next month? Hopefully? I mean. I know it'll cost him a lot of petrol to come to PN and then back to Auckland. But I guess its worth it though I feel bad coz he has to waste so much money on that.
I feel that we really have grown closer. I mean, I've meet pretty much his whole family. HIs parents and his sister. And he has meet my grandparents and my cousins and my aunty and uncle. Just hasn't really met my parents. He's only seen them. But he's seen all my sisters and have met them (but have not really met my younger sis) but he knows of her and my brother.
And considering that my grandma has blurted out a lot of our family "problems" while we visited her. He knows a lot about us and all. So I guess, you can say, he's part of the family now! Haha! But mum didn't like it when I tol dher that grandma said all that even when K was around.She really does worry a lot huh?
I WANT HIM!!! I WANT TO SEE HIM!!! I WANT TO HUG HIM!!!
To me now, seeing hot guys around or hangingout with my other guy friends, means nothing to me. Like, I won't give them the wrong idea, like I'd usually would (apparently...) and that hanging out with them to me is really JUST friends. And that I won't think about them that way or even give them that chance. Coz all I want is K. He's the apple of my eye. And right now, NO ONE can replace him!!
I know that my friend Y may not really like him, but I don't care. It's me liking him, not her. I accept him for who he is. Whether he's short, chubby, tall, fat, good looking or average. All I want is him and for him to love me as much as I love him.
I went onto his FB last night. And I saw this video that he had posted. It was a song titled [越长大越孤单] which literally translate to "lonelier as I grow up" or "lonelier as growing up" but either way, I heard this song in his car, and I guess it got to me, coz of the fact that now I knew what the song is talking about. Coz the song is in mandarin and I don't undertand that. I feel so .. I don't know. Sad? That he feels that way. And coz of the fact that I can't help him when he's upset or feeling sad or stressed.
I want to be there for him when he needs that somebody to be by his side and listen to his sorrows or happiness. Just everything. I want to be the one he turns to whether he is happy or sad. And obviously, I want him to be the one who I turn to when I'm happy or sad.
I don't want anyone BUT him! I keep reminising about the times when we were together in Auckland and every moment that we spent together and the times where he'd just hold me tight. All the fun times we had together. I really miss all that. I wish I could see him VERY soon. I want to be with him. He's everything to me.
I want to text him, but I know he is busy at work. All I want is to talk to him everyday if I can. So that our "bond" doesn't break or get distanced again. I want to stay close to him. Want to be the first person that's on his mind and the last person on his mind at the end of the day.
He told me once that I was impotant to him. I asked him who were his top 3 people that he cared about the most,.And he replied with, "My parents and you." I was like awww!! You're so sweet! It totally made me smile. Whether he meant it or not. I don't care. It made me smile. I like him sooo much. I guess Ifall deeper and deeper when he says something sweet like that.
But the thing is, I've been told, considering I have rejected so many guys and so many guys like me, when it's MY turn to fall for a guy so deep that I cannot get out (or something), it would be MY turn to get hurt badly by the guy that I love sooo much (obviously hurt emotionally not physically haha). But I really hope that, that person, will not be K, the one to hurt me. I believe he won't... Coz he has certainly captured me and my heart all in one. And yes... I'm turning into such a cheesy talker now. Haha. And that's all because of him! Haha!
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