Stuck in the Middle. . .

Now I have realized, how hard it is to choose between two guys, regardless of what the reasons are. (Like whether they both like you or that you like both of them).

So it goes like this, H likes me and he sort of like recently started sweet talking me and like sort of constantly reminding me of the fact that he likes me. Coz before, he wouldn't mention it and neither of us would. But now it's like getting brought up constantly and like pretty much everyday. In a way, he is sort of getting to me with all this sweet talk and constant talks about his feelings and all. Like, I feel that, maybe it is OK if I go out with him. Like yes, I have thought about it. For a while now. But then I know that before, you could say, that I DID sort of had teeny tiny feelings for K. So here comes the second part.

I've liked K since like about.... May(?), but then like he works and lives in Auckland, so we don't get to talk/text each other that often. So there goes the communication error. If we don't communicate, it feels like he's not part of my life anymore, like I don't necessarily remember him. Though I DO remember him. Just don't remember how he's actually like and all. And so that's when about like amonth later, I decide that liking him or even thinking about going out with him would be pointless, coz he's hardly around and we hardly talk when he's not here in PN. So we can't get any closer and even if we did go out, I would feel sooo sad and lonely coz he's not here with me :( and that I can't see him that often.

But then, he came back down to PN last thursday. He said he came down to celebrate my birthday and his dad's birthday. It was very touching indeed. Whether it was the truth or not, I guess, it's the thought that counts, right? So he and I text quite a lot now that he is pretty much free and doesn't have to work. And then all those feelings for him come back and that's when I push aside H.

All I want is K right now. But I know that when he does go back to Auckland, me and him will lose that part of communication again, although we do text sometimes when he's back in Auckland. But the good and thing that I'm most looking forward to IS! that the fact he's taking me up to Auckland this sunday!! Oh my gosh! I'm so excited!! xD But then soon enough, we will be 'parting' again and I'd most likely go back to H.

I guess the only thing that I'm "scared" of is the fact of me, maybe having to lose K as a friend. LIke a good friend, you know> Coz a lot of guys, tend to distance themselves to girls that are taken (suddenly) coz they don't want to cause trouble and all. So... That's why I don't want to go out with anyone right now really... *sigh* hard decisions huh??