Work Sucks!!!

Seriously, I hate working with my now-pregnant manager. Like seriously, she's so lazy. She makes you do everything and like complains about this and that not being well done, and like blames stuff on you -just because. Like, today after work, she was like, "Oh you've got to make sure all the [clothing] garments are together in the same colour. Cos Q, I know that you want to get out exactly at 5.30pm and you don't do it properly." And you know what? It F&*%ed me off. I didn't say anything to her, cos like normal, I don't want to cause conflict at work. But seriously?? Who wouldn't want to get on on time?? Especially when we DON'T get paid for over time work AND we have to do 10x more than other stores would have to.


Not only that, but she seriously does nothing. Besides stand there and talk to customers or her friends that come into the store, takes like 45mins breaks when she's on her 30mins break and the same with her 10mins break -taking 15-20mins, does her OWN set tasks for the store (sometimes she even makes/asks you to do it for her) or make you go do the put-backs when you're clearly serving customers at the counter, while SHE takes your place at the counter and you have to go do the put-backs. I mean what the hell is wrong with her?? She definitely does not even deserve to be the manager. Like, at one point, she sucks up to us sales assistants, saying she helps us voice our problems at work to the Head Office, then the next minute, she's the one complaining about this and that and makes you do this and that or help her with this and that, when clearly, she's capable of doing it herself -on her own!


Don't get me wrong, I'm not picking on the pregnant woman or anything. She's been like this since day 1 when I started working there. She's seriously so rude too, sometimes. Like we have this new girl who's sort of recently started working at our stores. And she doesn't want her to work on the Monday 10th with her, cos we're doing merchandising and wants me to swap shifts with the new girl.  She even said that she's "f&^%ing useless." I mean like, seriously?? Has she ever thought about how freakin' useless she is sometimes?? Or the fact that she's freakin' lazy as well?? She's just so mean. Just because she's got no one to do all the jobs FOR her, so that she can leave on time or earlier, when the new girl is working, doesn't give her the freakin' right to say such nasty things about her!!! She's so cruel. I seriously cannot wait till she's on her maternity leave and then steps down from being the store manager. She seriously, doesn't deserve that position.  


I absolutely hate working with her. She makes me dread going to work. She's fine when it's like outside of work or when work is over.  Otherwise, she's all about criticizing people and demanding them to do this and that. I really don't like her working ethics.

Jealousy

So me and my mom were talking about my boyfriend. I jokingly said to her that "he is your son in-law" and she then asked me, if I was 100% certain that he's "The One". I said yes. But then she just like you know, say the usual thing to assure me, like most mother's would. She just like said that since he's very easily to get jealous (referring to his jealousy over my guy BFF, R), he might you know, cause major conflict when we're living together. Like he'd be guarding me and acting very very over protective etc. And it would be like as if I have no freedom. And whether or not I'll be able to put up with it for the rest of my life.  


She says, if he got over the 'R issue', there will still be other guys, going in and out of my life. And obviously he's going to get jealous at some point if I get close to another guy. So it'll just be a cycle. 


When I think about it, it's kind of true. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love K to death!!! But he does have an issue with some of the guys that I hang out with and all. Right now, it's my guy BFF, R. And he's always sounding very upset or just unhappy whenever his name is mentioned. He always over-thinks whenever I talk to my BFF or text him etc. He keeps thinking that I'll cheat on him with my BFF. Which is obviously not true. Because I'm clearly not attracted to my BFF that way. Although my BFF does like me more than a friend. Which is probably why, my boyfriend has gone even more protective over me, whenever R is around or when I'm talking to him or about him.


I don't want to be stuck in a "psycho" relationship. Like where someone controls what you do, when you're coming home, why are you going out, who are you going out with etc. It gets really annoying and frustrating. I mean, K really needs to learn to trust me. He keeps saying he does, but it just doesn't feel like he does trust me, whenever I bring up R's name :/


He's really a great boyfriend, but he's just got that so-called 'flaw' and it does bother me a lot. I mean a little bit of jealousy is totally OK, but like just OVER the top kind of jealousy is totally unnecessary. I love him to death and want to be with him forever, cos he is definitely the "perfect" guy for me. He treats me well and all. Just that jealousy part, gets to me at times when it happens. I really do hope that he will learn to trust me more, when it comes to me hanging out with guy friends in future. I want him to loosen up a bit and not having to want to go out with me all the time if I'm going to be with guys etc.

Second Time

Last night, me and my boyfriend had another fight over the phone -yes, again. It was over something very stupid. I was just jokingly accusing him of cheating me me with another girl in China 4 years ago (and we weren't even dating then). And then about 11.30pm, he said he wanted to go to sleep cos he's starting to get a headache, and has work the next morning and he was feeling tired. But I was childish and continued. 


I was going to let him go to sleep after one last sentence about that topic. But BEFORE I even finish the damn sentence, he talked over me and then HUNG UP ON ME -AGAIN!!! SECOND TIME, BRO! Oh my Gosh. At first I was sad and shocked he hung up on me again. But after a while, I was just purely angry. Every time I thought back about the moment he had hung up on me, tears of anger would want to come out. But I had to hold them in. I was really upset.


But of course, after he hung up on me, I texted him saying I'm sorry for being so immature and continuing. But it was OK if he never called me again, so that he could get his sleep without having a headache cos of talking to me over the phone so late. I know it was clearly my fault for starting it, and being so annoying and immature about it. But at the same time, I just wanted to hear his voice for longer... 


What he did was not only mean but very hurtful. I mean, how could you hang up on someone like that?? I don't get it. Not once, but twice!!! I felt so hurt and angry at the same time. I don't know how he does it. It's like, if you're going to regret it the next day, don't do it!!! Far out! It's just not cool! 


I dunno. This is the second time. And it seems like it happens every year now. Last year it was about in September/October that it happened. And it's the same this year. Maybe it will happen again next year? I dunno what will happen if it happens for the third time... I'm already ignoring his texts, although he's texted me that he's sorry for hanging up on me and all. I've also texted him saying that I don't want to talk to him today either. So yeah...


Certain situations like these, makes me think, "Are we suppose to be together?" or "Are those Chinese zodiac things right about us, about not being compatible together?" According to my dad, we won't work out eventually. But I don't want us to end. I love being with him and I don't want anything bad to happen to us. But situations and fights/arguments like these, makes me think twice about whether the zodiac thing is right or not. My mum says that we'll be fine as long as we work things out together and like just balance each other out and not "take advantage" of each other or always being so demanding etc. 


I know that K always is the first one to apologize and I know it's unfair. To be honest, last night, he did sound pretty annoyed before he hung up on me. So I didn't think he'd even text me today or even apologize.... But he did. Which I'm pretty surprised. He said he called early cos he missed my voice heaps and haven't talked to me for quite a long time at night, but he didn't know it would end up like this.. I felt bad, as it was my fault for being such a b*&%$... 


I want to text him back, but my mind says, "No! Screw him!" I just don't know what to do.. ignore him for a day? Or should I talk to him again later on tonight? I'm still slightly pissed off at him, whenever I think back to the moment where he hung up on me. Right now, I feel fine. But I don't know, probably slightly mood-less at the same time and just don't want to talk to him. 


I'd most likely end up talking to him by the end of the night anyways... Cos I'd feel bad about it and don't want to drag on this problem for too long. Cos I know we both promised not to leave our problems/arguments/fights for over 24 hours. And I was the one who asked for that. So I gotta live up to my word. But it takes time to forgive him "properly" without being forced to forgive him.... You know? 


(Of course we're all good now. I ended up talking to him around 4pm. Oh I'm so weak-minded hehe. But I love him so much)

Missin' You So Much

The reason why my boyfriend has only been staying for the weekend, is cos he's changed areas in his job. And now it's 5 working days and 2 days off. Before it was 6 working days and 4 days off, meaning that he could come back and see me longer. Now, it's so hard to see him longer than like, 1 day and a half-ish. It's so sad :(


Now that he's gone back for work, it feels like it'll be aaaggeessss till we're able to see each other again. I just miss him even more now. Every month, I only get to see him like for 1 day and a half-ish. It's very painful. It makes me feel so lonely without him by my side. 


Sometimes it feels like he's the only person in this whole world (besides family), that I can turn to, with any problem that I got. He means the world to me and if anything happens to him, I'd be ever so devastated :( I don't want him to work in that new area anymore. Not only does he not get enough sleep/rest, he has to wake up so early and has a lot of stress at work cos of the work load that he has to do. I worry about him heaps. 


There are times, when I wonder and think to myself, if he didn't have a girlfriend, would he still be the same? Like, sleeping late at night, hoping/waiting to call me or having to try text me whenever he can? It makes me think, he gets so tired, is cos he has a girlfriend... Maybe if he didn't have a girlfriend, he'll like the job more, and wouldn't have to plan as many trips to come back and see me (and his parents)? Wouldn't have to stay up late, waiting to call me or checking to see what I'm doing etc.


Either way, I miss him heaps and I try my best to not be a "princess" and let him have most things his way. I don't want to see him get sick or anything which may make his health worse :( I worry about him heaps. And I miss him more than ever now :(

"Should Get Married"

So my boyfriend came back down to Palmy for the weekend and tonight, just before his flight back to Auckland, we had dinner at his place with his mom. After dinner, he went for a shower, while me and his mom sat there, having a chat about, I don't know. Everything. Mainly about life. 


The thing that shocked me the most was that she said to me that, me and her son [my boyfriend] should get married!!!! I was like WHAT!!?!??! You gotta be kidding me, right?!?!! She was then like, "You can still study when you're married. It would be nice if there was someone to look after K when he's at home. Cook him some homemade soup and look after him in general." I just didn't know what to say after that... Just sat there kinda shocked and speechless. She also mentioned that, she and her husband [K's parents] could move up to Auckland as well, cos K's older sister is in Auckland too, and so they don't have to live in Palmy by themselves as they can't speak English that well, and needed to rely on us young[er] ones.


To be honest, I don't mind marrying him. It's just a little TOO early to be thinking about that. I mean I'm still VERY young and I do not intend to get married ALREADY! I have a lot I want to do before I stay really committed to the relationship. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm not committed right now, it's just that the situation would most likely turn into: get married → have kids → become a housewife → no time for self etc etc. And that is not what I want... Not yet anyways.


I mean, we plan on moving in together after I graduate from uni anyways.. So there's no rush to get married yet. When we move in together, we'll see each other everyday and I'll be able to look after him and he will be able to look after me. It's just it'll be a year until we get to move in together. But I'll be moving up to Auckland of course. I'm trying my best to pass every single one of my papers without fail. My goal is to graduate, move up to Auckland and live with my boyfriend. 


So marriage? Hmmm... No thanks. Not for now sorry, Aunty! :/

Never Will Be The Same Again?

This is the first time -ever, that me and him has ever had a fight/arguement that lasts for more than a day or 24 hours even.........

I don't know whether he is angry at me for not answering his [phone] calls 5x or that it's coz I told him I was considering about going to town after my work mates 21st birthday party..... But either way, since last night, we haven't really been talking the same... And it's killing me...

It feels like we're on the verge of breaking up... But then he says that he loves me and will never leave me... But I just can't feel that... I serioulsy don't know what's wrong... And why it's so hard to get over. Maybe I'm missing out something.. Or just haven't thought about it clearly from his point of view....?

I don't know whether we will be able to go back to how we were before all this... But he says he will be fine maybe on Monday or Tuesday... Even if he does feel better, I still don't see how we can talk like we have before... Like I said before, we've never had an arguement/fight for such a long period of time... This is the first..

And next month is our 1 year anniversary... And I was planning to make him this little scrapbook of all our memories so far... And now.. With all this happening... I don't even know if it'll be happening and whether I should be continuing or not... I got everything I need so far. Just need to print out some photos and then arrange them...

It's just that, if we do end up being all good after a couple of days then I wouldn't be able to finish the scrapbook on time, as I have other things like, work and my studies to focus on... But if we really happen to end things... Then it'd just be another piece of sad memory, hanging around me..............

I hope for the best. But at this rate, I really don't know what will happen, and I seriously don't have the motivation to actually get started on the anniversary gift.... Although I know I really need to or I might not get enough time to finish it on time....... *Sigh*

Someone please help me... I can't tell anyone this. But myself........


P.S. We're all good now ;) hehe (26/07/2011).

Ears Pierced!

Yayyy! I got my ears pierced today! Woop! It was sooo sore when the lady first punctured the holes into each of my ears!! It even turned red... But I'm just very happy that my boyfriend went with me. I want him to be there for me for everything!!! Hehe.


Anyways. I'm not allowed to change it till 6 weeks time and I have to sanitize it every night. It's going to be a hassle :/ But oh well. I guess it's worth it in the long run :D I can't wait till I'm able to change them everyday and not having to sanitize them! Hahaha! So we'll see how it goes and pray to God, that my ears won't get infected!!! That's my only fear right now! (besides exams of course xD).

Making Up

So I ended up calling my boyfriend last night after he called me 3x and texted me like 20+ times. I thought that maybe I could leave it till this morning, but I'm glad I didn't.

Cos my poor Honey cried and was totally upset. It just hurted me so bad, knowing that he was soo sad and was crying. That poor baby. I'm so glad I called him up and told him everything is going to be OK and talked things out once again. Love him to pieces.

I could never leave that cute little boy. Love him forever and ever!!!!!

Feeling Like Crap

Today, I had the WORSEST day ever! Because in the morning, I woke up with cramps and then we had some ginger tea. Was in soo much pain! Haven't felt like that before! Then after a while, I got better and was able to get out of bed and get ready for work. Was totally fine while I was walking to work. During the first like 50mins of my work, I was STILL fine, and then it just got to me. I felt soo sick. Like, dizzy, faint-ish, on the verge of collapsing, feeling hot and then started sweating.

I thought I could wait until I went on my 10mins break at 4pm. But I guess I couldn't. And ended up going into the store room. Lying on the chair. after my manager and 3IC found out, my manager decided that I should go home.

So I ended up going home at about 3.30pm. But first, i went to McDonalds to have some food. Cos my 3IC told me that it was cos I didn't eat anything at all. And yes, my boyfriend told me to eat before I ate. But I just didn't have time.

After that, went to shop a bit then went to buy my dinner at the supermarket. Then walked home.

Of course I told my boyfriend about it, he was very very worried too. And I feel bad for making him worried and making my manager worried too. I'm so happy that my work mates are soo caring towards me and that my boyfriend will always be there for me. Love him heaps.

But now I'm totally fine, right after I had my lunch at McDonalds. A burger and a hot choclate.
Thanks to all those people who cared about me :) Love you all.

♡

Moody

I have been real stressed and just moody lately. Mainly cos of the fact that I have soo many assignments and they are so hard to do. AND the fact that I have to work heaps as well, so meaning not much time to work on my assignments!

The assignments that I am stressing mostly about are the Japanese ones! Cos they are ALL in Japanese writing and it takes me soo long to read and understand them!! I have to like Google Translate it! So irritating!

And I got this 200 word essay -written in japanese due next Firday! And the thing is, I have to work like everyday, 11.30am - 5.30pm coz my manager is taking her annual leave! So I wouldn't have much time to actually do my assignments!

And I guess all this stress is making me take it out on my boyfriend. Like the littlest things that he does, makes me go all upset and mad at him. Like tonight.

He didn't text me for like an hour, then 40mins then 30mins. And I got really irritated and thought he was just too busy for me, so I went all grumoy at him. At the same time, I was working at my parents' shop, and was mopping the floor and as I tipped out the water and wash out the bucket, all the freakin water splashed onto my shoes! Making my foot all wet and mushy! Was NOT a good feeling! And having that, it just made me more annoyed! >:(

I then decided to text K that, I wasn't in the mood and didn't want to text anymore for tonight and told him not to call me tonight.

He continued texting me and said he won't give up. He sounded reallt really sad after an hour or so. He kept apologising. I felt very sorry for him. But I just wasn't in the mood for talking and I had set my phone onto "silent" mode.

He said that he will continue to text me until I replied, otherwise he is not going to sleep. I was like, 'Aww, silly boy. Don't do that.'

I don't know... Maybe I will call him later on tonight.. Or maybe I will just leave it and go to sleep and see hat happens tomorrow mornign or something.

After Telling Him

So I ended up telling him about me, going into his email last night. It took me SOOOO long to tell him!!! He called me up earlier than usual and I was soo not ready for that, and then I decided I should tell him. But I ended up telling him through text. Cos I was just too damn scared and couldn't bring myself out to say it to him.

After telling/texting him that. He was amazingly fine with it! :O I was soo shocked and like, not sure whether he was seriously upset or totally fine with it! He said that he was aware that I would go into his account and read his emails, since the day he gave me his password to it. And he didn't mind, and even asked if I had any questions to ask (knowing that I read only his and his ex-girlfriend's emails), and asked if I was OK, whether I felt uneasy after reading it.

I told him I was fine, just scared after reading most of the emails. Oh! And I asked him about that, 22 December 2010, email. He told me that he only meant it as a friend, kind of 'miss', not the way me and him, kind of miss. I mean, it's hard to believe at first, but then again, I know my Honey is very faithful to me, and would never lie to me.

He told me a lot of stuff about her (and their relationship). Stuff like, why they broke up and what happeened and yeah. Stuff that I had always wanted to know, but was too scared (cos I don't want to bring back sad and painful memories back, for him) and now, I have all the answers.... Until NEXT time when I have another question! Haha.

Aww so glad I told him and made things clear :)

"Curiosity Killed The Cat"

I'm Sorry... But out of the blue, I decided to go into his email account for the very first time. And the first thing I look at is through his inbox of course. I see a lot of emails from me and the rest were just his business.

And yes... I had tried to find his ex-girlfriend's emails in his inbox. But I couldn't go through many many pages of them emails [from other people], so I went to search her name in the "search" box... I typed in her surname. And what do you know? There are quite a few emails from her. The current ones were from 2010. I can't remember what month or date, and I don't intend to. But the emails were all casual emails. Nothing too surprising or shocking.

But then I went into his "drafts", cos once he told me, that was where all his "secrets" are kept or that is the place where he blogs. Once I clicked on that. I saw that there were quite a lot of emails that has got to do with her. And I have learnt that they use to call each other "benben" and "tata" and another one like, "zhazha" or something. I sorry, I poked my nose into his past, and now I am damn curious about what happened.

Oh and I also found out that on the 22 December 2010, he emailed her saying that, since she was gone, he kind of misses her. After reading that, I was damn shocked and felt sad! I mean, I thought we were happy together! Why would he say such thing to his EX-GIRLFRIEND?!?!!? O____o Hmmm... I dunno. I want to ask him about that now. Maybe that time I wasn't a very good girlfriend towards him, so he went back to talking to his ex-girlfriend or something? Or he just really missed her? Hmm..

There were heaps of emails. And now I have also learnt that it was HER that broke it off with him. Now I want to know the reason... And i don't intend on asking him... Apparently they started dating in February 2002, for 6 years. That's a LONG time! I know if I were to ask him about her and his past [of their relationship], he wouldn't tell me. Cos after all, it's not that easy, and I do have that uneasy feeling, even if I wanted to know more.

Now that I know this much... I don't know whether this is considered "snooping around" his stuff or not.. I don't know whether to tell him or not.. And if I don't tell him, I know that on our 1 year anniversary, I promised to let him see my blog, and then, he would definitely see this post, and I don't know how he would react... it could end up as a disaster and we may end things or having the worse anniversary -ever. Or we may be able to talk it out?

If I tell him sometime today, it might not be that bad. Although he might be a tad upset inside, and not show it towards me. But I don't want to keep secrets from him!!! xO Awww! ... I don't know!!!

Should I tell him, or should I not? Cos now I feel uneasy... It feels that I'm lying to him... *Sigh* What should I do....? Tell him... Or don't tell him....?

Maybe I will tell him... At some point... Eek.

Our Very First Kiss

Awww! Guess what? My boyfriend still remembers the day that we first kissed. That's so sweet, isn't it?

I mean, even I didn't remember until he sort of went, "Reeeaalllyyy?" Which made me think twice, that it was true, that it wasn't the day that we were at his place. It was actually on that Monday night back in August, outside my house, when he dropped me off home.

Remembering that now, is just so sweet. That first kiss that we shared... Like 4 days before he asked me out and then 2 days later, at his house, we kissed again. Like Oh my gosh. So strange (cos of the fact that we weren't together at that time). But now that I think back to it, it was very sweet indeed. Aww.. It just makes me smile, just thinking about it.

I'm just soo glad that I agreed to be his girlfriend. If I didn't, I'm sure that it would be the worst decision ever!

Love him so much!
x

Romantic And Not-So-Romantic

Hmm.. I don't know. This is just another random entry, where I just casually enter my little thoughts into, I guess.... :o

So I just wanted to say that, although my boyfriend loves me and cares for me a lot. But I just feel that he's not as romantic as I thought he would be. And yes. I have already told him [my boyfriend] this. I mean, I'm not asking for him to do anything like, totally out of it. Like, setting up a mini surprise party or like, drive me to some sort of "romantic" destination or buying me a frekain' $1 million ring/jewelery.

All I want is for him to, sweet talk me a little, do little things for me -without me knowing, and I find out later (although he has done something like that already), buying something that I say that I really, really, really, REALLY like/love, but am too poor to afford it :( BUT! I know he's not rich himself, but spoiling me a little, like once every 6 months or more is fine :O

Maybe I'm losing track of what I really want to say, now that I'm typing it all out... :s Hmm.. Maybe... I mean, I'm sorry, but this time I have to compare him with R -again. Sorry Honey x(

I know i shouldn't be comparing my boyfriend to my guys best friend -who likes me more than a friend. But like, in a way, I think R is more romantic in his on little way. His way is like, quirky with a touch of romantic-ness. And the thing is, he spends time on something that he gifts to his "special someone" and just like, he puts in the time and effort. Regardless of the money he has to spend on it. BUT! I'm not saying that my boyfriend is a cheap ass and cares a lot about money. But I'm just saying, he [my boyfriend] could perhaps spend a little more time in giving me those special gifts.

And and! Like, sometimes, with the thiings he says [K] isn't as touching as R's words. But, deep down, I know that I love him [K] a lot, and I know that he is the one that I wanna be with. No one else. I definitely don't see a future in me and R. Even if his words are so sweet and touching. Always putting me ahead of any other girls he knows -whether it's true or not. I don't know. Cos I don't know if he says the say things to his other female friends. And he does a lot of things for me.

I definitely love K a lot and don't intend on leaving him. Cos he is the perfect -well near perfect boyfriend. He loves me, cares a lot about me, puts me in first place, buys me any thing that I ask for -directly, and just loves me as a whole. There's a lot more. But it'll probably be boring, reading the whole list.

Hmmm.... Well I guess I can't change my boyfriend's, personality and attitude. I know he's a romantic person deep down, and he says he is, but he is scared that he'd make a wrong move [in-person -not text] and then he'd regret it. So yeah. I dunno. I mean, even if it happened to be a "wrong" move, I mean, at least I still know he made the effort, right? All I know is that I love him soo much! And no one can EVER replace him :)

He WAS Unhappy

So I found out last night, during out phone conversation that he DID felt upset/sad, when I got called up into work. He said that he felt unhappy that I got called into work, and said something along the lines, of me not caring about him. And only caring about work. I felt so sad then. Cos I thought he'd understand. I mean, I know he understands, but he didn't need to say it that way :(

When he was here, he said it was totally fine and shrugged it off and said that he understood that it was important. I really did think that he was that understanding. But I guess not. Then again, I cannot blame him. Cos like he had mentioned, if I were to go up to Auckland just to see/hang out with him, and all he does is work, I'd feel damn unhappy and upset as well. So I understand. But I DID ask him if it was alright, and he said it was. But then... He said that I could've said no... :/

Hmm... I'm so sorry Honey. I really DO hope that the next time that you come back for a long period of time, I won't work when they call me in. Will only work on the times that I have been rostered x( Cos I really DO want to hang out with him and spend everyday with him, when he is here.

Left Today

Aww. My boyfriend left today, right after he dropped me off to work. We had lunch together before he left [I had work at 12pm]. I really didn't want to go to work today. I just couldn't control my emotions. Tears just kept coming out. I didn't want to cry in front of him. Coz he said that he didn't want to see me cry. But I couldn't help it. It's just soo sad that he once again, had to go back to Auckland.

I could tell at some point that he had a bit of tears in his eyes too. But he just wasn't going to have them come out of his eyes. So now I know, that he does cry when he leaves. I've always wondered how he could be so strong and not cry. But this time round, I managed to see him have tears in his eyes. I'm happy to see that, but I know it's not a happy thing to see.

He also told me, he hung around, and watched me as I worked before he left. It was so cute and silly of him. He told me that he loved me that's why he did something like that, and told me not to be scared. I was definitely not scared. I was like happy? And felt that he was being a silly little boy. He's just so cute like that :)

I love him so much. And that little soft toy that he got me for Valentine's Day, I sniffed him and it has still got K's smell in it. It just instantly made me cry, coz I missed him so much. I think every time that he does come and spend time with me for quite a long period of time, I fall for him deeper and deeper. Only he has that kind of power to do that to me. I love him so much. I want to be with him everyday.

Can't wait till he comes back again.

Saturday Night

Got to spend my last day and night with my boyfriend yesterday. Had lunch with him, my younger brother and sister, Hi and Ho, at the Bean Cafe. Then he walked me over to work. After work, we went to Valentines for dinner. My boyfriend totally reads my mind! Like that was where I had wanted to go as well! I told him that he could read my mind hehe. The food there was average. It was a buffet. And it costs like $70 something. After that, we headed to Downtown to see if there were any good movies to watch. [Last week (Saturday) we went to watch, No Strings Attached -it was good :)]. But seems like there were no good movies to watch. So we headed [to his] home.

We watched a "special" video and then I took some photos off him [from all those days that we spent together]. Then we went to pick my younger sister up and we all went clubbing with J and his girlfriend, Sh, as well as with my older sister and Ho. We first went over to Malbas. We went straight to the dance floor. It freakin' hot! Mainly coz I was wearing a blazer as well! I was like sweating soo bad! But it was so much fun! Then I got tired and too sweaty so me and K walked out to the car so I could drop off my blazer in his car. It was nice outside. Before we started dancing, it was sooo cold [and raining] outside. But not when we finished dancing.

We then went to Highflyers. And Sh went home with of her friends. There weren't as much people at Highflyers, like there were at Malbas. But oh well. We still had fun and K bought me a drink there :D

Then at about 1.35am we all went home.

It seems like during the whole night that we were at the clubs, my boyfriend didn't seem like he was enjoying himself too much. He was more like, looking out for me, seeing if any guys were going to feel me up or anything haha. Poor K. If only he would stop worrying about that. Silly boy. But we did dance together. Fun night overall :)

Foxton Beach

YAYYY!! Finally got today and yesterday off to spend some quality time with my boyfriend!!! I'm so happy :)

Yesterday we spent our day together with my sisters and brother and our other friend Hi, at Foxton Beach. It was so much fun. We went into Foxton's little city center and then went off to get fish n chips for lunch. It was nice and yummy too! Then we headed off to the beach side. It wasn't like cold cold. It was a nice breeze/wind. We took lots of photos together. I really enjoyed spending the day with him [and the others of course]. We went home at about 3.30pm.

Then at night time, we all went out to play poor at Mr Cue. We played till like, 12.30am I think. It was fun.

And today, we just went up to Uni, to grab some freebies! Haha. And then headed off to town [as my brother had a dentist appointment at 2pm]. I got a bit grumpy coz I felt that K didn't want to be with/around me. Then he felt it and said he was sorry. But then all these negative feelings came to me, so I could no longer force myself to smile. but I still love him..

I'm Annoying?

He was at my place tonight [and just left].

He read this email [with me -in my Hotmail account], which was from H. And after reading that, he instantly told me to not reply. I asked him why, and he tells me that it's not point and that he'd just end up making me feel sad and moody etc. I just continued asking him why -mainly coz I wanted to reply. I just feel bad for not replying. And then I guess he just blurted out that I was annoying. He was like, "Sometimes you are very annoying." After that, I didn't say anything else. I just felt so sad after he said that.

Maybe it was true? Seeing as he has never ever said something so direct and 'harsh' towards me -and meant it. But I guess, some days, all these harsh words will come out towards us two, in a harsh way. :/

But it's OK. I know he didn't mean to say it that way. I forgive him and I understand how he feels. I constantly ask him why when he has already told me why and all. But in the end, he apologized as always. He's such a silly little boy. Always apologizing, even when it's not his fault. So silly. But cute in a way... AND... Sort of annoying sometimes when he keeps say 'sorry' for nothing. Silly Honey.

Bit By Bit

Finding out so much stuff about him. Yesterday, at his place, I was looking through his laptop -with him beside me of course. He told me about how he uses Microsoft Word [MS Word] to spell check and checks the grammar, before he sends me the mail through FB. Like aww. I felt so happy and proud of him for doing such thing :)

And he also wrote a little diary entry on MS Word. I saw/read a bit. It seemed sad. I shall read more later after I made/told him to let me :D Coz he didn't let me read it at that time. It said something like, how him being a boyfriend... Blah Blah Blah. And there was definitely this sad vibe in that little entry. He says it's not a proper diary entry but it was certainly a sad entry.

But anyways, I'm sooo tired. I have been working everyday since I got back from Auckland with my boyfriend :( I'm so sad that I haven't been able to spend proper days with my Honey. I know I should've said no to working [getting called up], but I just didn't have the heart to. I know K understands, although I know he would be a bit lonely as he probably doesn't have a lot to do... I'm sorry Honey. But I promise to make the most of it when we are together.

Back From Auckland

First of all, I'd like to say that, on Valentine's Day, it was AWESOME! Although it wasn't all that "romantic" and all. But like, we spent the day shopping, went over to visit his [older] sister for [free] ice cream :D at Botnay Down. It was nice! Then went [to his] home and got ready for our dinner. We once again went to a Japanese Restaurant -the same one that we went to with my friends last year in June, called Daikoku. It was nice. Then we walked over to the Sky Tower and took some photos and went to the gambling side of the Sky Tower and we played on one of those slot machine thingys. Went to the souviner side of it too, bought some stuff for mum and younger sister. We then headed off to the Mission Bay beach. It was quite cold and windy. But there were sooo many couples there. It was soo romantic! :) I'm so glad I got to spend that day with him ♡

Anyways, so on the day that we came back [15th], like 1hr 30mins from Auckland, we ended up with a flat tyre. It was soo not cool. It took us about 2hrs or so to manage to get it all fixed and repaired. And it was after hours, so Honey had to pay extra for it to get fixed :( Both our parents knew about the situation and my parents said that it was alright to sleep over at a hotel for a night if the tyre or his car was unable to continue with our trip. But K said he wanted to take me home, as I had work the next day.

We ended up arriving in PN at about 3am. But I went over to his place to sleep, coz I didn't want to go home and wake everyone up -as I didn't have the house key with me. And at the same time, I wanted to be with my boyfriend :D

But we knew I had to go home sometime early in the morning, or my parents would be all worried and wondering why we got home so late. So we got up at about 6.45am or so, so that he could take me back to my place. Then went back to sleep. Was a good trip. Sort of. Wasn't the one that we both planned out to have. But oh well. There is always another time where we can have a proper road trip together that is wayyy better :)

Off To Auckland - Again!

Going back up to Auckland again too see my boyfriend again!!! WOOPEEEE!!! I'm sooo excited! Going back up to celebrate Valentine's Day with him ♡ I'm soo happy I'm allowed to go up to Auckland again!

I got him this "Me to You" bear photo frame, with our photo in it -once again. But it's so much cuter. So now he's got a photo of us on his keys and in his room :D haha. Oh and of course, I got him another card :)

I'm so obsessed with putting our photos into photo frames and all haha. Hmm.. I'm thinking, for our 1 year or 2 year anniversary, I'm going to make a mini scrapbook or maybe get a little album so we can add photos into it. Hmm... But I might change my ideas again xD

Study More, Work Less

R told/texted me, saying that he can look after me financially and to not worry about money and to worry more about my studies. blah blah.

When I told K that. He was soo not happy to hear that. He said stuff like, 'Why would you want another guy to look after you financially when you've got a boyfriend, right here, to look after you financially??' And to not go asking for another guy for money. And stuff like that. He got soo worked up over it. But I understand why -after he told me xD haha.

He said he felt like he was 'useless' as a boyfriend, seeing as he could not provide his girlfriend with the things that she wants/needs. And has to ask another guy for something. So yeah. something like that. So I understand. It's sort of like a "Man's ego" kind of thing.

So... I'll try not to be oh-so-greedy when it comes to [free] money :O haha. Kidding. But I'll defiinitely ask K for money if I really need it :)

Back From Auckland

Left on Sunday night for Auckland at 11pm and arrived at 6.30am.

On Monday - Went to Rainbows End. Then went to shop a bit at Manakau Westfield. Then went home, took a shower, went down to cousin's [parents] shop, had dinner with family/cousins and with my beloved boyfriend!! :D Went out to the city for a bit then K took us home and I got to give birthday gift to my Honey :) [It was a keyring -which is shaped like a book [locket-like] with me and his picture in it :) and also a little torch and a card of course].

On Tuesday - Went shopping, went home to take a shower and then went to see a movie 'Burlesque' with cousins and then dinner with everyone [cousins/relatives -mum's side]!! Then went to play pool & bowling. K came to join us :) We all went home at about 12.30am.

On Wednesday - Lunch with K, cousin I and younger sister at Albany. Went shopping in the mall with my Honey. Then he drove me home and was work time for him :( Had to say bye bye to him. And amazingly, I didn't cry this time :') Then went to grandparents place. said our goodbye's to them. Left their place at 6pm. When we got down to Hamilton, we visited our [non-blood related] uncle and aunt. Left Hamilton at 9.30pm. Arrived at Cambridge for dinner, had KFC. Got home at 2.30am. Had a shower and then slept at about 4am.

Was such a good trip. Mainly coz I got to see my boyfriend while I was up there :)

His Brithday Gift - Sorted!

So I finally have completed K's brithday present!! It's sooo awesome! Like I want one now! Haha. That guy who did that for me at Ink Post like printed out like a whole heap of that same photo that I decided to put into that locket haha. I was like, "Whoa, what am I going to do with the rest of those photos?" Haha. There are at least another 9 or so there. Oh gosh.

Well I am totally proud of myself. And I absolutely ADORE that locket. I hope that little torch does come in handy for him xO And I bought the birthday card for him too. I also bought a [four leaf] clover necklace and a pair of [four leaf] clover earrings for my 2 cousins in Auckland too. They're the same clover with a little pink diamond on one of the leaf. It's really pretty. They were from Pascoes. I think I'm starting to buy a lot of jewelery there nowadays :O

I still need to pack and write in that card for my Honey. And then carefully put my cousins gifts in my bag, so it won't get crushed and wrinkly on the way there. *Sigh* So much to do. Oh dear.

Auckland I Shall Go

So pretty much I was made to go to Auckland with my family this weekend. *Sigh* Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't wanna go, it's just that I was planning to go on the 13th [Feb] and had been rostered for work [Valleygirl] to work from Monday - Wednesday, and we're doing merchandising as well as stock taking. So it's sort of important really. But oh well. Too late now. I have already got someone to cover my shifts. So yeahhh... :/

Well on the plus side, I get to see my cousins, my boyfriend, grandparents and spend some time with the rest of our relatives, seeing as it is Chinese New Years on Thursday. So yeah. I guess it's worth it, although I just feel bad for leaving my workmates at this time [where they have to do merchandising and all] but then I feel bad for not going up to Auckland and have this "Family Reunion" dinner with everyone, seeing as it IS a once in a lifetime kind of thing. So yeah. At least I'll be able to go again on 13th February :DD

Oh and I had to get K's birthday present too today! Coz it's his birthday next week! And I thought it would be nice if I gave him the present in-person, although I prefer it on time :D I got him this keyring [silver] and it's like a little locket kind of thing, it's rectangular and it's quite small, coz it's for your keys. So I was hoping he'd add it to his keys :D And on it, I got "Happy Birthday" engraved on the front [the locket is sorta like a little book shape] and on the back, it's got "2011" engraved on it. It was so nice! And I also got him a little torch. But I think it's a little too big for his keys haha.

Now I just need to add our photo into that locket :D Hopefully I can get them to print out a tiny photo of us to fit into that locket, or it'll be tragic! D: Oh and I also need to get him a birthday card!

No Auckland?

Aww. Just told mum about my trip to Auckland next month. And she said no. Coz they're going next weekend and then it'll be Chinese New Years, so the grandparents would want to have a family dinner together. But I don't mind going. It's just that I know that if I go with them, then I know that dad wouldn't allow me to go again a couple of weeks later. So I don't know what to do!

After that conversation, I just had this really bad day and had no mood at all. I really did want to spend Valentines Day with my Honey in Auckland. Not in PN. Coz Auckland has more places to go and more things to do than here in PN. So yeah... I really do hope I can go! Or we'll both be really sad :(

Four Days Of Fun

Well my boyfriend came last Saturday [15th] by plane and MAN!! It was soo exciting just to see him after work!! Aww how I've missed him. Gave each otehr a HUGE as hug when we saw each other. Aww!

Well on that Saturday we played around at his place, watch a nit of a movie on his laptop, then had dinner @Nando's. And then had my sisters and Ho to join us for drinks @Mao Bar. Took photos afterwards at about 12.30am just outside the City Library till like 1.30 am haha. Was soo cold. But was soo much fun :)

On Sunday afterwork, we went back to my place, went on FB, played around, went to have dinner at my parent's shop. Then going back to my home and watching dramas together. Aww it was soo sweet :)

For Monday, it was just tragic during the daytime. Coz he was too busy with fixing the kitchen and all to come out and hang out with me :( So I got all unhappy :( But he came over to my parent's shop at 6pm and took us home at 7.30pm. We walked to the park near my house, while my younger sister and brother went on FB. It was soo nice being able to take a nice walk with my beloved boyfriend, on such a nice day/evening :) It was like a dream come true hehe. Then we walked back and went out for dinner at about 8.30pm @Lone Star and then my older sister came over and joined us at 9pm. Then took photos at The Square, then went to the supermarkets looking for dessert :D

Finally, on Tuesday, He said he'd come over at about 11am but texted me saying he'd be late coz he's going to take a bath. So I waited. -even had a shower too!! And he was still a no-show. I texted him. I called him. No answer. No reply. Work called me like three times and I ignored it coz I didn't want to work when it's my Honey's last day. Got soo annoyed when he finally replied and started calling me. He came over and he tried to make me happy again. But I couldn't help it. I just kept thinking, why do I love this guy? He makes me cry and get all unhappy over him and yet I still love him and I know he loves me too. I guess this is what you call "love"? But in the end he succeded and we had a bit of fun. laughed a bit and then finally went out for lunch @Bean Cafe with my little sister. Then went over to his place to get his hard drive and then came back to my place. We hung out and tried to make the most of it. We took a video of each other. Aww. Good for memories. Then sadly, he left at 4pm. I missed him soo much that I eventually had to cry again :( I told myself I wouldn't cry this time, but I just couldn't help it :'(

His flight was at 5pm and he arrived at 6.45pm due to the crap weather. But all I know is, I'm glad that he made it back home safely :)

I miss him soo much already. We have made soo much memories during these past four days. And I'm glad we did. I guess every time that I see him and get to spend time with him, Love him to pieces!!!!!!!!

So can't wait till my trip to Auckland next month to spend Valentines Day with him! YAYY!!

Finally Arrived!

Woopeee!! His gift has finally arrived!!! And he loves it! Aww I'm so glad he loves it. He even told me he cried (aww).

Everything that he said to me by text that night, was sooo touching. Oh how I miss him and wanted to give a big hug. I'm just really glad he's received it and loves it. He said that he is going to sleep with the letter that I wrote him, coz it has my smell on it. Like, aww! So silly that boy. Hehe. But I love him like that.

Aww! Just so glad he loves it! Can't wait to see him -soon!!!!! YAYYY!

New Years' 2011

So 2011 eh? Not much happening. Just work as usual. And that's it on the very 1st day of January 2011. [besides talking on the phone with my boyfriend at 12.30am and going clubbing]. But otherwise, Nothing interseting happening. *SIGH*

Wish my boiyfriend was here. Miss him so much.