Definite Answer

Yep. I have FINALLY decided that I have officially made up my mind. And now my answer is, that I definitely choose K. No matter what happens. I guess I finally realized this last night when I was texting both W and K.

W wanted me to go out clubbing with him [and his mates] last night. And my mom wouldn't let me. Coz my dad would go mental if he knew that I was going out that late and coming home late as well. Coz he thinks that I have class tomorrow. And really, I don't. I just have work @ 2pm. But you know, we don't like being questioned. So it's best not to tell him. Before I told him [W] that I would go. But after asking mom, I had to tell him, Sorry, no. Maybe in the weekends. I felt so bad though he said it was all good and to not worry about it.

Mom said I had to come home before 2am. And you know, W and his mates are like pretty much party-goers and don't go home till like 3-4am. So yeah. And then I told K that I might me going out and he said, if I told you not to stay out too late. And come home before 2am. Would you listen to me? And I was like "OMG! Both you and my mom are telling me the same thing!! Haha."

He said that he honestly preferred it if I don't go out at all [at night of course]. And I was like ass, But I hardly go out at night anyways... Just like once in a lifetime really.. But yeah. I could sense that he really didn't want me to go. And today, he texted me asking me, whether I was going to go out on Saturday night with them [Taiwanese people] and I was like, na. Don't feel like it. He was then like, if what I said last night got to you [affected me] then I'm sorry. I was like, don't worry. It's got nothing to do with what you said to me.

But like, I could feel that he worried about me a lot. He kept asking me whether I'm going to go out and to tell him if I changed my mind about going out.

I think in a way, I MAY have "offended" W, coz I said I'd go, but then like, pretty much the last minute, I said I wasn't going anymore. I felt bad. But... It seems like he took it the hard way and I guess he got a bit annoyed at me(?) I don't know aye.

So with that, I found out, if he really was a friend, he would've accepted or what they say, "respected" my thoughts/requests etc. Instead of just sort of giving me off this vibe of, "Eff you" kind of vibe, you know?

And with K, though it could be due to the fact that he is older and [possibly] more mature, he cares for me and like, sort of... Would be the type to respect my parents and like... Think about them in my place. You know what I mean?

With that, I have realized, though yes, W is better looking, nice, taller and all, doesn't mean he is the right guy for me. I mean, he is still young [like a year older than me] and still likes to go out a lot with his friends [drinking and clubbing etc] and obviously, I am not the type to do so. Mainly coz of my parents "curfew" but otherwise, I think I would be exactly like them, partying, clubbing and drinking every weekend.

But I'm glad that this event happened [last night] coz if it didn't, I wouldn't of realized how much K really cared for me and realize that the person that I really like and am totally sure about, it him. Now I really really want to see him!!! So yes, K is my definite answer, I ain't changing ever again!!!! xD

So Lost...

Oh my gosh... I am getting ever so lost... Confused.. I don't know what I should do anymore..

So today, me and W hung out today. We went out for lunch, coz he owes me lunch [coz of a bet that we made and I won it] and so we went to Sushi House 2 to have lunch at about 1pm, and obviously he paid. And then afterwards, we went to the Uni library so that he could help me with my Chinese assignment. By then, it was about 2pm and I had class at 2pm - 5pm. But I wagged it.. I don't know why.. Besides the fact that I needed help with my assignment. I mean, even by the time that we had finished.. We ended up talking/chatting away till like 3.30pm or 4pm. So we went to town instead, since he wanted to go and check out how much the plane tickets were to Taiwan.

We went to Chokolato at about 4.30pm (I think that's how you spell that name..) to see him friend, the other guy that I met at the same time as him, Jo and this other girl which I met yesterday, Y [Hong Kong]. We sat down for a while and had a chat. Jo said that I was very lucky coz, when he asked W to have lunch with him, he said "Na. Busy." Or something like that. I was like, "Haha... *speechless*"

Hmm.. And then just before 5pm, we went to another [asian] place to check out the tickets. And then we were planning to go home, but my younger sis texted and said meet up in town. So we went to town, and obviously, I introduced him to her. I sorta didn't want to. Coz ... I didn't want the whole world to think that "Ooh! Q's got a new "boyfriend"!! She's ditching K!" [Coz everyone (in my family except dad), thinks that me and K have something going on]. So I wanted to be low-key as possible when around family... But I guess that didn't really work out aye..

So in the end, we decided to go have dinner at his work place, Thai Orchard, coz me and her couldn't decide. We ordered some, Chilli Chicken Fried Rice, deep fried ice-cream [yum!], chicken phad thai and some chicken wings. But before that, I had difficulty choosing over, this chilli chicken fried rice and this.. Spicy Chicken thing [both spicy but this one was just veges] and in the end I chose the fried rice.

He went to order for me. He chatted away to his workmates/friends. I just sat there waiting with my sister. And then, my sister was like, "Is he paying??" I was like, "Huh??! Of course not!" So I went up to the counter where he was, and he had already given them his card and I was like, "What?! I'll pay for it!" And he was like, "Na. You can pay for my dinner tomorrow." I was like aww. Alright then. I mean, it was like $50.50!!! Like WHOA! O___O! I mean, I felt bad having him to pay for both me and my sister!

And not only that, we came home, only to realize there was an EXTRA tray of dish. The chilli chicken [with veges - no rice]. My sister was like, I think he ordered both for you. I was both touched and shocked. Coz both of us were like. "Holy shit! $50.50!! That is so expensive! What did we order?!" And so now we know... I even texted him asking him, if he ordered an extra dish. But he hasn't even replied yet... Oh gee...

He is really such a good guy.. I guess they were right when they told me that, when people are nice to you. It is easy for them to get the wrong idea. Coz I'm nice to everyone, so in the end, a lot of guys end up liking me [more than a friend]. Oh My GOSSSHHH!! I don't know what to doo! Why does he have to be so nice to me?!?! xO

Like... I am soo lost in my own emotions right now. I don't know who to choose anymore.. K or W.. I don't know.. *sigh*

He texted me at like 12.41am last night and I was pretty much falling asleep, but I just happen to hear my phone go off. And then I evetually ended up texting him till 3 in the morning. Man I'm crazy!!! @__@

Yeah.. So now.. All my [love] emotions have all gone hay-wired! And K hasn't texted me tonight.. So.. All I think of/about is W right now.. But I know I shouldn't. Coz not only that he doesn't know that I work in a takeaway [pretty much every night and got to be home before 4pm. Unless I got uni or work @ Valleygirl] and I don't want him to know that I work there all the time...

Why does it have to get this confusing?! :( I thought I had my mind set.. Or maybe.. K is just a bit too late... I don't know.. I don't want to lose him or hurt him.. Or even make our friendship ever so awkward.... Oh dear God. Help me!!

When He Strikes

So like, whenever K texts me, I feel "Ohh-so-happy" and excited. And like at the same time, I feel that he REALLY IS the one that I truly like. But then when W(!!) starts texting me... I suddenly get all confused to whether I really DO like K that much or not... Coz when W texts me, I sorta get excited when I get his texts and all. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. But I am... x(

I really hope that K will come back soon. This is the last week of this month. I am hoping he will come VERY soon indeed... I want to be with him, and him only. I want to know that he is my boyfriend -officially, rather than me pretending that he is my boyfriend so I can tell myself not to like another guy or think of them as a 'potential' boyfriend material! Coz it's bad x(

If I know I have a boyfriend, I know I will certainly will HAVE TO be faithful to him. Coz I wouldn't want him to do anything unfaithful to me behind my back! So yes... Come back soon, K!! I need you!!!

Confusion Over and Over Again...

I don't know why I am feeling this way. And I know it's not right. And yet, I feel like this at some point. It's giving me all sorts of confusion and mixed up feelings. I mean, I don't know if I actually like him or not. But yeah...

That guy would be W. I mean, I have no idea if I actually have feelings for him or not. But like, at times, I think about him and then smile [occasionally] and like whenever I have something that I want to tell someone, the first person would be him, that comes into my mind, instead of K. I mean, I like K, right? So shouldn't I be wanting to tell him everything that is excting or whatever, to him instead??

Then at times, I think about W as a "potential boyfriend" material. I keep thinking about like, how he is so tall [compared to K -coz K is pretty short. Like same height as me. Either a tad shorter or taller than me], and how he [W] is pretty big and knows so many people, how he can drive as well [though his car isn't as flash as K's but oh well] and he is more talkative, has a job [though not as awesome as K's. Haha] and the face that he is actually only a year older than me [not 6 years older than me like K]. Yeah. Stuff like that. I keep comapring him to K. I know it's unfair. But.. I can't help it...

I know I shouldn't be doing or thinking like this. In a way, I think I should stay faithful to K, even though we are not going out yet. But still... I dunno why I feel this way about W. I think I need to stay away from him for a while until K comes back. I need to work out my feelings. I don't want to hurt K if I ended up going out with him [K] and then realize that I DO actually have feelings for W and then break up with him like a couple of months or so later. And that I don't want to miss out a good chance of having such a good boyfriend, though he lives so far away from me.

I need K to come back so Ican sort out my feelings faster. Just like how he came back last month and helped me sort out whether my feelings for H were real or were just 'in the spur of the moment' kind of feelings. And it turns out, they were only 'spur of the moment' feelings. I feel nothing for H. Though K doesn't know that, when he comes back, he helped me realize/figure out my feelings for others [as well as himself also], it's OK. He doesn't need to know. It's just between me, myself and I. I MIGHT tell him, once we go out sometime. But we'll see.

ARRGGH!! Quickly!! Come back to PN!!!!

News Flash

I found out that the person that sent him the private message was some "Anime Group" thing on FB. Man... I got all worried and emo for nothing! Haha.

But then, I found out that T, now has a girlfriend. And even K knows about it. I was like, "Oh, so I'm the only one that doesn't know about this. Hmpfh! FINE! I mean, I wouldn't of known that he had a gilfriend until like... Thursday? I think it was, that I saw him at Sushi House 2, when I was there with my little sister that afternoon. I was pretty shocked but was ike, 'Oh well. At least he is over me. I hope (haha).' But then again, it doesn't really matter to me. I guess I like to know some goss as well. I also think that, T has either a) removed me as a friend on FB or b) he has blocked me on FB. Coz at the moment, he is not on my FB list of friends and like, i just don't see anything from him [on FB]. So yeah.. Dunno what's wrong with him aye. But whatever,.

Ohhh I miss K so much. I wish he was here so that I could.. BE with him!! Haha! And then make T jealous? :D haha. I'm such a freak ahahaha!

Why....?

He [K] asked me on FB [private message] whether I am the type of person to get jealous very easily. And when I read that, I was like... Yeah, Like literally, dot dot dot.... I was thinking to myself, 'Now where did that kind of question come from.....?' *Raise eyebrows* But I replied saying that I wasn't the type to get jealous very easily. But when I do get jealous, I won't show it. He hasn't replied yet. BUt I will check again tonight.

The thing that is getting me all so curious and suddenly I have this uneasy feeling coming onto me... Maybe it's coz of the fact that I logged into his FB account [mainly to play games on it] but I saw that in his [private] messages, there was a notfication, showing that he had two messages. And I knew that one of them would be from me. But then again.. The other one? I am like, curious But I know that I have to respect his privacy.. And not look. I mean, it could be oneof his guy friends and all... But I am just too damn curious now.. Considering the question that he asked me...

ARRGGHH!! I feel the need to know. Like RIGHT. NOW!! I want to know who the other person is, that is sending him a private message!!! If I don't find out.. I think I will not rest in peace [haha].

*Sigh* This is such an uneasy feeling... I wish it would go... But I know it's not gonna go until the day I find out who this person is... Whether it is a girl or a guy... EEK!

It's Him.

So yeah, I have finally decided that the guy that I'm actually gonna choose between W and K is ..... K!!!! Why?

Coz not only have we been through a lot, we have recently starting being so close. And there are all these memories that we have made together. It's too hard to let go and to have him find out that I chose another guy [whom I have just met] over him when he does come back and asks me out.

I have thought about it very clearly. Like day and night. I know that W is a good guy and all. But I just can't seem to put myself out there to go out with a guy whom I just met and not known for long. Not even a month! And the fact that he is P's friend. It would be a tad strange if we were to act all lovey-dovey in-front of her haha.

So yes! My final conclusion is to stick with K. My beloved from the start. It's OK. Me and W will always be good friends. We have just started to get to know each other more. So, there is absloutely no rush. And he does know a lot of girls. Coz that's what P told me haha.

I wish K would hurry up and come back to PN SOON!! He said he's coming back soon. But he won't tell me the exact date. Coz he wants it to be a surprise! But I really really want to know!!! x( ARRGGH! He's keeping me in suspense!! Don't like that! Haha.

But seriously, I can't wait to see him!! I miss him soooo sooo much! I wanna be in his arms again!! :(

He's Got Competition!

As you know, I have recently met a new Taiwanese guy via my SSM, W. And he isn't bad looking and he is extremely nice.

Yesterday afternoon, after work (My last shift @ McDonald's), I happened to see him in The Plaza. And he was planning to get a haircut. Though it took me a while to be able to recognize him, we ended up having a short conversation, and he asked me where I was going. I told him that I was planning to take the bus home. And he was like, I can drive you home. I was like, "Really? It's OK." But he insisted and he said that I should've went out with him and P (my SSM) in the weekend.

I was like, "Na. It was raining and I already had difficulty going home. I had to take the taxi home! Haha" And he was like, "You should've told me! We would've taken you home!" I was like, "Well, I didn't see P after work so.... Yeah.. Haha" He then asked if it was OK to get my number so that maybe next time ti would be easier to hang out or ask for a ride and all. I was like yeah, sure. Why not? So I gave it to him and then he drove me home. He even offered to carry my groceries haha. How nice of him.

See? So this is the part where I'm so confused at the moment. Like, I had decided that I AM going to stay faithful to K, but like... W isn't that much of a bad guy either. Like, he can drive, has a nice heart/personality (even P told me that!) and he's just really like, talkative [nice way of course] and obviously, he lives HERE in PN!! So it'll be easier for me to see him IF we DO go out. But the thing is that me and him don't know each other that well. I mean, I've only seen him about 3x altogether?

He texted me last night after [his] work [at about 11.15pm. And we didn't stop until like, 1.40am. But yeah. Was a nice conversation.

It's just that, W is so close to me [living-wise] whereas, K is sooo far apart from me, though we are closer [friendship/physically/emotionally] than me and W are. So like... I dunno. I don't know what to do -or think right now!

Quickly!! Come back down to PN!! And ask me or I will eventually... Forget about K... And I don't want that... Do I...? Na. I don't think I do.... :(

Counting Down the Days

Oh man... It's such a hard thing to do, waiting for someone. Waiting to see someone.. I'm like counting down the days till I finally get to see him. I get so excited knowing that it is already mid-July already!!! i just want to know when he comes back. Like the exact date and all.

We are like planning what to do already [over text] when he comes back down to PN! Haha! Oh I want to see him soo bad x( It's like, when my [younger] sis talks about her and her boyfriend (or just her boyfriend) it kinda makes me jealous or envious in a way. Coz I want to have a boyfriend to talk about too!! :D But I guess I'd have to wait until the day my dearest K asks me to be his girlfriend! xD EEK! I'm getting so excited!! Haha! *Blush*

I miss you ♥

Same Thoughts

Oh *sigh* K keeps thinking that one day I will leave him. Which is NOT true! Like, he keeps thinking that, by thte time that he comes back [to PN] I would've found another guy and then when he comes back I'd tell him to get lost or to go away. I was like aww. Come on. I would never say that to anyone. Only as a joke but not serioously -unless I have to of course.

But I only like him, and wish to be with him and no one else. I mean, I know it's tempting to go and check all these other guys out while he's soo far from where I am now. But I told myself, he's the one or me [right now] and no one else. So I am not gonna think of any other guy as a potential boyfriend, whether they are interested in me or not.

Today, during my break [at Valleygirl] my senior store manager (SSM) introduced me to her two guy friends. And they were both Taiwanese. (She's Thai). And in a way, you could say one of them was OK looking. And like it WAS tempting to think, "Ooh! Potential boyfriend material!" But I had to stop myself. Coz I have to be faithful to K, even though we are not going out yet. I guess this is a way to test out whether I can go along with a long-distance relationship.

So yeah. I know I'll never leave K for someone else right now. He doesn't need to worry about that. He also keeps asking, whenever I say that I'd wait for him -whether it is waiting for him after work or whatever, he'd always ask, how long will you wait for me? It's like, "Honey. I will wait for you as long as I need to." But obviously I didn't say that. I just said, "Until I see you."

AWWW!! I wish he was here! I miss him so much!

Oh yeah. And I have decided to eat healthy starting from this week/today. Coz man, I am getting fat!! Icooked porridge today! First time ever to cook something besides 2 minute noodles! Haha. It's not something awesome like fried rice. But whatever. Haha. Still proud of myself :D

Stop Saying That....

I don't know. But it seems like that, my feelings for K is ... I don't know... Fading? I mean, yeah, I still like him and no one else. But it's just that... [I guess] it's coz he keeps sort of like pushing R towards me or the other way around [pushing me to R]. And that's very fustrating..

He keeps saying that me and R make the "perfect couple" and it annoys me! :( I don't want him to keep saying that. It's annoying. Coz I like him and I know that he likes me, so I don't know why he keeps insisting that me and R make the "prefect" couple. I mean, yeah, He says that coz me and R argue a lot therefore, that makes us the "perfect couple" but that's just a silly thought. I mean, a lot of people argue and they aren't the perfect couple.

Though, yes, some do end up together. But the thing is, I have absolutely NO feelings for R. To me, he is a VERY VERY good/close friend. Like, I can lash out and express my "anger" or frustration at him and he won't mind. Like, he wouldn't be like *ignore* so yeah. He's just a good friend. I don't see him more than that.

I only want K. He should really stop saying that. Coz... In a way, it feels like he doesn't want me. Even though he said that he's not a good guy and all. And that he will find a better guy for me if he leaves this world. I'm just like, I don't care. I only want him!!! No one else! stop pushing me towards other guys that he think are good for me or the other way around! It's frustrating x(

I hope he'll stop saying that.

Phone Call

Tonight, he called me @ 9.13pm. Oh man. Was I surprised with that phone call from him or what? Coz he doesn't usually call me. But yeah, he called to ask if I was upset. Coz he thought that I was. But really, I wasn't. He thought that I was upset coz it started off like this...

He randomly bought up the fact that me and R would make a good couple and all [via text]. And that we'd make the perfect couple. Blah blah blah. And I don't like it when he does that, coz you know, I like him and it seems like he is wanting to push me over to him or something. He was like, R wants you not me. I was like, "Oh I see. So you're the one that doesn't want me. I understand now." Then he was like, "Haha. And how do you know that I don't want you? Or it could be the other way around. Maybe you don't want me." I was like, I never said that. He then was like, "I say R wants you. And I didn't finish the text. At the end. K wants Q too. With your reply, sounds like you don't want me?" I was like, I never said that. And he replied with, "I say that to see how much you care about me. If that makes you unhappy then I stop... Sorry." After reading that I was like, aww. That's so sad that he thinks like that :( I told him that I was fine. And he said, "Are you getting upset? Well when a sick person with no one care. He begin to think this world is nothing, not worth of living. And this is what happened today. I went for a long drive hoping to see the things that I have missed." Then I was asked him how the drive was.

A few seconds later, I got a call. And it was him. I was damn surprised! He asked if I was upset and I was like, no. I told you I wasn't. And he was like, Oh OK. Just checking. I was like *smile*

We talked for1 hour and 34 minutes [43 seconds] :D hehe. Man I sound so obsessive xD But hey! it was such a good conversation!! After we hung up, it just felt like we had just seen each other. Was so good to hear his voice again. So nice. I really want to see him again now! And I thought that maybe my feelings weren't that strong for him anymore... So it IS the fact that we don't "communicate" enough. I want to see him soo bad now! Why did he call me?! Now I'm back to my old self [2-3 weeks ago] feeling all hung up over him x( But then again, that's a good thing. Coz I don't want to be thinking about anyone else but him! Hehehe!

Then later on [after the phone call] he texted me saying that, "I'm so glad I know you. And knowing you is the best thing happen so far." I was like, "Aww! You're so sweet!" And he was like, "No. You are a lot sweeter. I can taste it. Hahaha!" It went on and on with us arguing over, who's sweeter and all. Then I had to go to sleep, coz I have work the next day. And he said his usual good night's and sweet dream's and at the end of the text, he added, "Love you always" I was like *huge smile*

Oh he is just the BEST!! I heart him so much! I'm sort of like counting down the days till it's August.. Haha. Obsessed alright! xD I don't know the exact date that he is coming down next month. But I'm waiting!! And can't wait till that day comes!!

And I downloaded the song, by Diddy feat. T.I. - Hello Good Morning. This song reminds me of K. Coz I got this song off him. And it's a good song! :D It doesn't describe us or anything. It's just a song that reminds me of him :D

Sad Thoughts

My poor K is thinking ever so negatively *frown* He's sick [ill] but it doesn't mean he is going to die. I mean, if he died, what am I gonna do?! I'd be in mourning for the rest of my life! :'( I don't want him to die! Coz he keeps saying that if he is going to die, he'd still watch me from above and help me find a guy that will care for me and all. I don't want any other guy except for him!!

I wish that he was here. Last night he said that he didn't think that he was a sweet guy. I asked him why and what he thought of himself. He said that he wasn't a good guy. And that there is a lot of bad things about him (something along those lines). And said, I'd probably stop talking to him after he has told me. I was like, aw no I won't. I don't judge people on what they did or what's bad about them. And I wouldn't mind, coz he's being honest with me and that the fact that I like him, so I have accepted him for who he is.

Unless he really do something bad like, cheating on his ex or a girl. Then... I'd most likely to have doubts about going out with him... But I sure hope that's not it!!!! I told him to tell me -if he wants to that is. And then he said, I'll tell you when I come back and after you tell me what you think of me. I was like, "WHAT!!! Now you're making me wait for an answer too aye?" Haha. But now I totally cannot wait till he's back. I want to know everything about him! And I want to tell him, myself, how I feel about him too... HEE! I'm all excited now xD

But for the meantime, I'll sit here and wait for him. And I hope he gets well soon.

Trust

I can't believe it. K gave me his username and password to his FB account! :O It's surprising to me coz I never thought he would. Coz he didn't seem the type to give out his personal details. Well maybe he gave it out to me coz he likes me? But then I asked him, 'Do you really trust me that much?' And he replies with, "Yes." I was like wow. Talk about trust! I mean, even I don't give out my password, to anyone! Let alone be the person I like! Haha!

Wow. I'm just so amazed. But like, I don't think I really need it. I just asked for it, for fun really. But yeah... Wow.

Anyways. All I know is that he truly likes me. And that I am the only one that he thinks about. Exactly how I feel about him. He's the only guy I think about 24/7. But aww!! He's sick!! :( That's so sad. I hope he gets well soon! And get well before he comes back to PN! Haha.

He said that he's looking for a watch too. Coz recently, I saw one at Stewart Dawson's [Jewellers] and they are having a watch sale. And the (perfect) one I like/LOVE is like $215.40!! Man! That's soo expensive!! And he said that when he comes down we could look for one together and get a couple watch. And I was like *HUGE GRIN* and said SURE! :D Oh that would be marvellous if we DID get a couple's watch!! xD haha Oh I'm dreaming.. But I SURE hope that does come true! haha

Wishing You Were Here

AWWWWWWWWWWW!!! As each day passes, and as we text each other, pretty much everyday, I miss him more and more by the day... And the more I want to see him and the more I want to be in his arms... I miss him so much.

Waiting for someone is really hard... That's another reason why I dislike long-distance relationships... And the hardest thing of all is, trying to act like his friend until the day he asks me to be his girlfriend... *Sigh* Indeed it's hard... I want to just burst out and tell him, how much I miss him and want to see him . And how I think about him everyday and night and how I wish he was here with me, right now.

And another thing that he changed about me is, the way that I think about long-distance relationships. Coz, before, I was highly opposed to long-distance relationships. Coz I refused to believe that they would work and that either one of the couples would cheat on one or the other. So.. I didn't want to be in that position. And I guess, knowing K, I trust him not to flirt or cheat on me with other girls. I trust him. He made me realize, if you loved someone enough, no matter what, you will trust them and not make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy when the two [couples] aren't together. I thank him for changing me this way :)

He told me last night that he might be getting sick. And I was like, aww. Don't get sick :( I want to see him all healthy (the next time I see him) not sick and unwell. I told him that he should have a good night's sleep tonight and that he should eat well. He replied saying, "I cannot sleep well. Cannot eat well with out you here with me." I was like, aww! He's just so sweet and adorable. I sooo wanted to hug him right then! Why does he have to live so far away from me...? I want to see him soo bad!

I miss him very much. I guess that is all I have to say right now.

Oh yeah. Next Wednesday is my last day @ McDonald's. I'm going to miss everyone soo much :( the only place with guys.. and you know me.. I'm not very good at socializing with girls... So.. That's why I will miss McDonald's so much. But then again, yay for Valleygirl. Coz the girls there are soo much friendlier and nicer than the girls @ Rubi Shoes. Haha.

Day and Night

I think about him day and night. I just can't seem to get him out of my mind...

My mom asked me last night, whether I had a boyfriend or not, coz of the fact that I have been sooo happy the past few weeks. (Pretty much ever since I got back from Auckland -according to her). And the fact that my younger sister told her that I had been "playing" with the "me to you" bear that K got me. It's so cute! And soft and fluffy! I love it! xD So yeah, that's what makes my mom thinks that I have a boyfriend.

Coz apparently, when a girl in "in love", they are extremely happy and overjoyed and nothing matters to them. So that's what my mom thinks. And of course she is right, though I don't have a boyfriend -YET! But, there IS that someone special on my mind all the time :D But I cannot tell her yet. Coz for a start, we aren't going out yet and I don't really like gushing all my lovey-dovey feelings to other people.

I soo can't wait until next month! Now I realized how hard it is to wait for someone this bad and that a long-distance relationship IS really hard! ><

He told me that we are 'two people sharing one heart' which is what makes us closer to each other than anyone else. I was like, aww! And last night [via text] I told him that, I always remember that night, where we just hugged each other for ages and didn't want to let go. He said that was all he remembered too and that, that memory is in his heart forever. I was like, aww. Me too! He totally makes me smile.

He likes to think that we are going to get married, and yet, we aren't even going out yet. Haha! But I wouldn't mind marrying him. He's such a great guy. So romantic and loving. But the again, I gotta see if he IS the man that I want to be with forever and ever. But right now, he is the one I want to be with forever and ever. But things change, and people change. So.. We'll see if that's what I think later on in life.

But right now! Let's not think about that. And just think about, how much of a cutie he is. How sweet and adorable he can be. He always manage to put a BIG smile back on my face whether I'm sad or not :)

I heart him soo much.

HAPPY!

He makes me so happy! We talked about we should cook for each other and that he is going to teach me how to cook, coz he knows that I don't know how to cook (haha!) and that I would make him coffee!! Man, talking/texting with him is soo much fun! I love him so much! Well.. we'll stick with "like" him so much for now.. Coz we can't love each other already and we don't go out yet, right?

And he was like asking me, did I think he was gay or not. And i said definitely not! He asked me how can I be 100% so sure? I was like, coz you don't seem the type. Then he goes, I could be gay on the inside. I was like, yeah right! Don't lie to me!! And then he was like, "Just joking. At least I know myself is not gay. Becasue I like a girl. And that girl is named, Q." I was like AWW! you are soo sweet and adorable! I soo wanted him to hug him then!!!

Oh I miss him so much. *Sigh* I have to wait for a WHOOOLLE month for him. Poor me. :( I miss him. And I can't wait to see him!!!!

Suddenly

Suddenly I feel so sad. After last night's texting-time with K. I don't know why.. But I feel.. unhappy in a way... What's killing me?

I think it may be the dream that I had lat night? Or was it the night before? Like, I dreamt that I was holding hand with ANOTHER guy and at the same time, I was thinking about K. I don't know why... But like I felt so bad. Even when I woke up, I felt so bad, I kept thinking about it. It felt like I had cheated on K already, even before we are together. Oh this is so bad.

But at least, now I know, I truely like K, and K only. No one else. And I would NEVER intend or think about cheating on him with another guy OR think about another guy like the way I do to him.

I also dreamt that he was going to com back in September!! Man! I was like NOOO! And refused to listen to the rest of it (on my dream). But then he texted me this afternoon saying that he will come back next month. I was soo relieved.

Aww! I miss him so much. I want him to come back now :(