Confusion Over and Over Again...

I don't know why I am feeling this way. And I know it's not right. And yet, I feel like this at some point. It's giving me all sorts of confusion and mixed up feelings. I mean, I don't know if I actually like him or not. But yeah...

That guy would be W. I mean, I have no idea if I actually have feelings for him or not. But like, at times, I think about him and then smile [occasionally] and like whenever I have something that I want to tell someone, the first person would be him, that comes into my mind, instead of K. I mean, I like K, right? So shouldn't I be wanting to tell him everything that is excting or whatever, to him instead??

Then at times, I think about W as a "potential boyfriend" material. I keep thinking about like, how he is so tall [compared to K -coz K is pretty short. Like same height as me. Either a tad shorter or taller than me], and how he [W] is pretty big and knows so many people, how he can drive as well [though his car isn't as flash as K's but oh well] and he is more talkative, has a job [though not as awesome as K's. Haha] and the face that he is actually only a year older than me [not 6 years older than me like K]. Yeah. Stuff like that. I keep comapring him to K. I know it's unfair. But.. I can't help it...

I know I shouldn't be doing or thinking like this. In a way, I think I should stay faithful to K, even though we are not going out yet. But still... I dunno why I feel this way about W. I think I need to stay away from him for a while until K comes back. I need to work out my feelings. I don't want to hurt K if I ended up going out with him [K] and then realize that I DO actually have feelings for W and then break up with him like a couple of months or so later. And that I don't want to miss out a good chance of having such a good boyfriend, though he lives so far away from me.

I need K to come back so Ican sort out my feelings faster. Just like how he came back last month and helped me sort out whether my feelings for H were real or were just 'in the spur of the moment' kind of feelings. And it turns out, they were only 'spur of the moment' feelings. I feel nothing for H. Though K doesn't know that, when he comes back, he helped me realize/figure out my feelings for others [as well as himself also], it's OK. He doesn't need to know. It's just between me, myself and I. I MIGHT tell him, once we go out sometime. But we'll see.

ARRGGH!! Quickly!! Come back to PN!!!!